What's on your to-do list: August 10th through 17th

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by EllenComstock, Aug 10, 2009.

  1. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Hi, Girls:

    It feels so good to finally get on here! I can't write too long as my arms and hands are still not back to normal, but here's what's been happening with me.

    I never had tendonitis. I finally got the Occupational Therapist to admit this to me two weeks ago. Of course then I panicked wondering what was wrong. By then the pain was traveling to all my joints and most of my muscles. My regular doctor here in town was gone until August 24th. She's foreign and had gone back to her country to visit her relatives. I got her substitute who turned out to be a waste of time. My cousin in California, who was a physician's assistant before she retired, was trying to help me solve this mystery. My heart was beating irregularly. Harry and I were combing through my medical book-we were coming up with things like gout, lyme disease, lupus, etc. I even had myself checked out for a severe kidney or urinary tract infection as I am one of those people who doesn't have the typical pain when urinating when you have an infection.

    Then I remembered that I had started taking a diet drug to control my severe carbo cravings in early April. I remembered the news stories of women having problems taking diet drugs. I've taken an appetite suppresant before with no problems, but who knows? I looked up the side effects and it fit me to a "t"! Although I didn't all the side effects until months later! I got the first side effect, muscle and bone pain first. I called the pharmacist and he said that it was unusual, but not impossible to take a medication and get a couple of side effects right away and then get other side effects months later. I called Dr. Vallance (who prescribed this) and he said to go off it right away.

    But I still wasn't feeling quite right days later and then began to feel suicidal. Then my siblings (including my sister, the nurse, who I am not close to) became involved. I got really bad. In talking with my sister, I told her I had changed my anti-depressants a month due to changing over to Harry's insurance due to my job loss. I was now on Prozac. She told me that her daughter had taken Prozac once and was having the same symptoms I was-suicidal, bone pain, loss of concentration, jittery, etc. I had an appt. with Dr. Vallance the next day, I was taken off Prozac. Prozac also caused my institial cystitis to flare up really badly-terrible burning and constantly going to the bathroom. Thankfully that it much better. My father-in-law drove me to the doctors as I was in no shape to drive. I am so thankful that my sister told me this about the Prozac. I am sure we would have figured it out eventually, but in the meantime I would have continued to suffer. Even though my sister doesn't like me, it's wonderful that she went out of her way to help me.

    While I was feeling suicidal I had to have someone stay with me all the time. Harry continued to go to work. Thankfully I don't feel that way now, although it hasn't been quite a week now since I've stopped the Prozac (the amount of time it's supposed to take to get out of my system). This has been the worst thing I've ever been through. I feel like I've been to hell and back. Emotionally it's going to take me awhile to get over this, but I am forcing myself to get out and do normal things again. Jim and I went out to lunch with my brother, Tom and his wife, Marcia, the other day. Tomorrow I am going to lunch with some friends. My arms and hands are getting better. my ankles are still sore. I'm hoping I can recover enough to work again, but if I don't then I will just have to go on disability. I have ideas for volunteer work I can do. I am going to make the best of it. Life is too short to wallow in self-pity. My heartbeat is almost back to normal and my bladder is still sore, but certainly much better and I am sleeping good again. It's just going to take some time.

    I am going to have to catch up on what's happening with all of you. I would read the posts from the other weeks right now, but I can feel myself getting tired and I still have some errands to do. I just wanted to let you know I am still here and what happened to me! It took a lot of determination and strength, but I made it through this!


  2. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    Hello all,

    Ellen, my goodness! so much has happened since we heard from you last. I'm so glad you were able to get to the root of the problem and that your sister was able to help. I know of several people who have experienced drastic side-effects from Prozac, athough to others that particular medication has been a life-saver. The same holds true with Paxil. I'm glad your staying busy and doing the usual things. That is the best way to recover from any setback, in my opinion. I agree with you about wallowing in self-pity - life is too short.

    I've also had a setback recently. I haven't been able to talk about it to anyone but I'd like to share it with my friends here because it feels bad keeping it to myself. Last week, my partner of twenty years, told me he no longer loves me. I was completely taken by surprise. I felt sure we were going to live the rest of our lives together. He doesn't want to go to couple's counselling, he said he's not interested in saving the relationship (ouch!).

    I don't know how I'm going to get through this. To be honest, I don't even know what 'this' is. I asked him if he wanted to sell the house & go our separate ways and he said 'we don't need to think about that yet' which leaves me in limbo waiting for him to decide "when" we should part. I don't like anyone having that much power over me.

    I can't believe it's over. I feel so sad. He's been my sweetie for so long and I love him so much. But as Ellen said "Life is too short to wallow in self-pity". I need to give my head a shake, get some counselling, figure things out.

    This afternoon, I'm meeting my sister at the mall. We're going to shop a bit, have a bite to eat and she's going to give me a new (upgrade) cell phone (I'm on her family plan). I may talk to her about what's going on with my life, to ensure I can stay with her (for a time) if/when the situation warrants (she stayed with me rent-free for six months after her divorce so I'm sure she'll return the favour). Or I may keep it to myself a while longer, whatever way the spirit moves me.

    To-Do Today

    put dishes away
    clean washroom
    empty wastebaskets
    tidy living room
    editing project

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa
  3. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Omg girls, I'm not quite sure what to say.....

    Ellen, I'm so glad that you're feeling better and on the mend and that you've found the source of your problem. I'm desperately hoping that the suicidal feelings have gone away now. And also so glad that your sister stepped in to help, she is your sister after all. Sometimes we just need a reminder that if we reach out for help, it is there......sometimes in the most surprising places.

    We've missed you on this thread, but I honestly thought it was just from the pain in your hands that you were experiencing......so relieved to know you're doing better now.

    Anne Theresa.......I'm so sorry. So much heart ache that you've been dealing with on your own. I'm so glad that you've opened up to us and shared your pain. I'm not sure we can really help in any way but I want you to know that I'm here for you, I understand and I hope I can help you now and in the future......even if only to listen, I'll be here.

    This won't be easy but please try to save yourself the time and heart ache of going over the past to try to see the 'whens' and 'how's....this really isn't about you. It's about him....I doubt if he's thinking of anyone else right at the moment. You didn't do anything 'wrong' and know in your heart you couldn't have done anything 'more'......

    For some reason your life is meant to go in another direction.....and it will be good again and right and meant to be.....know this. There is a plan......I truly believe this...

    For me today, I'm taking Katy to have her pre-surgical blood work done in a few minutes. We might have lunch out and stop at the Thrift Store since it's her last day of getting around for awhile. This surgery has a very long recovery time so we'll try to make today special.

    I've put in a call to our Nurse Advice hot line this morning so I have a doc phone consult within the next 18 hours.

    My blood sugar has been wacky recently so I've curbed what I eat at night but now I'm losing weight again which isn't good. I look down and the space between where my breasts used to be is now concave and you can count the ribs, yuck!

    I need to know how to eat for both blood sugar highs and lows so I won't lose weight in the process. I can't afford to lose anymore....

    Hugs all.....

  4. sorekitty

    sorekitty New Member

    It's the middle of the night here and since I couldn't sleep I came on. I feel as though the world is turning upside down! I'm in shock with what you all are going through and can't make sense of my life either.

    Ellen-I'm so glad your sister was able to help you. That is amazing (I have two sisters that don't like me) so I am surprised. I really hope you feel better soon. Has it been difficult to wean off the prozac? Will you try a different anti-d? Hugs!

    Anne Theresa-I'm floored by your news. I am so very sorry. Twenty years and he just tells you he no longer loves you and it is a surprise to you. That is just sad and I do not understand. I hope we can be here to help you please know we care.

    Nancy-I hope you can figure out the putting on weight thing. It can be so difficult to keep weight on and you don't get a lot of sympathy from most people. I have been through it. Can you add protein powder shakes? Does protein help the blood sugar stay level?

    What surgery is Katy having? It sounds serious. I hope all goes well.

    I took Skeeter to the animal hospital and spent most of the day there Saturday. The issue of his pain and what we thought was arthritis is one thing but the mass they found in the stomach is much more serious. They think he has lymphoma. A lot of the lymph nodes in his stomach and the mass on the sleen are enlarged. They took samples but the labs came out inconclusive. So I brought him back in for a PCR blood test today that will hopefully shed more light on a diagnosis. The dr is very sure it is lymphoma though they just need to get the right testing to show for sure.

    I will take Skeeter back in this morning (if I can ever get to sleep!) to meet with the oncologist. He will need chemotherapy. I am so thankful we have pet insurance. This animal hospital is incredible. It is the largest in California. Meanwhile Skeeter is shaved on his tummy for the ultrasound and shaved at his joints where they tapped them for fluid.

    Honestly I do not understand why the last year of our lives we have had so many extreme stressors. I wrote them down and we have had 12 big stressors since last August. It feels like we are in the waves and big waves knock us down then before we can fully get up the next big wave hits us.

  5. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    Hello all,

    Molly & Nancy, thanks for your kind words with regard to my personal upset. I'm glad I shared with you, it feels better to open up and shed some light on the issue. Aside from you and my sister, I'm going to try keep it to myself, at least for now, because, although it's good to bring the issue to light, I'd prefer it not be a spotlight, if you know what I mean.

    I had a good talk with my sister yesterday. Before I could even ask, she assured me that she had a room for me at her place (rented townhouse), or if I preferred she could move in here and share the house and related expenses with me. I never even considered trying to hold onto the house but the more I think about it the more sense it makes. David's young (8 year's my junior) able-bodied & employed and he would be better able to buy another house some day. On the other hand, I'm 51, disabled and on a fixed income, so should I leave this house or agree to sell, I'll probably never own again.

    I hope you don't mind my thinking out loud like this - I just wanted to give you a sense of what I'm thinking about with regard my future (much better than last week when I couldn't see past my tears let alone envision a future). Nothing is going to happen overnight and in the meantime, Dave and I are getting along as well as ever, as if nothing's changed. It boggles my mind to experience such a strange and respectful ending but it's better than conflict and angst.

    Nancy, I hope you & Katy have an enjoyable day today and that her surgery goes well tomorrow. I think Molly's idea of protein shakes is a good one. Another idea is a product line called Extend-a-bar (they have an online store) bars & crisps etc. designed for people who are diabetic. I used to buy cases of their Peanut Delight bar (they were the only kind I liked but wow! they were good). I had to stop buying them because they caused me to gain weight. You can buy a sampler pack to see if any of their products appeal to you. They may or may not help you gain weight but, at the very least, they'll provide a snack that's not going to mess with your blood sugar. Gentle Hugs.

    Molly, I'm sorry Skeeter's condition is so serious and I hope he responds well to chemotherapy. It is amazing the stress you & your family have been through this past year, one issue after another it seems. It gets exhausting when all you seem to be doing is weathering the storms so I hope you have some islands of calm in the future.

    To-Do Today

    clean kitchen sink, counters
    swish washroom
    empty wastebaskets
    read & write
    scoot to store, maybe
    get dinner oven-ready
    thrift store shopping with a friend
    home for dinner

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa
  6. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    I've been out of town.....had to go to my Dad's funeral in Iowa. He passed away Aug. 2nd and my hubby, the twins and I were able to fly out for a few days. We got back Mon. night. His diabetes had worsened to the effect that he was totally bedridden and had pneumonia. I am sad to not be able to talk to him, but relieved he is no longer suffering. He is in a better place, I know.

    Anne T- so sorry to hear of your change. I'm sure it was and is devastating.....you are a strong woman, so remember to take care of yourself. I'm so glad you can stay with your sister. You will need her support.

    Ellen- I hope you are doing better. That was a scary time, and I'm glad you have figured out what was causing your problems. Take care.

    Molly- I'm always thinking of you and praying for you to have peace in your life. You certainly have had your share of stressors this year....and I'm sure we don't even know what they all are!

    Nancy- I hope Katy's surgery goes smoothly. I have never had your losing weight problem, it's even hard to relate. But hopefully, you will find something to help you put some weight back on. It sounds like a food absorption problem....something to check anyway.

    To do:
    Catch up since we've been gone......the fridge looks kinda bare!
  7. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Good Morning all.....

    Molly, you're right you've had a very full plate this year and I know how that feels. Then so many of our prayers were answered and things have eased up a bit.

    I hope everything goes well for Skeeter but I'm glad that you're happy with the care at the hospital for him. That helps......

    Anne Theresa, it's no problem if you need to bounce a few ideas around on here. I was wondering that myself, if it was possible or not....since he's going to be perfectly able to do the work to find another home. If he's the one who's finished, it's time for him to "Man Up" and leave if that's his choice....and let you stay in your home!

    Terri I'm so sorry to hear about your Father.....

    And I do have a diagnosis for my weight problem, I just have so many other problems as well that interfere. Pancreatic Enzyme Insufficiency, so no nutrients from food. Theoretically I can eat anything I want, as much as I want and never gain weight.....odd isn't it? But I need to figure out how to stop losing weight again.

    Ugh, I forgot to take my nightly pills last night until 11:00....I always take them before 7:30 so I'm asleep before 9:00. That's going to make today a lot more difficult for me.

    Just one more thing....none of us have been on here lately on a regular basis with so much going on, but I'm so glad we can circle our wagons and be there for each other during these difficult times. It's like we're coming out of the woodwork to be there for each other and it's comforting.

    Hugs all,

  8. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    Hello all,

    Terri, I'm sorry for the loss of your father. It's tough to lose a parent. Even with the knowledge that they're in a better place and no longer suffering, it can still be heartbreaking. My own parents died within a year of each other 25+ years ago and I still miss them, sometimes terribly. Take care.

    Nancy, I know what you mean about getting off schedule with your pills and how that can throw you off the next day. We must be living parallel lives because I fell to sleep last night without taking my nighttime pills. I took them as soon as I woke up 7 a.m. then took my morning pills at noon. Of course, I've been feeling discombobulated all day until now. It's almost dinnertime and I'm beginning to feel back normal.

    Thankfully, I had no appointments or responsibilities today so I've been able to sit around in my p.j.'s and read while my body chemistry got back in line. Using narcotics and other such medications, if get too far off schedule I can suffer terrible withdrawal symptoms so I was fortunate to catch the mistake early in the a.m. and prevent the worse of it.

    I also appreciate the way we're able to support each other during difficult times. This thread means the world to me. It helps me move forward through good days and bad. In addition to the friendship, empathy and support, just the simple act of writing a to-do list, a few small and ordinary tasks where I can focus my attention, helps me beyond measure. Thanks, friends.

    To Do Today

    put laundry away
    make bed
    clean kitchen
    swish washroom
    water plants

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa
  9. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Hi, Girls:

    We sure have all been weathering a lot of storms, haven't we? I was really floored when I read Anne Theresa's post!

    As for myself, I am getting better every day, but still have pain in my arms, which I am hopeful will go eventually go away, although it is better. I just have to pace myself. I am hopeful it isn't FMS, which would mean it is permanent. I have decided to try and stay calm about it and get back into my normal life again. And, no I don't feel suicidal anymore. Just tired and still a little weak. I lost 15 pounds throughout this whole ordeal.

    There is a part-time secretarial job opening at the high school here in my small town and I have applied for it. I dropped off my resume, cover letter and letters of recommendation today. The hours are perfect, with part of the summer off (two and a half months, versus three months that I had before), six hours a day with the prospect of working more hours sometimes like I had before and it's only five minutes from our house! It sounds like quite a variety of duties, which I could hopefully handle. But I have decided that with life, nothing ventured is nothing gained. The worst that could happen is that I get the job and if I can't handle it, then I would have to quit. But then that would look good for me in filing for disability. But I am going to go into this with an open and positive mind. I have all the qualificiations they are looking for, except I am a little weak in the qualifications for Excel. But after being sick for so long, it's time to start living again. It would have been nice if this job had come along a little later to give me more time to rest up from my ordeal, but that's life. Of course I don't know if I will get the job or not, but I do feel I have a good chance at it. I will be surprised if I don't get a call for an interview.

    Anne Theresa: I can't tell you how sorry I felt when I read your post today. My heart just dropped. The two of you have always sounded so happy together. Does he give any indication that there is another woman involved? I wish I could wrap my arms around you and console you. I can't imagine how I would feel if Harry should ever say he doesn't love me anymore! Please feel free to talk about anything that's on your mind here! We want to help you in any way we can!

    Nancy: Thanks for the kind words. What kind of surgery is Katy having if you don't mind saying? It sounds like she will be layed up for awhile. I went to Jim's dr. appt. today and he is having more depression again so his dr. is putting him back on an anti-depressant-seroquel. Of course it does cause the weight problem, but he has put on some weight without being on it. I hate to think how much weight he will gain on it, but he needs to be on something. I thought he seemed to be doing okay, but this has just come up out of the blue.

    Molly: I am so sorry about skeeter. It is so hard when a pet is sick as they can't tell you how they are feeling. It's good that you do have pet insurance. How is Liam handling all this?

    Terri: So sorry to hear about your father's passing. All of us are certainly having a difficult time right now aren't we? It's a shame you weren't able to get there in time to talk to him one more time.

    Well, this is enough typing for me. I might not get back on here again until next week, but I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

  10. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Hi all,

    For some odd reason, I didn't picture my day today as it turned out. I thought I'd just be getting Katy from the hospital but after days of being so busy (weeks really) so many things had piled up and today ended up being the day I had to get them all done.

    She was released this morning, but her hospital is so close to mine where I needed another prescription for my enzymes, so we stopped there first. She had a prescription that had to be filled out in town so it made sense to stop there. But.....

    I was almost out of gas (that never happens to me, I don't let it) so we stopped on base, I got gas, she rented some movies. Then it made sense to stop at the bank and cash my checks from TriCare since I didn't know how much money I'd need to fill the prescriptions.

    So off to town to stop at the pharmacy....and we had lunch at our favorite restaurant (very little food in the house, haven't had time or energy to get any). The prescription wasn't going to be done for a few hours, they had to order the medications so we came home.

    I laid down for a bit, but we needed to get her Heperin shots for tonight so back out we went. But she wanted to stop on base and ask for a sling for her arm, it was painful when she's sitting still and we found out they only prescribed her Motrin for the pain so we also got her a prescription for Tylenol 3's on base and filled that.

    So back out in town to finish and pick up her prescriptions and mine. For me, luckily I caught my doctor sitting still so he gave me a prescription for 3 months worth of enzymes instead of 30 days this time....small blessings are wonderful.

    But she's been sick to her stomach, vomiting now and something tells me there might be an emergency room visit in our future.

    Oh and my husband is going to find out soon if they're going to send him to Afghanistan (should know today or tomorrow)..........Yikes!!!

    Ellen that job sounds wonderful for you, I hope you get it. If it's meant to be you will.

    Sorry to hear about Jim...is he taking regular Seroquel or the extended release tablets? Katy's not gaining weight on the XR pills, in fact she's lost at least 35 pounds since she got out of the hospital last time.

    So sorry not to mention everyone this time, I'm just purely exhausted. We never get this much done on a good day....it's horrible that we had to do it all today. I kept offering to bring her home, she kept refusing.

    Hugs all,

  11. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    So tired today....I did have to take Katy to the ER last night. She couldn't stop vomiting and the other end was acting up as well.

    So we went back to the floor she was on in the hospital but they couldn't help her. We ended up in the ER at the same hospital and they let us wait and wait.

    My husband was busy (very) at work but showed up as I knew he would. I sat with them until 7:30 when my body just started hitting a wall and I knew I just had to go home and lay down. It was pouring rain by then and all I wanted to do was come home safely.

    They stayed there until 10:00 when they sent them to another hospital that works more with stomachs. They dx her as having a stomach infection (bug I guess) gave her meds then finally sent them home around midnight.

    So we're all painfully tired today and hopefully Katy and I can just rest all day. Grocery shopping can just wait until this weekend.

    Hugs all,


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