when is suicide right? who feels that it it would solve everything?

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by DeppGRL, Apr 5, 2010.

  1. DeppGRL

    DeppGRL New Member

    ive been having suidial thoughts; but its like it wont only help me...anyone feel like this
  2. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    This a tricky discussion. Yes, there have been times that I've thought that I would be better off dead. However, I have never pursued it beyond that thought. What I'm really feeling at those times is that I want the pain (physical and mental) to stop.

    But, then I think about my kids. Even though they are grown up (27 and 31) I know that they wouldn't be able to deal with it. Just as I (at age 55) wouldn't be able to deal with it if weight or my parents killed themselves.

    My son's best friend committed suicide 4 years ago. He was like a second son to me. I still think about him and cry sometimes. He had had such a bright future and then began using drugs. My son felt as though his friend had just given up and actually was angry at him for killing himself. He saw it as a selfish act. And, after seeing this boy's parents and brother at the funeral, I tend to agree with him.

    As to your question - I believe that suicide is never "right." I understand why someone might THINK that it is, but I just don't think that it is.

    If you are the person having those thoughts, try to find someone you can talk to. Someone who can just listen to you without being judgmental. For me, just being able to say how I feel, without someone saying back to me, "Oh, how could you feel that way?" is a big help. I am lucky that my husband is a good listener and does not judge me.

    If you are the person having those thoughts.....I wish you only better times ahead. And, I hope that you can find someone who will isten to you. If it is someone you know who is having these thoughts - try to be a good listener and supporter.

    Good luck.
  3. Nanie46

    Nanie46 Moderator


    I am sorry that you are feeling so ill that you are having suicidal thoughts.

    I have experienced a huge amount of pain and I understand why people can start to think that way, but I would never do it.

    I do not believe that it is right for us to take our own life. God wants you to live and He loves you. You are precious to Him.

    I also think that people who are serious about taking their own life are usually depressed and not able to think clearly about who it will totally devastate and why you wouldn't want to do that to them.

    Do you have children? or a spouse? or nieces, or nephews, or parents, or a brother or sister? They would never recover from such a devastating loss. You may think that you are a burden to them, but your loss would be sooooo much worse.

    Many people with chronic illness understand what you are feeling though.

    I seriously urge you to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 anytime that you are feeling suicidal.

    There are people there who will listen to you and help you.

    I also urge you to immediately get in touch with a pastor/priest/rabbi who can visit you and give you hope and encouragement. Everyone needs hope.

    Do you have a counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist? If not, please get an appt with one as soon as possible. You need the support of someone well trained.

    Are you on an antidepressant med? If so, it is not working well enough and you must call your psych Dr and tell him you are suicidal and need help now.

    If you don't have antidepressant meds, please contact your Dr or psych Dr immediately and tell him you are depressed and suicidal and need help now.

    I had little hope of recovery until one year ago (sick 22 years) when I became more ill and went on a quest to find the cause of my fibromyalgia. I found the cause on my own (a chronic borrelia burgdorferi infection....lyme) and now I am seeing a Lyme literate MD and getting better!!

    I never thought that would happen!! If I had ended my life, I never would have had the chance to find the cause, get treated, get better, and to help others who may not know they have lyme.

    We all have a purpose...including you!

    Please take the steps above to get the help you need, and come back and tell us what you have done and how you are doing.........please.

    Praying for you!!!
  4. stick2013

    stick2013 Member

    I hope that my reply won't start a huge argument, but I take a different stance on this......So the majority of people believe that suicide is not an option, but I feel it's a personal decision, and a choice that a person should be able to make on their own.

    People say it's a selfish act, and that we leave loved ones behind. I believe that it takes courage to take your own life, and while we do leave loved ones behind, we know this. It isn't an easy decision.

    I live with suicidal ideation 24/7 having PTSD. I have been in therapy on and off for 40 years, and I still struggle daily with suicidal thoughts. I have attempted it 8 times in my life, and will most likely end my own life one day. Yes, I have a family, and I know the pain that this act would cause them, but my pain has to come into this equation also......Selfish??? Maybe, but in the end, it will be my choice alone.....

    Do I feel this is ok for everyone that deals with depression??? I don't know, as I am not in their shoes, but I do have the empathy to understand WHY someone would take their own life.....
  5. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Suicide is not right and is not a solution. It is not a "choice" but an bad solution your mixed up brain has put out as an answer, when it does not have the ability to analyze all the other options you have available. Actually it is a very cowardly act where you run away from your problems and then place your problems on all your family, loved ones and friends.

    Suicide is never a good choice because it so negatively impacts everyone around you--it impacts people you work with, neighbors that you never suspected really liked you, children that may have known you in the neighborhood and thought you were "cool." But it horribly impacts family, loved ones and friends. They forever live with guilt that "what if" they had only done this you may have survived, or they may feel guilt that something they did pushed you to do it.

    Worst is when the loved one finds you dead and has to identify you for police--that image is the worst horror and sticks in their mind FOREVER and it is PURE TORTURE. Do you have any idea how bad that is? Get to the groups online that are the family survivors of suicide and learn what it does to the survivors. Dead bodies have fluids that expel too. It's not like in the romantic movies. Your family/friends have to clean up our your apartment and go through and dispose of your furniture and belongings, sometimes with a landlord pushing them to get everything out so he can clean and rent out the place to someone else. It really pushes the family, loved ones and friends right over the edge and they may never be the same again.

    It's absolutely no picnic for the survivors and you force them to do something they never ever wanted to do. If you gave them the option of you dying and them going through this torture and handling your affairs and cleaning up all of your stuff OR having you live and them not having to undergo the torture---they'll overwhelmingly all say they want you to live.

    I've been having suicidal thoughts and the therapist has me in intensive therapy with him. If it continues, we have planned I will go into a hospital daily outpatient program that runs for a week or two weeks that helps people with suicidal thoughts. So don't ever think that suicidal thoughts or suicidal is normal, okay, or that it is a choice. It is not a choice, but a sign that you need help so reach out and get professional help.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/07/2010]
  6. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Some parents slowly drift apart and may divorce after a suicide of a son/daughter because the pain is so fierce and neither party can help the relationship from drifting apart. It sometimes happens and that's something else to think about.

    I also forgot to mention. If you think that suicide will stop debt and debt collectors, think again. They begin to go after your loved ones wanting them to pay your debts and you know how relentless and heartless some collectors can be. So you really wouldn't be stopping them, only turning the collectors loose on your loved ones during a time when they are weak and grieving over you. Sure, your relatives aren't responsible for your debts (unless they co-signed a loan with you or you had things of value after death that could have paid off some or all of that debt and only an attorney would be able to tell your relatives for sure). But your relatives would be left dealing with the vultures and left holding any co-signed loan they so kindly did to help you.

  7. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Suicidal feelings are a warning that help is needed.

    The pain you a person feels that makes them want to commit suicide is only transferred TENFOLD to those that are left behind. So if you think your pain is unbearable, think of how bad it will be for those you leave behind.

    The problem is that when you feel that low, you often don't think clearly, so you have to be aware enough to seek some help.

    I've seen it too close. I have a good friend whose husband committed suicide with basically no outward warning. ABSOLUTELY devastating to her and their two children left behind. If he had been thinking clearly and realized the true impact that his actions would have he never would have done that to his wife and children. Never. He needed to get some help.

    I am one that believes that it is incredibly selfish. It's selfish because you don't think about what it does to others, who are left to clean up the rest of your life, their lives. The problem is - when you're in that position, you dont care if it's selfish or not.