When young, taught not to scream

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by TwoCatDoctors, Jun 29, 2012.

  1. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    When us neighborhood kids were little, we were all taught not to scream when playing, when swimming in the creek, etc. Because if we were heard screaming, it was a signal there was an emergency and help was needed and all the adults would come running super fast.

    So we played and yelled to each other, but never screamed--except when that little boy was going really fast and fell over on his bike and got hurt. All adults came running immediately and carried the boy off and he went to the hospital.

    Now, I hear kids scream constantly. They scream playing in the pool, they scream playing at the playground, they scream getting in and out of their cars, they scream at the school bus stops. They constantly scream. If they screamed due to a bad stranger, it would be hard to tell.
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    thought of that, TwoCat. Good point

    I wonder if people would hear a kid today. The world is so noisy,
    and so many people are listening to loud music. I've even been
    "waited on" by clerks at gas stations and convenience stores who are
    busy chatting on the phone.

    They look annoyed if you try to talk to them.

    Regards to your doctors.

  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    But, it seems, no one is teaching children manners anymore. I was disappointed that those kids who bullied the grandmother monitor on the school bus were suspended from school for a year. They should have been suspended from riding the school bus for a year. Let their parents have to take them to school for a year so that they teach their kids about bullying. They did get community service with seniors. Oh boy, I'll bet those seniors dread having those little demons anywhere near.

    My condo is next to the pool in our community. I don't mind normal childhood noises from playing. Kids will yell a little bit but we've had some screaming, shreiking kids. The parents will even make the kids scream with their games. I've had to go down and ask them to keep it down and explain that this isn't a public pool and that the noise travels right into the condos. There are older and sick people living in them. So, it's no wonder that the kids have no limits; their parents either don't care, are clueless, or are passive/aggressive, using their kids to get back at everyone. These are always people who come in the summer when school is out and they are using grandma's condo.

    We have a "no swimming after dark" sign on the gate in big lettering. Even so, I have to go down and throw people out. I'm always nice about it and explain that the health dept. won't allow it because we don't have adequate lighting. Same with our insurance co. They always act so clueless and innocent. I want to scream, "Can't you read!"

    Sorry, didn't mean to vent. My kids didn't scream and neither does my GS. We've told him that grandma's pool doesn't allow loud screaming. When he was little, he told my kids that he thought it was really nice of Grandma Mikie to let other people use my pool. Oh, if only the other kids were like him.

    Love, Mikie
  4. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    That incident with the school bus monitor. I thought to myself, the adult school bus monitor was acting in the capacity of the school in the midst of a school activity (either going to school/or from school to home)--no normal kid would harass anyone connected with the school as that's common sense.

    With the horrific things they were saying, the bullies totally lacked any filters and boundaries. I did not listen to the entire video of them, but I heard enough to make me cringe and wonder where the bullies picked up or learned the ideas they expressed to that adult school bus monitor.

    If I were a parent of a young child in that school, I would not want my child anywhere near those bullies because there is something going on with those bullies that can speak those horrific ideas to an school adult. These bullies are not normal.

    Imagine what the bullies have been like to all the other kids and disabled kids/adults or developmentally challenged kids/adults that they came across. The regular kids won't speak up because the bullies are loose out on the streets.

    I'm hoping that somewhere Child Protective Services decides to eventually get involved to see their home life, check on their parents and continue checking on them at home. Maybe CPS can find out where the kids came up with the horrific things they said and get all the parents into parenting classes too.

  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    This is just a guess and I don't want to sound policially incorrect, but here goes. In many cities, they bus kids from disadvantaged areas to middle class area schools. My GS goes to school where these kids are bussed in. The busses have to make two trips, one for the kids living in the area and one for the disadvantaged kids. Because the teachers don't want the disadvantaged kids any longer than necessary, they get bussed in last and are the first to get bussed out. This means my GS must get to school early and doesn't get home til late.

    These kids from the disadvantaged areas are disruptive, without filters or boundaries, and have no respect for anyone. It's obvious that they live in a culture where no one is teaching them respect, manners or how to get along in life. My GS is paying the price because he's bored in school while they have to wait for the disruptions and "teach down" to the disadvantaged kids.

    It doesn't have to be like this. We have an older neghborhood in a very disadvantaged area. They formed a community organization to protect the kids in the school there. They got the courts to tear down a store which was a place for thugs to hang out and sell drugs. They got grants and have a Head Start Child Enrichment Center so the kids will be ready for school and know how to act. It's been so successful that they are raising money for a cultural center. I had clients there when I was in outside insurance sales. Whenever I made a call there, the people were so warm and the kids so sweet. I was always offered something to eat or drink, even dinner.

    On the other hand, we have another disadvantaged area where there have been a bunch of shootings and the gangs rule the roost. I feel for the older people living there who just want a safe place to live. They finally moved the schools to another area which is safer but the kids still live in a dangerous place. The cops are willing to patrol the area and work with residents but they are afraid of retaliation if they work with the cops. The last time a guy was killed, the cops asked why no one called 911. The answer was that they were so used to gunfire that no one thought anything about it. How does a child live and thrive in such a culture?

    These are the kinds of things which concern me about our country's future. These problems cannot be ignored but what a job to fix it. Oy!

    Love, Mikie
  6. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    When I was young, our report cards from school contained a "citizenship" section that mentioned our interaction with other kids and teachers, how we acted in the classroom, etc.

    ANY "low grade" on these "citizenship" section would have meant my Mom would have beaten me so bad. Plus, school to me was a great place to go and a refuge from an abusive Mom, so I liked and obeyed the teachers and teacher helpers and liked all the kids too.

    Plus my elementary school strongly enforced that all the kids got along and we didn't recognize disabilities, color, religion, country of birth, etc. I remember as an adult that my kindergarten teacher was African-American, our friend had leg braces because she had polio years before, and we had some friends that were somewhat developmentally challenged. None of it had any meaning to us kids and we just wanted to be together and have fun in school.

    When I was young, anyone that gave me a gift, I was expected by my Mom to immediately give them a heartfelt "thank you" and then to followup with a "thank you" note in the mail. Otherwise it would be another intensive beating from my Mom.

    But I have to admit that the "thank you" and the thank you note were good tools that I learned as a kid and kept up all through the years.

    I note on many of the reality shows, that they will have a kids/teen birthday party, and a gift will be given to the child and the child just stands there and says nothing. The mother will then say "well, what do you say?" And then the child says a bland "thank you."

    As to problems with school, in High School, they divided the entire 7th Grade class into rooms 701, 702 all the way through 709 or 710. It was based upon IQ and grades combined. The higher grade students and higher IQ were 701 and 702, and the lowest were in 709 and 710. The troublemakers wound up at the end level of the classes too. They did the same thing in 8th and 9th grade. Eventually the troublemakers transferred to Vocational School to learn a trade, instead of staying in high school or they were in a Juvenille Detention Facility until they would reach the age to go to Prison. Others would just drop out of school. That took care of many of the troublemakers and gang members.

    I don't know what the answer is for today's world, but there needs to be a fix for all schools.

    [This Message was Edited on 06/30/2012]
  7. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Is that money, more teachers, and innovating teaching methods cannot be effective if parents will not get engaged. Some parents just don't care and other are so busy just trying to stay afloat financially that they work all the time and are too tired to be involved. After-school enrichment programs can be a big help. Both my daughters worked in before- and after-school programs through the Y when they were in high school. Middle-class and upper-middle-class kids came in with donuts and sugary drinks for their breakfast. They had educated parents who should know better about nutrition.

    I agree that it takes a village. Unfortunately, our problems have been ongoing and it will be a huge undertaking to turn things around, if at all possible. Harlem in NYC has been a shining example of how it has been done. One thing I've noticed that all turnaround schools have in common is that the kids wear uniforms. This puts all the kids on an equal level, at least, in terms of dress. I think it also fosters comraderie and respect for one's school.

    Thanks for the discussion.

    Love, Mikie