when people just don't understand!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MelanieThebirdlover, Feb 24, 2003.

  1. MelanieThebirdlover

    MelanieThebirdlover New Member

    I feel like screaming, crying, pulling my hair out, and going to run away from ev1! as i type this, my bf sits and watches me like a hawk! He just don't understand! Why give me a hard time about anything, if I find the computer to be theraputic, then let it help me, don't make me feel worse than I already feel by making little comments about this and that! It is upsetting enough, but to have someone constantly in your ear and over your shoulder, you just want peace and quiet and to be left alone! I feel bad that I can't enjoy things with him all the time, but dam I have this dd, why can't he understand??? Well, thanks for letting me vent..... I am just feeling so awful, I'm upset, I'm feeling very emotional all the time. I don't know what's going on! Thanks for listening.

    Melanie
  2. Mom2Two

    Mom2Two New Member

    Oh Melanie! ((((((HUGS)))))). I feel for you right now sweetie. My husband doesn't really get it. He thinks he does, but he doesn't. I want him to read everything I do so maybe he will understand all of my symptoms. He doesn't. He doesn't even know that much about FM. He doesn't seem interested to even learn about it. Is this normal? I guess we just need to give them time to understand and to adjust to our new needs and wants. You take care of you Melanie. You are the most important right now. At least in my opinion you are.
  3. lin21

    lin21 New Member

    Hi Melanie,

    I'm going through the same thing right now with my family. I could punch them all out at this point. My husband, who hasn't bothered to even attempt to learn anything about this DD, my mother, who is a pain in my butt and adds to my stress and my in-laws who pegged it has a mental illness.
    I wish I could just get on a plane and leave for a while, unfortunately I can't do that right now because I have a daughter who needs to go to school.
    I was just diagnosed in November and it's been hell since around Christmas. I have adjusted to living with my pain but I can't just sit hear and listen to all their complaints. It seems no matter how much or how little I do there is always someone there to criticize me.
    Maybe their the reason I came down with this damn DD.
  4. MelanieThebirdlover

    MelanieThebirdlover New Member

    Thank ev1 SO much for sharing. I just get so frustrated with everything going on, and people don't seem to care or realize, that they are making us feel worse. Like we don't know that we arent the same as we use to be? That every morning I wake up feeling like a mac truck hit me! And even after you explain, it still doesnt matter, they still give you a hard time. Well just venting some more.....may be one day they will, hopefully. Thanks for listening and sharing. I take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one having these problems with relationships. Take good care. Bye 4 now...

    Melanie
  5. KarenL47520

    KarenL47520 New Member

    seems to (I think) be accepting this better than I am, well I guess that makes sense, he is not the one living it. We did have a rough day of it last week. We had lots of snow here but under the snow we had 3 inches of ice. Our driveway is very steep and he couldn't get his car up the hill and had to park at the bottom and walk up it. He came in and was just fit to be tied. I asked him what was wrong and he said he was just totally fed up with everything, his job, his car which is not running right and needs to go into the gargage, this place where we live, he didn't come right out and say it but he mentioned something about me getting this new diagnosis, and a bunch of other stuff.

    We live way out in the country, John is a city boy, I was born and raised out in the country and it can be a lot harder than living in town. I had told him a year ago if it ever gets to be too much trying to take care of this place just tell me and we can sell it and move. (This is part of my late husband's family farm, but I own the property and can sell it anytime)

    I have abandonment issues and immediately figured he wanted out and was going to leave me. (I start thinking that every time we have a fight which thank goodness is not that often) But I went to him later and I told him, I am only gonna say this once and then let it go and from there, you decide what you want to do with it. I wouldn't care if I lived under a rock with you or in a tar-paper shack. I would be very grateful for whatever we had because it would mean that I was under that rock or in that tar-paper shack with you. As far as your job, go in do your 10 hours and then leave the dam place there. Life is a series of trade-offs, you go to work, do labor for them in exchange for money so we can have the luxeries like haveing the lights turned on, heat in the winter time and food on the table, and that also makes it possible for us to be together. And as far as me being sick, I am sorry, I never asked for any of this, in fact, I never asked to be abused as a kid but I was. It is a part of me just like this DD but life does go on. I then walked away crying, just sure in my mind that he was gonna leave. I guess he thought it over what I had said to him and within a few hours he had a whole different attitude. He knows that when I go to him and start out with "I am only gonna say this once" he knows the situation is serious and I mean business. So just maybe you need to make a little speech to your BF and either he gets it or he doesn't and if he can't offer you some support, maybe you don't need to be with him. After all, when we are having a flare and we can barely make from the bed to the bathroom and back, we need someone in our lives that we can count on. Except for that one rough day, John has been my rock and I don't know what I would do without him. Best of luck to you and God be with you in this difficult time.

    ((((Soft gentle hugs)))))))

    Karen