What to say to the Boss

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by niceguy11, Jun 5, 2008.

  1. niceguy11

    niceguy11 New Member

    It's hard to know what to say
    the Boss wants you to work an extra day but you're almost comatose and don't know how to explain that you really need a day off

    I hesitate to say I have CFS

    I'm flexible when I can be but sometimes just can't

    What do you lazy bastards say? (kidding)

    Thanks Really

  2. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    It depends on how important job is, how big your company is and possibly what legal protections you have. If it is a smaller company, you may be out of luck.

    In my opinion, I don't think you should ever reveal your personal condition to employers or co-workers. They will use it against you and find a way to either fire you, or force you out of the job. You are perceived as damaged goods once you admit you have a health problem preventing you from doing whatever they ask.

    The answer is to make any excuse possible to get out of the overtime. Eg. you have prior plans you cannot change, you sprained your back, wrenched your neck, car accident, house fire, death in the family, whatever. I have become a excellent liar in the past years. I made up so many excuses to a customer about why I could not travel, eventually they just threatened to fire me from their account.

    Its all about appearances, not reality. If you need the day off and cannot rest to make up for it, just find a good excuse. People might tell you to admit you have CFS, and you have rights under the law, on and on.

    Sorry for the harsh response but I honestly believe this. I have seen it all and more with employers. They are only interested in themselves and the business or $$$$.
    [This Message was Edited on 06/05/2008]
  3. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    Just tell him you are a lazy bastard cause some doctor in michigan said so....and you couldn't possible work an extra day!!! rotflmao!!!!

    When in doubt...tell a white lie, a family memeber in town...previous engagement that you can't cancel, er...how about, your family member is getting married. Sometimes you need to take care of yourself!!

  4. jaded_lady

    jaded_lady New Member

    you know the size of your company, has anyone else had health issues and it not been held against them?

    If you have been flexible before, bring that up when you turn this day down. " I know I have in the past, but ,,,, sick relative, out of town relative or you have a stomach virus"

    "I know I have worked over in the past any time you needed me, but this time I'd rather be fishing, but with this stomach virus I don't think I need to be fishing or here."

    Let us know.

    Studies show most people who call in sick aren't really that sick, so don't feel too bad.

    I wouldn't say I was a lazy bastard, or that I had CFS!

    I held out till I had to say I had FM. I did not tell them I have CFS. I still have a job, but it has changed some behaviors I think.
  5. 7xgrammy

    7xgrammy New Member

    If you have an employee rule or union contract that says working overtime is mandatory with ____ days advance notice, you will probably have to work. If there is no written rule I would just say, "I'm sorry Mr. Boss but I have a prior commitment for that date that I cannot cancel."

    Under no circumstances tell your boss or co-workers about you medical problems. If your boss thinks you have a medical problem that is adversely affecting your job performance, he can schedule you for a fitness for duty medical examination at the company's expense.

    If you need to be off work often or for long periods of time, you should be able to be covered by the Fair Labor Standards Act(FLSA)if your company has more than 60 employees. Be prepared it requires a lot of paperwork and a very cooperative doctor. There are also protectons under Federal and State laws and union agreements.

    Hang Tough,

  6. CKater

    CKater New Member

    When I first became ill, I didn't tell my employer anyhthing, out of the same fear mentioned in other posts. But as my condition became worse, I had to tell them what was ailing me. They may not understand the illnesses, but at least they know why I miss work. They actually adhere to the law where I work, FMLA, and ADA. (But really behind my back they probalby just think I'm a lazy bastard....lol)
  7. klm6213

    klm6213 New Member

    I have had to apply for fmla the last 3 years because some days I can not even get out of bed let alone be ready to work with my medical patients. She has been pretty tolerable up until my last evaluation where she kind of slammed me from being gone so long;; But she is the type of boss that is never sick or does anything wrong. Must be nice to be that prefect.
  8. niceguy11

    niceguy11 New Member


    Lazy Bastard

  9. hi all,

    my bosses boss,knew i was a fibromyalgia sufferer,but he didnt tell my supervisor about it,as i wanted to remain quiet,and not be pitied,or laughed at.

    anyway now that ive had to go on sick from work for two weeks,due to breathing problems and vertigo,panic attacks.

    the fibromyalgia has gone down as my reason for being off work, sick.

    i know that when i return to work,my boss is likely to ask me...

    what is this fibromyalgia,and why didnt you tell me about it before now?

    i asked a paramedic yesterday..what is fibromyalgia?

    he said we dont really know what it is,but we know it is a real condition,and slowly the medical profession is coming to terms with the fact that we arent malingerers,but have a real, and at times, scary condition,affecting us.

    so ive decided to say to my boss,on my return to work (if i can return that is),,,,im working on it.

    well im going to say to him.

    when "YOU" know what fibromyalgia is,will you please let me know.

    all im told by doctors is that i have it,and they know very little about it.

    but too much work,crashes a body,and it takes time to build up the energy again.

    im just going to tell him i got bit by something in the garden many years ago,and got ill with the fibromyalgia.

    because thats what really happened to me,and i dont even know what it was that bit me.

    i suspect its fleas though

    love fran

  10. niceguy11

    niceguy11 New Member

    maybe bit by a tick

  11. CKater

    CKater New Member

    I know telling people you suspect won't understand any better than we ourselves do is hard, but there really is so much information about FM and you could print something out and give this to your boss. If we don't try to at least educate people on our condition than we're only hiding. I'm not embarrassed to say I have FM/CFS. It is what I have. While my illness may not fit someone else's criteria for what is an exceptable reason to miss work, I'd trade them their healthy well rested body any day. I don't expect everyone to understand my condition, but I refuse to hide from it, and I absolutely refuse to hide it from my employer any longer.
  12. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    There are way too many variables to give one pat answer.
    I think a lot depends on what kind of relationship you have with your boss.
    I told mine shortly after being diagnosed because he knew what I was going through.
    He has been WONDERFUL.
    I do my best to still be the best employee I possibly can be. I've always had a very strong work ethic and that is very important to me.
    I am lucky though - I have a flex schedule (to some degree). I mean I have to be there on certain days, but I don't have to punch a clock at 8 am. There is no way on earth I could do that.
    Only you can determine what the climate would be like if you told your employer about your 'condition'. Telling mine was the right decision. I couldn't hide my 'limping' aching legs, the grimace on my face.. I mean people were telling me to get to the doctor long before I went.
    I hope you find the right answer for you.
  13. CKater

    CKater New Member

    Totally totally agree...some things you cannot hide. I am fortune to have a good relationship with my employers and they are for the most part pretty compassionate even if they do not really understand. I still think they had more compassion for the guy who went and got dried out, but maybe that's just "a guy thing". Everyone has to decide for themselves what their situation will bare. It's very unfortunate that you cannot just be honest with people and expect them to be humane and decent and compassionate. But that is not the working world I guess...Best of luck to niceguy...and all.
  14. hi all,

    well i now know what happened to me at work,as regards me being made extremely ill with breathing problems,that were so bad,ive had to go on sick for two weeks.

    my husband has phoned and told my boss about it too,but i doubt he,ll act on it.

    i got ill and it was like something had changed in me.

    this slowly seemed to get worse,over the weeks,and my fibro and cfs,got extremely bad.i started getting the foggy brain.

    anyway now that im recovering at home,ive remembered what has been happening at work.

    a new woman had started at work,and ive remembered that she said so uses costic soda,at home to clean the drains,yard.

    id never heard of costic soda.

    anyway during my last day at work,before i became extremely ill,id heard this woman,ask her friend..

    have you put any down yet?

    and i wondered what they were talking about.

    i know she,d mentioned that she had put some down a drain near my work area.

    so it would seem ive been overcome with costic soda fumes.

    ive been ill since that woman started at work.

    id never had that vertigo thing happen to me before in my life,but it happened during this toxic episode at work.

    im now hoping my boss will punish these two ladies for disobeying work rules...never put chemicals from home,down school drains.

    take care,love fran
  15. kriket

    kriket New Member

    Tell the boss-



  16. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    I lost one job (a job I HATED btw) to FM and nearly lost a second. This was before I was diagnosed. I started this job about a year ago and within months started having flares. I dragged myself in on many days when I should have been in bed. I worked many holidays when I felt great in order to accrue comp time for bad days.

    When I was finally diagnosed Wednesday I went straight to my boss and he was wonderful about it. If they know why I have rough days, they will work with me. Otherwise they might just think I'm a lazy bum who likes to sleep late. As long as I continue to get solid ratings and don't screw up any major customers they can't get rid of me stating that I'm not doing my job. Fingers crossed that I continue to do a decent enough job to keep them on my side.
  17. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    When I was dx'd, I told right away and filed for FMLA. I know someone said it was a lot of paperwork and hard to get the doctor to cooperate, but that was not my experience at all. In fact, my company PAID you for being out on FMLA and my doc filled out the paperwork for intermittent leave as soon as I asked him.

    I had to use all my sick and vacation before I could use FMLA, of course, and I never got there before I left the company. My boss was very understanding when I told her but I did the FMLA to get it officially on record because what happens if she leaves and someone new comes in who does not know me and sees that I have been out a lot and am sick a lot? Anyway, the company has to have over 50 employees for you to get FMLA. My company had a form they used and gave it to me to take to the doc.

    If you google FMLA there is a lot of info on the government's website. Intermittent leave is what I expected to use, which is being out, uh, intermittently...