My eyes overflow with tears of pain. My body is in so much pain, I want this to end. I want to live my life again. I want freedom. But where can I find freedom? Does it even exist? Am I destined to live a live of agony. Will I forever have to wear this mask so others don't see. They don't want to see the truth anyway. Am I just crazy? The meds don't help, sleep doesn't help. What will save me? I want to give up. I want to close my eyes forever to escape my reality. Where are you God when I cry out? Where is your hand of mercy? Am I not good enough for you to save? For you to heal? What have I done? Why does this disease have to fall on me? I hate it! It is an evil demon that is destroying everything in my life. It's destroying me. I can't fight this forever. I try to envision my future - but it seems so dark. How much longer can I hold on? I cry out to you God! Why do you ignore me? I feel abandoned. I feel so alone. I'm in a dry desert with no water. Please Father help me.