Where do you get support?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lilaclover30, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. lilaclover30

    lilaclover30 New Member

    The past 3 days have been awful. I think that hubby is getting tired of the whole thing!

    we came home from church and he rested a bit and when out to deck to hush some corn for dinner. i camd through den and found that our cat had puddled on the pad under the litter box. i was already so tired and hnurt so much i didn't think I could stand it. i had to go to kitchen and get rag, cleaner and deodorizer and clean it up.

    Hubby was just going out and yelled at me as to why I wasn't sitting down! he stayed mad til I was in tears -0 which make no difference.

    It is soooo hot. My feet are so swollen with red sploshs that I can't fasetn sandles. i went to thr Dr. today. he didn't care for swelling and gve me 2 shots of lasixj and pills of that. i got another shot to help what he called my friend fibromyalgia.

    I got RXsf and came home so tired, hurting and hot! My daughter called and I made the big mistake of telling about my swelling. She promptly informed my that hers were too but "her" Dr.o just believed in no salt. Said my legs were so red and sore - hers were too but she didn't do anything about it. But this was all of these were sarcastic Then when I said that I hurt so bad frome FM, she really let me have it.

    Why didn't i just stay home where I belonged very angrily.

    It has been like this from the first time I told her ---she was mad!!! Doe4sn't believe in FMS.

    Hubby is no support in a case like this with our daughter. She has gotten angry at me when he just sat there and ignored it.

    Ij broke down and have cried most of the afternoon. That is why i am on here ---just someone to talk to.

    Hubby has never really supported me on FMS.

    Thank you for listening to all of this, I feel so much better.

    I have absolutely NO ONE that believes me. Why, I don't know.

    I luv u all and gentle hugs.

    Hope u are cooling off!!!!

    Joan
  2. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    Joan, ((((((HUGS)))))))

    Oh sweetie, I am SO SORRY you are having this kind of day. You don't deserve that kind of treatment!

    I understand you wanting to clean up after the kitty right away. I would've probably done the same thing. Sounds like you may not be able to ask hubby to do stuff like that.(?)

    I hate to say this, but it sounds like your daughter thinks that HER ailments are more serious than yours. Or, maybe she resents you being sick and competes for attention from others for it? Does that make any sense?
    I can't explain what I am trying to. (as usual)

    And why does she think you "belong" at home? Is she mad because you are sick? Or does she think being in pain and expressing it is our way of getting attention?

    I don't like you being treated this way! I wish there were something I could do to help. I get most of my support from my family here.

    My hubby is good to me and become more understanding, and my Mom is very supportive. My dad on the other hand doesn't think there is anything wrong with me. I'm in the process of writing my dad a letter and sending him a copy of the spoon theory with it.

    Here's another big gentle (((HUG))
    I sure hope things settle for you and you have a better day tomorrow.

    Love,
    "E"


  3. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    This is the toughest (almost) part.

    {{{{{{{JOAN}}}}}}}}

    Marta
  4. blessedmom2four

    blessedmom2four New Member

    is prayer and a jornal, my husband understands and believes me but is not the sensitive type, same with my sister.

    i have a good christian friend that i can talk to and i do but our friendship went thruogh some tough times because of money, we lived in their rental and my dh had problems with her dh witch cause problems in our friend ship.


    we still talk all the time but it is just diffrent.

    i usaully just come and read the board and feel better knowing i am trully not alone
    ((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))

    Julie
  5. toughone

    toughone New Member

    I know what it's like to have a husband that doesn't support you. Mine would rather pretend that FM doesn't exist. He's never wanted to learn what FM is all about, doesn't want to know what a typical day is like for me. His parents don't believe in FM or they figure if I wanted to be cured, I would be. When they come for a visit, they treat me like I'm a lazy slug. Funny thing is, I push myself everyday just to prove to everyone and myself that I can still function 100%. By evening, I'm hurting so bad I can hardly breathe. My saving grace is my son and daughter--I thank God for them every single day. They are 17 and 19 and they treat me like gold. I also have 5 dogs we rescued and now they rescue me everyday.
    Let me tell you what I do when I need to turn the world off--I am hooked on the show "Friends". My kids bought me all 10 seasons for Christmas last year, and I put in a DVD and just focus on "Friends". It helps me a lot. Maybe if you like to read or sew or have a favorite show, just go in a quiet room and "focus" on yourself. Do something that makes you happy--you certainly deserve it.
    No one understands the way FM feels unless they have it. Too bad the people that are supposed to be there for us sometimes leave us high and dry...
    Sending a big and gentle HUG your way...
    Toughone
  6. Momofboyz

    Momofboyz New Member

    I tried to write you back yesterday but too busy.
    I am 40 w/4 yr old and 6 yr old. My mom is the only adult who supports me and my kids in the best way they can. By believeing me and pitching in.
    My husband trys to feel for me when I have a bad day. But has never believed fibro is the real dx. Has never spent one minute looking it up or trying to learn more. One night when he was drunk I told him about someone on the boards and he laughed and told me I would never really find a cure on the internet. And that the people I talked about on the boards meant nothing to him.
    Well I NEVER mention the boards again!!!
    No other family member or friend ( I don't have any more friends) understand. They will say oh, yeah, I get that! Even my husband will say he get's muscle twitches too. But I am 40 I know what I used to be like and how I live now.
    I am sorry for all of us going through such a horrible disease. At least we don't look like were falling apart. But it hurts us too. People think we look fine! Catch 22.
    I am sure my husband loves me. But he has told me it is hard for HIM TO ADJUST!!!! I still by the way do everything I used to. I just need a cane somedays and meds.
    I pray to God they find a cure.
    God bless
    Deena
  7. rainorshine

    rainorshine New Member

    I don't know what I would do without the support of all my family and friends. Especially my wonderful husband.
    He takes great care of me, makes me rest all the time.
    I am so excited he has learned to put dishes in the dishwasher.

    I think part of the reason I have complete support is the way I have digressed in my health over the last 6 years.
    Beginning with Crohn's disease.
    And my mom has threatened to take on any apponants I might have. (ha ha..she's so cute)

    Joan I will say a prayer for you. We all need a tight group of supporters around us.

    Hang in there..

    C
  8. gymmbabe

    gymmbabe New Member

    Well, my family's (hubby and 3 kids) idea of support is telling to go lie down in bed with a heating pad. While, I'm glad they understand that I'm in pain and need rest...I get tired of being alone all of the time.

    I have tried to join them in the living room with my heating pad...the only problem is, if I happen to drift off to sleep, EVERYONE leaves the room. I wake up...all alone again. I have tried to explain to them that they do not have to leave or change thier lives for me. If I need quiet rest, I know I can have it in my bedroom.

    They respond the same way, "you were sleeping...we know you don't sleep at night, so we want you to rest while you can."

    I should be grateful (i really am), but the lonliness is starting to get to me.

    Dawn
  9. tinypillar

    tinypillar New Member

    The best suppport I've received is from this board.

    My exboyfriend (whom I lived with when I first got Dx with FM) didn't understand. As much as I tried to explain it with a foggy mind, he either couldn't believe or refused to believe.

    Most of my friends faded away because I could never go out, and if I did make plans with them, I usually had to cancel. My family lives a few hours away, and while my mom is supportive and always seems concerned, she's not in a position to physically be there for me.

    Now that I consider myself mostly recovered, I understand a bit more why it's so hard for others to believe or understand. I'm having a really hard time understanding myself.
  10. raslin25

    raslin25 New Member

    I can understand, i am recently dx with fibro and my hubby doesnt want to hear it, i still have to do all the same things, with little to no help from him, my kids are my saving grace, and they are 8,11& 13. they help do all the housework while im at work, and they help with everything that needs done! my hubb has no desire to know whats going on with me, He wont research it or learn anything about it, if i say i feel bad then he yells at me to lay down, ive learned that i have to keep it too myself how i feel, so i know how isolating that can be and when you dont have your spouses support, its hard. keep your chin up and love yourself, and try to reach out to those who do care, the ones that listen when you talk about fibro, and your daughter, she needs to quit being hateful to you and if she wont listen to you then take that stress off of yourself and dont talk to her until she can be respectful and kind to you! YOU MATTER TOO!! Keep that in mind! take care of you!

    Rachel