when it feels like it's too much

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kjfe, Apr 6, 2009.

  1. kjfe

    kjfe New Member

    Just when I feel like I'm strong and can overcome worries, fear, doubt, and feelings of inadequacy it seems like I'm pushed just a little bit further than I believe I'm able to bear.

    When I feel like I have some of my negative worries in check and I'm focusing on the positive there is something more added to my situation that screams at me telling me I'm too weak to go on.

    There's part of me that wonders why the fatigue has to be so powerful when I'm fighting as hard as I can to find peace and stay steady.

    I'm grateful for so much in my life. I count my blessings every day.

    Sometimes it just feels like no matter what I do it isn't enough to make me better - emotionally, physically, and mentally.

    I keep praying. It's the only thing that keeps me from completely letting go.

    I'm trying to keep my feelings of purpose and strength and "I can deal with this" attitude hanging around longer. They seem to vanish at the rate the fatigue increases. Any suggestions?

    When you feel like it's just too much and you're too tired to deal with the pain, but it won't let go, what are you thinking to keep you strong?

  2. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    How long have you had FM? I was diagnosed about 5 years ago and I have MAJOR trouble keeping upbeat anymore. You sound like a strong woman - I could use your strength.

    I think with your attitude, focusing on helping others, like myself, adjust their attitudes would be a great start when you are feeling bad.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/06/2009]
  3. spacee

    spacee Member

    expresses so much of what this DD is about.

    You don't say your age or your family situation. I have had this DD for 23 years and have been through h*ll but now I am 59, the kids are grown (well not in this state) and so I can structure my day to a pretty strict routine. If I stay on the routine, I will have bad hours but I can count on some good ones too.

    I don't have friends in real life. (email CFS friends). I have noticed that when I run a errand, I will often have a very pleasant conversation with someone of any age, race or sex. I consider those my "friends". Do I wish I could have real life friends, yes. Do I get down about it at times? Yes.

    I do rent nexflix movies because I can't read books. For about 6 years in the middle of this, I could but now I can't. So the movies help me.

    Maybe you still work. So structuring your life is impossible. The years when the kids were at home were like that. Whew! Hard, Hard years. Now it is better.

    There is talk on uTube about treatments coming.... hold on to hope.

    Wish I could be of more help.

  4. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I just don't see how things will ever get better in my life. There's always something that knocks me back down, I can never escape.

    I logged on to make my own post similar to yours, I really need support right now too. Just know you're not alone, this is the place to be when you're feeling low. I won't hijack your thread, maybe I'll see you over on mine.

    Find something to distract yourself from the daily grind and take good care of yourself.

    xxxooo Hermit
  5. louiesgirl2

    louiesgirl2 New Member

    Starting to read M. J. Ryan's Attitudes of Gratitude
    Need all the help I can get
    Depression try to settle in
    Need to remind myself of what I am thankful for on a daily basis
    Lately it is feeling lit it is just more than I can handle
    Wish I could find another support group locally to join
    This site is great believe me, however, sometimes you wish you could do some face to face time.
  6. kjfe

    kjfe New Member

    This will probably be buried in the next day or two. A lot of traffic on this site. And, that's okay!

    Thank you for your responses. I've had CFS for over ten years. I'm 49 years old. I had a pretty good day today, comparatively speaking, until later in the afternoon when the fatigue, body ache, weak/sickly feeling gathered into a pretty big storm and I still felt like I had to "perform" for the family (so to speak). The good thing is that most of you know what I mean when I say that so I don't have to try to find exactly the right words.

    I feel like I need a break. Some people can just get away and take a break from everything, but for those of us whose illness goes with us wherever we go it is pretty much impossible to take a break. I am relieved for any moment of respite, however brief it may be, but sometimes (okay, most of the time) I feel like I need everything to stop.

    It is so nice to have a place to come where I can vent and even complain a little bit. Tonight I finally told my family I had a really bad headache and "felt like crap" (which is pretty strong language for me - only use it when I'm really tired so they know I mean it). I just wanted to scream and cry because it's so frustrating to have to tell people when I feel really sick, but I was too tired to scream and cry. I feel sick most of the time and never say anything, so it's frustrating to have to remind people and then I feel like I'm whining, etc. At least people here understand.

    I'm putting a notebook together of things that help me a little bit, in terms of trying to stay more focused on the good things rather than letting the negative spiral out of control. I might share some of my ideas on a different post. I'm putting together a workshop on self-esteem, stress, and depression for the women at my church. I guess it's true, "we teach what we most need to learn." (I'm a sociologist. I say that, but I don't actually have a job where I get paid to be one - just degrees and some teaching experience in the past and a 30 year mind set for the subject.)

    thank you.
  7. quanked

    quanked Member

    Sometimes, for me, things are just what they are. I stay still with myself and accept that my life is not much of a life, that I do not get to do or even be what I want. I try hard not to place values of good, useful, bad, lazy or useless on how much I can produce in a day. Some days this is easier to do than others. I usually give my all no matter how little it may be.

    Today, I drove to a town about 75 miles away. I shopped at 3 stores for things I needed. Before I was done at the 2nd store I knew I was ready to go home. I was so exhausted that I could hardly walk through the 3rd store. Thank the heavens for carts to lean on.

    I have many things I want to do before the week is out. I probably will only get a small fraction of work done. It just is the way it is. I can no longer push myself to do what my body and mind refuse to do. Those days are long gone. I continue to grieve.

    Right now I am being as kind and gentle to myself as I can. I do not have the energy to harangue myself for not being more than I can be. I tell myself it is okay. Simultaneously, I hope each day that I will get a string of “good days” soon so I can sort of get caught up. Of course, I never really do get caught up because there have been too many down times over the years. But I do practice a bit of denial now and then--it sometimes gets me through to the next day.

    When I have to stay strong or appear strong I use distraction a lot. I allow certain things to distract me when I can so I am no so focused on how bad I feel. This works sometimes. And sometimes, I just have to remove myself to my room and rest. And sometimes I just become this over-stressed, agitated, scared and difficult to-get-along-with woman that needs a time out. Then I start all over again.

    Yesterday I was outside in the sun watching my son and husband doing some things in the yard. They were teasing each other, we were all engaged in light funny banter, my 3 beloved dogs were in the background and the moment, for me, went into slow motion and I savored every second--the warm air, the clear blue sky, the smiles on their faces and mine, and the feeling that all was well in the world. It seemed that even the lounging dogs were smiling. It is these kinds of moments and times that get me through and keep me wanting more. For over half of my life I had none of these kinds of moments. Now that I have them, despite my suffering, I cannot imagine giving them up willingly. For these moments I can stop grieving.
  8. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    I say, when it feels like too much, it is too much. This begs the question, what can be done
    about it. The answer most of the time seems to be, not much.

    Have you tried taking a break on the Chit chat board? It's pretty much the only social life I have left.
    Good place to talk about pets, kids, music, old times, books, etc.

    If you can get my profile to open, you can read various modalities I've tried over the last
    3 decades. See if there is anything you want to try. Vitamin D3 and the B12 patch have helped
    lessen my depression during the last year and a half.

    I don't know anything about your family situation, age of children, etc. Could you arrange a Time Out
    in the middle of the afternoon where you nap, take a bubble bath, read, etc. "Do not knock on
    my door unless the house is on fire."

    The 12 step program Emotions Anonymous has helped me. It is both therapeutic and a social

    Good luck.