Where did I go?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by LollieBoo, Sep 21, 2005.

  1. LollieBoo

    LollieBoo New Member

    Sorry, but I am feeling a little down today. And I am having a good day, considering my past month! I feel like I have to qualify myself all the time. I USED to be smart, active, strong, witty, capable... if I was really those things, though, I wouldn't have to say it! My SATs score WAS 1500, I HAVE worked in strenuous professions and highly detail-oriented and specialized jobs. I HAD a 4.0 GPA in college, coachED our H.S. dance team- doing choreography and working out with the girls until I couldn't anymore. I HAVE done yoga for the last 7 years, and previously WAS very focused, balanced and could maintain some very difficult poses. Now, I am very basic and still have to modify some of the poses. Focus? Ha!

    I mix up words, confuse myself and often trail off a thought b/c I can't remember where I was going with it. I know that there are people who asssume that that is just me- it's the only way they know me... not so bright and unreliable. It's not how I see myself, but I can understand others seeing it. I sound really silly often when I am trying to come off as halfway knowledgeable.

    What happened to ME?

    Feeling sorry for myself,
    Lollie
  2. ckk

    ckk New Member

    not sure where i went sometimes myself! i have the worst time articulating the smallest things. so i know what you mean, it is very much ok that you are feeling sorry for yourself because you feel like you are "losing" a part of "you". ya know what i noticed? the more that i read the more my brain has to work the less "stupid" things i say. just a suggestion. good luck and know that you are not the only one out there!
    ckk
  3. 123sandra

    123sandra New Member

    You have a right to feel sorry for yourself, You ARE ILL!!
    I feel sorry for myself. But don't WE have a right?
    Hope this feeling soon passes.
    HUGE HUGS coming your way
    LOL
    Sandra...x
  4. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Hi Lollie:
    What happened to you has happened to so many of us.
    And that is why we are here. No need to mourn/grieve
    anymore. I get like that also, but then realize 'I will grieve no more'.
    Hugs,
    NyroFan
  5. LollieBoo

    LollieBoo New Member

    Sometimes I feel like this is just vanity... I should take it all as a spiritual lesson. But my spiritual side has taken a hit, too. I just think that God knows me inside and out... God knows where I'm at and why and so that part is okay.
  6. Mareeok

    Mareeok New Member

    you very well and will always give you the strength to endure. That makes me say to myself I'm doing well because I still have this burden and still able to carry it.

    Whatever you've lost physically you have gained more in your heart. I bet you are more compassionate with people you come across who are handicapped or diminished in some way. You've walked in the shoes of a so many people. You are empathetic regarding all types of tragic situations. You know the value of a good vent and wont begrudge that of anyone who needs to do it in your presence. I'd rather be stuck in a bad situation with someone like you rather than wih a person who was active physically but who had a dull heart.
  7. Jen102

    Jen102 New Member

    you will find a new deeper meaning of who you are without regard to accomplishments or roles. i have struggled (am struggling) with the same things you describe. I have done a lot of religious reading to have an understanding that i am a child of god first. it is something you have to go thru if your symptoms don't let up, and i am sorry for it. i hope you can find some good things along the journey. jen