What's on your To Do list Dec 27 - Jan 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AnneTheresa, Dec 26, 2010.

  1. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    Hello all,

    My New Year's Resolutions relate to dollars and calories but most importantly I'd also like to re-address my pain management issues. This past year, I've experienced a sharp increase in my day-to-day physical pain. Without increasing my pain medication (or as a last resort) I'd like to explore ways to bring my pain down to a more manageable level. Increased exercise. Rehab. chronic pain groups, whatever I can find.

    What about you? Any new year's resolutions to share?

    To Do List

    tidy apartment
    grocery shopping with sister
    out to dinner (friend's b-day)

    God bless
    Anne Theresa
  2. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Hi, Girls:

    I'm at the library right now, but recently my husband discovered that we can get the Internet at home through our new neighbors across the street and down one house. I wouldn't have thought we could pick up a signal from that far, and I do feel a little funny using their Internet for free, but I guess it really isn't affecting them in any way. I know it's them, because I introduced myself to them and the wife's name is Amanda and that's the name of the site we pick up the Internet on. However, the signal we get is usually poor (only once in awhile it says "good") so we can lose the connection at any time. We really can't afford buying the Internet ourselves, especially since we have lost my income now.

    Harry's behavior has improved for the most part. He's not calling me names like he was. But there are times when he does get verbally abusive in that he will accuse me of things. He gets mad when I attend my weekly meetings at the women's shelter.

    He did admit to me that when he insisted on just seeing on man counselor, he only did that because he was sure I wouldn't go for that and that would be a way for him to get out of the counseling. Of course I threw a wretch into that scheme of his when I decided seeing a male counselor and a female counselor (couples counseling) would be a good idea. He hadn't planned on that. Of course he didn't want to do couples counseling, but I then said that I would see the couple alone then. He didn't want me to do that as he said that that would be so expensive. He decided at the last minute that he would go, but for the first two sessions we would each meet separately with each counselor in a separate room. So I saw the female counselor in one room and he saw the male counselor in another room.

    He still didn't like this as he didn't like paying $50.00 each Saturday for counseling ($25 per counselor). I don't think it's that expensive, especially when you are talking about our relationship, our marriage and our lives! He told the male counselor (not in a very clear way I found out later) that he didn't want to see him again and wanted to just see the female counselor. The male counselor thought he meant that he didn't want to come back at all.
    Then Harry changed his mind (without telling anyone) that he would see the male counselor so when we returned the next Saturday, the male counselor already had another client in Harry's time slot. Harry asked if he could meet with the female counselor along with me, but she told him "no". She said that this is not the way they do the couples counseling. So my husband went to the library while I had my session.

    The previous week, the male counselor had poked his head in the door when I was in my session and said he didn't think Harry would be coming back for therapy. I was so disappointed, but when I got out and when Harry didn't say anything, I thought maybe he had changed his mind. By Thursday of the following week, he asked if we were going to therapy since I hadn't written it on the calendar. So I thought then that he had scheduled his appt. with the male counselor.

    Of course with the holidays being on saturdays this year, we have gone a long stretch without a session. Our next appt. is on January 8th. I had to talk the counselors into giving us another appt. as a couple as they don't think Harry is that serious about the counseling. One good thing is that my husband told me that the male counselor told my husband to stop drinking (as this can affect your mood) and he hasn't bought any more alcohol. So this is encouraging that he listened to him on the first appt. The male counselor felt that for the number of nights that he was home (he's a truck driver and some nights he's gone) that he is drinking too much on the nights he's home.

    Sorry this is so long. For those who missed my other message, my husband has been verbally abusing me for years.

    My brother spent two nights over Christmas. This was my husband's idea as he felt bad about what happened at Thanksgiving (another long story) and he wanted to make amends to me and to my brother. My husband also gave me a Christmas card on Christmas Day, which really said a lot. It was like he was saying he was sorry. But I have to be careful. The woman who run the support group at the shelter says men like my husband are manipulative and I can see that. So I am cautiously optimistic.

    My husband has this week off and so far so good.

    Anne Theresa: I am so sorry you are having more pain. I am right now, too. It is in my right arm and upper back. Do you have a pool near you? Of course the water probably isn't warm enough for those of us with FMS. I am so fortunate to have Carter Rehab Center just 5 minutes from my house. You have to have health problems to go there. They also have exercise equipment and physical therapists there. They keep the water temp. at 94 degrees. The swimming really helps me.

    As for New Year's resolutions, I just want to continue working on my marriage. Of course I am only half of the equation here, but he is showing signs of wanting to work on our relationship, but right now I don't feel like I can totally trust him.

    But, like you said, at least he is making some effort, unlike Dave. That must have been such a blow for you. I can only imagine the terrible hurt you have suffered and are still suffering. But you are a strong lady and are making progress. I think it helps that you are not living alone. Of course your sister cannot replace a man, but being alone is so hard. I am telling myself to take this one day at a time. I cannot control what is going to happen six months or a year from now, but I can today so that is what I will concentrate on. And I will try and be positive that 2011 will be a better year.

    In case I don't get back on here before then, Happy New Year everyone!

  3. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    It's almost New Year's! Wow, I am getting old, as it seems that summer was just yesterday.....

    Sorry to hear your pain levels are up. Cold weather must be a trigger. I don't have fibro, but I have friends that do (including you guys!) and it does not sound like a fun thing to live with. I commend you for all that you do and that you keep trying.

    We had a nice, quiet Christmas. Our son could not come home (first Christmas away) as he is working on immigration papers to Canada. They are in the office now, and that means that it would be chancey for him to cross the border. They might not let him back into Canada. He and his new wife are caregivers for her grandma, who has Alzheimers. It is a job "in family" so we know that they aren't starving!

    I am enjoying some time off from teaching and subbing. Too much food, and I have been eating some gluten, which is affecting my RLS. I definitely see the connection and I'm going to stop cheating on my diet. With the increase of gluten, my weight is increasing as well, so I have two good reasons to cut it out.

    New Year's will be quiet for us...we may go to my MIL's retirement place to watch fireworks, as she has a great view!
  4. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    Hello all,

    Ellen, thanks for the update. I think your new year's resolution is a good one! I'm sorry your pain has increased and I hope you find some relief soon. Take good care.

    Terri, It's great that you've seen such a clear connection between your diet and RLS symptoms. Your experience has inspired me to learn more about this way of eating.

    To-Do Today

    clean washrooms
    fold & put away laundry
    shower & shampoo
    cut up vegetables for snacks
    make grocery list
    go to pharmacy

    That's a fairly ambitious list, it may take more than one day for me to get through it all.

    God bless, Happy New Year!
  5. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    Hello all,

    My sister couldn't stay awake until midnight to see in the new year. I managed to stay awake and watch the countdown on television but then I fell asleep shortly afterward.

    Now, a few hours later, I'm up, tidying the apartment, checking email etc. I seldom sleep for more than 2 or 3 hours at a time - except for those rare occasions when I sleep around the clock and have trouble rousing myself. From one extreme to the other, that's me.

    Every so often I've made concentrated efforts to normalize my sleeping patterns, but at the present time I'm experimenting with giving myself what my body wants in the moment. I eat when my body tells me I'm hungry, sleep when my body tells me I'm tired. My body has been telling me when I need to stretch my muscles or go for a walk or go out for some fresh air and as far as I'm able I've been attending to these needs as they arise. With no childcare or workplace responsibilities, I've found this to be an interesting way to live.

    However, I know that a solid night's sleep is imperative for pain management so I'll need to address my sleep schedule as a means to address my pain. A good night's sleep is my goal.

    To Do Today

    Sleep and/or watch television until 8 or 10
    finish grocery list and menu planning
    finalize plans for family visit & holiday celebration
    water plants
    watch movie
    make something nice for dinner

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa

  6. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Hi Girls:

    Now I will attempt to redo the message I did last night that didn't get on here. Just as I hit, "submit" I lost my Internet connection. Another two seconds and it would have got on here! Then we didn't have the Internet the rest of the night. Of course we are using our neighbor's connection so we can't complain. We just can't afford to buy the Internet ourselves.

    My husband, Harry, has had this week off from work and it has gone okay. Our oldest nephew (on his side) is home from college and we haven't seen him since August. We took him and his brother out for lunch on Thursday. These boys have mainly eaten at McDonald's their whole lives, so it was quite a treat for them to eat at Lone Star Steak House. We don't have this restaurant in our small town, but went to another town a little bigger 15 minutes down the road. We were at this restaurant last summer just a week before this town had a tornado last summer and this restaurant was closed for some time after the tornado. What a mess the town was, but fortunately no loss of life. It happened in the middle of the night, but no one was given a tornado warning, including ourselves. There was a lot in the news about that. Hopefully that doesn't happen again.

    We went to Harry's sister and her significant other's house last night for New Year's. They have been having my husband's family over for New Year's the past several years. Plus Randy (the significant other) also has his parents over. They have a tv, jute box, pinball machine, pool table, plus some other games in their basement so that's where the party is. We also played some other games, which was fun.

    We had Harry's parents over for dinner today. My brother, Jim, is still staying at my sister's house, so he came over for dinner, too.

    Anne Theresa: My right arm and hand is doing better, except today I am having a little more pain because I was playing the pinball machine last night. I knew I would pay the price today, but I really love to play on that machine. It keeps score and it's so fun to play on, I figured it was worth it once a year! I'm sorry you struggle so much with pain. You have been through so much. I hope this new year will be a better one for you.

    Terri: I am so sorry your son couldn't come home for the holidays. Maybe he can come home in January?


    Take down some of inside Christmas decorations
    Take down outside lights (it's still supposed to be fairly warm tomorrow)
    Finish cleaning up kitchen
    Go see a movie in the afternoon

    Speaking of movies, does anyone remember the old show back in the early 60's called "The Twilight Zone"? They have had a marathon on TV yesterday and today and both Harry and I have been watching it quite a bit the last two days. Of course I was pretty young in the early 60's, but I remember watching it with my mother as reruns in the 1980's.

    I hope this is the start of a good year for everyone here.