Where are you, God??

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by craziC, Sep 19, 2004.

  1. craziC

    craziC New Member

    My eyes overflow with tears of pain. My body is in so much pain, I want this to end. I want to live my life again. I want freedom. But where can I find freedom? Does it even exist?

    Am I destined to live a live of agony. Will I forever have to wear this mask so others don't see. They don't want to see the truth anyway. Am I just crazy?

    The meds don't help, sleep doesn't help. What will save me? I want to give up. I want to close my eyes forever to escape my reality. Where are you God when I cry out? Where is your hand of mercy? Am I not good enough for you to save? For you to heal?

    What have I done? Why does this disease have to fall on me? I hate it! It is an evil demon that is destroying everything in my life. It's destroying me. I can't fight this forever. I try to envision my future - but it seems so dark. How much longer can I hold on?

    I cry out to you God! Why do you ignore me? I feel abandoned. I feel so alone. I'm in a dry desert with no water. Please Father help me.
  2. kathyrere

    kathyrere New Member

    i feel this way too. and i am trying hard to keep my faith up. today is a hard day.
    kathy
  3. grge

    grge New Member

    This makes three of us a 3 fold card is not easily broken.
    God hear our pleas. Let's join together asking that God will hear and speak to us.
    georgia
    [This Message was Edited on 09/20/2004]
  4. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Active Member

    pain again today. When we're in pain all seems hopeless but God is always there. I've been where you are so many times and asked the same questions. I will pray for you that God gives you answers and shows you the road to better health. Hang in there. I just wish I could reach out and pat your back and give you a little hug today and tell you that you're not alone and we all care. Take care, I'll be praying for you today.
  5. craziC

    craziC New Member

    Can't find the words to say. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness that I found this site and all of the support I so desperately need.

    All of you that responded helped me tremendously! I can't thank you enough for taking the time to respond. May God bless you for your kindness.

    I'm just in a pit right now. My flare started around Thursday because of the front moving in. The pressure here in Ohio changes so drastically sometimes. Then Friday it rained ALL day. I could barely move. It hasn't really gotten any better since. I decided to call my doc this afternoon to see when I can get in. Since my meds don't seem to be doing a whole lot for me.

    I'm also depressed. I recognize it but I feel lost. Especially with my hubby issues on top of this DD. I know that I'll make it through this - thanks to your support.

    Sorry this became so long I just can't thank you all enough.

    Hugs,
    Cherbear
  6. craziC

    craziC New Member

    Thanks for replying. I like your theory that God is testing others NOT us. Hmmmm something to think about. I guess just feel like I've been through enough in my 28 years. I've been through so much I should be 90 by now.

    I was raped when I was 18, ended up in the hospital (psych unit)when I was 19 for 2 weeks(actually had my 20th b-day in the hospital), then while in the hospital became obsessed with my weight - hence the anorexia/bolemia. When I got home from hospital I wouldn't leave my room. Agoraphobia set in. Had a not so good family life, in fact I don't speak to them anymore. Been in 3 car accidents and now this darn DD. I've learned to never ask "what's next?".

    Hugs,
    Crazi
  7. jill5050

    jill5050 New Member

    Awww....Cheri, I've been there and I pray never to be there again. We all understand here, and really can feel for you.Please know that God will lift you up. He can work for you either spritually, physically, or both. He will make you stronger.

    He hasn't deserted you. He is there waiting for you to call out. His will if often difficult to understand when you are in the middle of trauma.

    I think we are all in very delicate balance, that when something else comes along (like an extra problem, or the hubby thing) on top of everything else- we just crash.

    That happened to me about a week or so ago. I was doing well, and one extra thing came along- and boom- couldn't take it!

    We are all just barely balancing- we will learn over time to regulate everything better- I know it!

    I Peter 5:6-7
    Humble yourselves therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

    I Peter 10
    And the God of all grace, who called you to eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

    See, in God's time we are on Earth for a tiny shread of time. We don't see it that way now, with long days of pain and nights of wakefullness. Please try to keep the faith- I'll be praying for you!

    Check back in with us...we care!
    Blessings,
    Carlie
  8. cinnabarsib

    cinnabarsib New Member

    and sometimes still am~was gang raped at a young age,almost died having my 1 son(Had to have a C-section)what a blesssing!,held at gunpoint in my home & raped, almost died from 18 ft. fall from x-hubby~so much more~I`m 54 now and I still get where you are and I understand~I will pray for you dear one~please believe in the power of prayer and that God is with you always~sib
  9. bakron

    bakron New Member

    God never leaves you, sometimes our emotions and feelings just make us feel that He does. He's carrying you right now. You are in many of our thoughts and prayers.

    I understand as do many of the others what you are experiencing. Life isn't easy. Even if some people seem to "breeze" through life without problems, they really aren't exempt.

    You have had so much to bear in your short life of 28 years! I understand well some of what you have experienced. I'm 57 now, and from my experience, I can tell you that God will take you through all these "things" that you have addressed. In the end, you will be stronger and maybe able to help others in the situations that you have been in. I can't say why God gives us life's trials, but I can say that He is there every inch of the way to bring you through to a side that you just can't see right now. Hold on to that hope!

    Love and prayers in Christ, Jeannette
  10. craziC

    craziC New Member

    Thank you all for the wonderful replies. It's just when the pain is unbearable my mind just screams out. This flare is really the worst one yet. Everything feels like it's burning. The spasms come and go.

    I just want to sleep. I'm so tired but I can't. I have to go to work! Oh, retirement come quickly! LOL

    Love and Hugs to all,
    Cherbear