What would you have done?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Adl123, Dec 17, 2005.

  1. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Hello all. for those of you who don't know me, I have CFIDS, Fibro, a chronic bone marrow infection, Diabetes, Rheumatoid and Osteo Athritis,congestive heart failure, and several other conditions. Needless to say, I don't have a lot of energy.

    The other night, at my meditation group, we were just about to start the study part when the leader announced that I was leaving because I had just been in bed for a couple of days. I had told her that before things started, but I didn't know she would make an announcement.

    Everyone turned to look at me, and with big friendly smiles, several said that I was "the picture of good health" Well - there it was. I had not heard that in a long time. I didn't know what to say, because these are friendly, not critical people, so I said:"Thank you, we all do" (meaning all the people with CFIDS). Then they all laughed. They were not laughing at me, it was as if I had said something witty, or something.

    What would you have said? Why did they laugh? Sometmes I feel so out of it - so separated from society. This is my only social contact, and I don't want to lose it, but I'm beginnng to feel more and more that I don't belong, as I can only attend every so often, and then , can't take part in any activities.

    What would you have said? Do you know why they laughed?

    Thanks,
    Terry


    [This Message was Edited on 12/18/2005]
  2. smiffy79

    smiffy79 New Member

    its not fair she made an announcement like that she should have asked you first.
    i dont know why they laughed but dont worry about it.you know i think this must be another fm trait because i will be doing something nondescript and something embarrasing to me will come to mind and i shudder and groan in embarrasment as though it happened there and then.we tend to hold on to things when we should take a deep breath and look to the future.
    did you really want to leave your group? as for what would i say, i was once told i was beautiful until i opened my mouth so its safer to smile :)
  3. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    You hit the nail on the head. I was doing just that - thinkiing about something that hapened in the past.

    About if I really wanted to leave the group : I didn't, but I have been extremely exhausted for over a week, and it took a lot of energy to get dressed, go, and focus on meditating for a 1/2 hour.

    With congestive heart failure, I have to be careful not to become extremely exhausted. And it is really embarrassing when I can't concentrate on what people are saying when there is a discussion going on. Yes, I had to leave. I was at that stage where my whole body was screaming with exhaustion.

    p.s. I didn't tell tham that I had on 5 shades of make up to give me that "natural glow". LOL
  4. sdown

    sdown New Member

    Ive been angry too with people in general and there rude comments. I had a friend recently said "Oh you are so patient" She gave me this reply after asking me if I was working full time and I said no I cant. I was in the hospital recently and what I thought was a good friend waited 1 month to call me and said hello. Didnt ask how I was doing or why I had gone to the hospital. She said I didnt call you because I was busy working. I was very disappointed and will not consider her a real friend anymore. I wont be rude or anything but my heart wont be in the relationship like it used to. I heard something very hear warming on a tv show recently about someone who was very sick with similar stories. She said I turn anger into hope. So everytime I get a negative thought or angry about someone not being very understanding I turn that energy into being positive and hopeful. I say to myself its not there fault they dont understand. Don't worry about the laughing part. I had another friend called me recently said "Im working my butt off" I replied Im working my butt off to get better". So that's going to be my answer from now on when someone says "Are you working yet" and I hate that question. I will reply "Im working full-time" at getting better. So my goal is to remain polite with people but to let them know Im sick. I guess humour helps. One of my role models was Richard Pryor. He was raised in a brothel and then when he got MS he was still able to go on stage in a wheelchair and make people laugh. Now that takes guts. So hang in there. Don't let people bring you down. Smile and remember everybody loves you and is supportive on this site. Merry Xmas!
  5. Dee50

    Dee50 New Member

    I would have turned bright red and left. I don't handle that type of stress.

    You do so much-training your dog-getting out into a group deal. Caring for yourself-that's alot. You are so brave.

    I'm happy to get a shower nowdays!lol

    I think if anyone told me I looked "great" I would cry. I'm pretty sensitive nowdays.

    Things like why do you need a service dog? You don't look sick-oh you'll get better ect...send me back to my bedroom with Ruby and I'm in tears at least she understands.

    Found a service dog trainer. He knocked my choice of dogs being my boxer ect... I can't handle him it's easyer to train her myself than listen to his mouth about everything we can't do. And all this in my own home.

    I'm happy you have a social life-guess I'm not ready yet.

    Please place your name in the search I've got a harness post to you and I want you to see it, you may already know about it..

    Take care,
    Dee50

  6. Jgavi

    Jgavi New Member

    everyone hears this all the time.

    "Oh you look great!" even though people know we are very sick and feel awful inside we always get people saying stuff like "Man, you dont even look or act sick"

    Everyone can realate to who ever said that, thats why I think they laughed!

    It happens to me all the time- I like to hear how nice I look on the outside but am shocked to hear it because I am hurting so much on the inside that I assume the outside shell of me looks like crap also...- it wasnt said to be mean- it was said as "We totally understand what you mean!"
  7. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    for your responses. You are great!!!!!

    Terry