When it rains it POURS

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kat211, Mar 7, 2010.

  1. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I was having a fantastic week as far as flares and fibro pain go and I had enough energy to get me through the day w/out a nap. I even took my giant dogs to the dog park every day and walked for at least 45 minutes each day! It was going great, as far as my health goes. I kicked out my son's dad about 3 hours ago. Now, I am a single mother, again, with a seven year old, 3 dogs (one only 8 weeks old), 2 cats, a house that has mold and I am suing to get fixed, no job, going to grad school, dealign with fibro/cfids and a closed head injury, and no family except my son. WAHOO! My ex and I were married, got divorced because of his lying and then got back together and were planning on getting married next month. He has been in therapy for almost 2 months to deal with his lying issues. This last week he has been a complete waste of space and has just followed me around like a scared little puppy or something. Every time I turned around, there he was just staring at me and trying to get into what ever I was doing. I felt like I had been rolled in spam and let free in a lion enclosure. Even when I had my headphones on and was doing my homework he just sat there staring at me and kept trying to talk to me, even after I told him I needed to be left alone so I could do finish my exam. The last straw was that he lied to me about something he did out of pure laziness and then lied to our son about why he did it and still tried to deny it. I have spent the last couple of hours trying to calm my son down and distract him by playing wii with him. Now my neck, arms, hands, back and feet feel like I have been beaten with a spiked club. I haven't cried, not sure I will, to be honest. He cried. He sobbed like a baby who just got his favorite toy taken away while he was trying to pack up his things. He kept saying he wasn't going to leave. I told him I was going to call the police and have him escorted out of my house if he didn't leave. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry." is all he could cry out. He wouldn't even look at his son when he said, 'dad, you have broken my heart. How could you keep lying to me and mom.' He wouldn't even talk to the kid. Of course my pain pills aren't working now that I really need them. I can't breakdown now. I have to be strong for my son. If anyone has any words of advice I wouldn't mind hearing them. I really don't have anyone to call. I do not talk to my own family because they are violent abusive drunks and I don't have any real close friends because of being sick and unable to really participate in life as much as I used to. His mom called me a couple of minutes after he called her to see if he could stay there. She said she didn't want our relationship to be affected by this. Sometimes I feel like I might be cursed. Ok, enough rambling. I'm going to make an ice cream sundae for the kid.
  2. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    I don't know what to say. While I had a rather ugly first marriage - at least the last couple of years (also lying involved) - I was at least healthy at the time and could, sort of, deal with things. I just can't imagine what you are going through.

    However, a few weeks ago I was having a real tough time (finances, health, etc) and vented on the chit-chat board. Those very wonderful people gave me lots of good advice. Since you're not working and going to school, if finances will be a problem, go to your local social services office and request assistance. Perhaps the "counseling" office where you're going to school could help out.

    I hope others read your post and can offer other suggestions. Keep us updated......we all really care, and most likely many of us have been in your shoes, to one extent or another.
  3. fallenstar1962

    fallenstar1962 New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear you and your son are going through this pain right now. I too split with my future hubby and it was so hard. He too was caught in many different lies and to top things off it turns out he's narcissistic (my opinion and my counselor). We were to be "married" last December on a Mediterranean cruise..I ended up going alone.

    I can tell you from some experience it's all worth it in the end. Not coming home to lies and then spending the rest of the day trying to prove it. Keep your chin up and keep returning here when you need a shoulder. I came here a few times and was very grateful for the kind and encouraging words.

    One day at a time..best advice I have is try to keep it simple..hot baths helped me a ton. Best of luck to you..your not alone. ~soft hugs~

  4. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I truly appreciate it. I just took my son to school and told his teacher that if he needs me I am only a couple of minutes away and I will be there right away. I don't think he will though. This morning he came out of his room with a big bag of money and told me it was from his piggy banks and he was going to donate to the people of Haiti. I almost started crying. Here his world is being rocked and he is thinking about others. I am so proud of him. He is such an amazing child.

    Today I am going to focus on packing up the ex's things that are in the house. I don't want him taking anything that isn't his.

    I am also going to focus on getting rid of anything I compromised on as far as decorating goes. My pretty floral bedroom is coming back. Screw the drab brown and blue. This will be my treat to myself for my birthday tomorrow. I think I might keep my son out of school tomorrow and take him to a hot springs pool and out to our favorite pizza place up in the mountains. They have gluten and dairy free pizza that is almost as good as we make at home. I'm not even going to worry about fitting my fat tookus into a swimsuit or how it looks. I'm gonna buy a new one in whatever size fits and I am going to wear it with pride (I will cut out the tag ;P ). I have lost 5 pounds this past week. I did it all on my own just by walking at the dog park and eating lots and lots of veggies and fruits.

    I am hurting pretty bad right now, but I am going to do whatever I can to make my house reflect my son and myself. I think I am going to find some tacks and hang his wonderful artwork all over the walls.

    (sorry for being wordy)
  5. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    Happy Birthday on Tuesday.

    Oh man......hot springs.............sounds wonderful. Let the warmth and the water "wash that man right out of your hair!!" (I think that's from the musical South Pacific)

    And tell that wonderful young man of yours that he gave you the best possible birthday present by thinking of others and giving his money to the people of Haiti. Sounds like, despite the things his dad has put in his head, YOU have done a wonderful job raising him. You should be proud of yourself.
  6. wendysj

    wendysj New Member

    Hi Kat211,

    I am very proud of the strength you are showing! You're so positive and turning things around for you and your son. You're even in pain while doing it. What an inspiration!

    My mom is a single mom... All single mom's with strength touch my heart.

    Your son sounds wonderful!!! If only all children could learn to be so selfless and giving.

    Happy Birthday!
  7. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    and wonderful words about my son. He is an amazing little guy. We were going to go out for breakfast, but he said I make the best pancakes in the world and batted his big blue eyes. Darn, I have made a point to make sure I don't do any housework at all on my birthday and now I have a sink full of dishes and a full washing machine because his new puppy peed on my while I was in bed. Oh, well. Alice Princess Professor Cuddlebuns (she has a phd in cuddling) is only 8 weeks old and cute as can be, can't be mad at that.

    I guess it is time to get off of the computer and get going.
  8. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I think it has been boiling right below the surface for the last week and just hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm not sure I can handle all of this on my own right now. Just thinking about my situation I can feel the pain creeping up my shoulders into my neck. I tried to do homework yesterday and this morning and I can't remember anything I have read. I am going to the Dr on Monday morning. I think I am going to ask her for aderall. I read that it helps with the fog. Not being able to remember anything or think straight is worse for me than the physical pain. I have always relied on my intellect to help me got through. Now I don't even have that to rely on. That, more than anything is what is the worst part of what I am going through. I just don't feel like I can rely on myself right now, and I am the only one my son and I have to rely on. I know if I can get some kind of help I can do it. I just got my grade for my last term and I received and A in a very difficult accounting class.

    I know I am rambling. I am sorry. I can't seem to get a clear thought out of my brain to my fingers and I am scared.