Where is everyone?

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by Pixie, Feb 19, 2002.

  1. Pixie

    Pixie New Member

    Hello all, I come to the caregiver board every day and no one is posting, just wondering how you are doing today, my 40 year old daughter is doing reallll good, we got the right doctor and meds for her, (bipolar, manic depression) we thought all these years she had cfs, my 38 year old daughter (fibromyalgia) is not doing good, this is my biggest concern, so young and so sick, my 83 year old mother is doing better than my daughter, I have been working 6 days a week, very little time for them or myself, yesterday,(day off) I went to my daughters helped clean house, made lunch for her, then went to Bush Gardens, and out to dinner, had a good time but thought of my sick child the whold time, that to me is what we as caregivers do, even when we get out, don't seem to get away from our concerns back home, but for me and you, we do need to get out, just wish I could leave them feeling good when I do. please let us hear from some of you out there, I need your replys, it does help, thanks
  2. mom

    mom New Member

    I come everyday just don't post as I am not a caregiver. I do like to answer the questions as a careee.
    I think it is great that you got out for dinner and had a nice evening. You do need it just to see that the world is still out there.
    You must be so relieved to have your daughter finally getting the proper diagnosis. It should take some of the pressure off you. Is it Willow who is not doing so well?
    Your children are so lucky to have your love and support. I envy them. My mother could care less about my health and that really hurts but only some times. For the most part I don't care at least that is what I keep telling myself.
    Anyway I am glad things are looking up in some ways for you.
    take care
    lynda
  3. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    Hi Everyone..I still check the board everyday, but I guess somedays I'm quiet (LOL)..I'm not a caregiver like I used to be..My mother is now in a skilled nursing facility, but yet they still consider you part of her care..Things are still really hard on me to see my mother suffer from depression/alzheimers, etc..I try to do everything I can, but it seems like it's never enough to please her..And she has been like this all her life, NOT JUST SINCE HER ILLNESS..But yet, I don't give up, I keep pushing myself until it effects my own health..Well now that I've vented to everyone, I hope everyone is doing fine, or atleast as good as can be expected..Pixie, I know what you mean when you say you go out to dinner but still have your daughters on your mind..No matter where I'm at, I'm always thinking (mind racing) about my Mom..It's a good thing I have such an understanding husband..Take Care!!!!
    Donna
  4. Pixie

    Pixie New Member

    So good to hear from you, lynda, it is so sad to hear of your mother, she does not realize what a joy she is missing, I can't imagine not being close to my girls, and the hurt that you are feeling is loud and clear to me as I read your post, you try to hide it, the hurt is there. don't know your age, even went back to see your profile, but I would love to adopt you, have read your post before, and how you met your husband, etc. and yes it is Willow, she had a bad experence with chinese food this week, not well at all. please let me hear from you more often, k? and mia83 thanks for your reply would like to correspond more and to get to know you better, My mom is 83 years old, sometimes she helps me with cooking for me and both my girls, she is doing better than Willow, How is your mom today, hope she is better,
    thanks for your kind words, take care, and God bless you both.
    [This Message was Edited on 02/20/2002]
  5. Charr

    Charr New Member

    Hi everyone,I'm new to this board, I'm usually on the Alzheimer's board. My mom is 86 and has Azheimers. It is terrible to watch every memory she ever had gone, most times not even knowing her own daughters. My mom was the main caregiver for my dad for 15 years. I moved back home in 1986 with my son to help Mom with dad. I was the likely choice as I was divorced. She took care of him all day while I worked. He died in Feb. 2000 and I thought that mayb my mom could do some things she gave up so any years ago to take care of dad, but after he died, the loss was so great that the Alzheimers finally burst out all at once. I guess she was taking care of him physically and he was covering for her loss of memory. What a pair!! She needs 24 hour care and hasn't really had a happy time since he died. Her only real joy is when she spends time with my great niece who is almost 2. Then she lights up and laughs nonstop. They are a joy to watch together. Mom recently went through a mean period and my sisters (3) take care of her while I work didn't think she could stay home anymore. The though as killing me. We did put her on a nursing homelist, but I also talked to the dr. and he gave her new medicne and we got her into daycare two days a week. The meds seem to help so that she doesn't become unconrollable and violent. She went to daycare two days this week and she loved it and didn't want to leave. I am praying she continues to love it, so I can keep her home with me as long as possible. She doesn't always know me, just that I guess I belong there, but that's ok, as long as she doesn't think I am a stranger and scare her. Donna I read your post about mom being a little better after meds change. I am so glad for you that she is talking and eating better. Please don't feel guilt or bad about the choices you make. You know as I do, that isn't your mom yelling those things to you, it'sthe disease. You do deserve time for you. Pixie Idon't know how you havethe energy to do all that you do, you are amazing and full of love for your family. I would be exhausted,I am exhausted just taking care of one household. God Bless You!! Well I have been really really long winded her sorry, I get going and don't know when to stop. It's like my own private conversation!!! Take care all of you. Promise I will be shorter next time.
  6. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    Could I ask what medicine your Mom is on..You said it makes her more controlable..I'm very interested in knowing what works for some..It never hurts to suggest different things to my Mom's dr. to see if he thinks it would help my mother..I can see my Mom going downhill mentally since they lowered her dosage..It will probably only be a matter of time till she starts to get wild again, and scream and afraid to eat because she thinks everyone is out to get her..Would really appreciate if you would let me know what meds your Mom is on..Also does you mother have any physical problems..Thanks in Advance..Appreciate it so much..
    Donna
  7. Charr

    Charr New Member

    Hi Donna, It's been a little over a month since the violent behavior and tantrums started. The Neurologist started her on Seroquel 25 mg. one three times a day. Well things didn't get better we had a terrible week where she was just uncontrollable every single afternoon and my sisters would call me to leave work because she would calm down once I got home and she felt safe. So then I called the family dr. because the neurologist wasnt availabe and we were desperate for help. He had me up the medication to two three times a day. Knock on wood the past week and a half have been much better. She might get anxious and stuff but she isn't hitting, kicking and screaming at us like she was. We started her in daycare two days this week. I didn't know how she would respond, but so far she has loved it and didn't want to come home when my sisters went to get her. I know it is terrible hard when they don't know who you are. Mom sometimes calls me by my name but she thinks I'm just a really good friend or old co-worker. There are a lot of times when she thinks my sisters are people from work and she can't figure out why they won't go home during the day when I'm working. As you know, this is a painful disease to watch and deal with. You just keep doing what your doing and save time to take care of you. I know it's hard when they put the guilt on you, but they don't remember what they say or that you were or weren't there yesterday. My sisters have been coming for over two years now every week and ma will swear to god she hasn't seen them in a long long time. I try to go along with mom as much as possible unless it's somethng dangerous or I can't think quick enough todivert her. If she tells me there are peoplein the room I just say oh really I didn't see them, what did they want. I know she not making sense. My biggest thing right now is that the TV shows scare her. Watch an action show and for sure those people are in our house waiting to get us. It's sad, but sometimes you just have to laugh at some of the things they try to do or say. Like one time I went to get her a cookie and when I opened the container I almost jumped out of my skin, their was this fuzzy thing in the box. On looking further I realized it was a piece of pork chop left over from dinner one night. Mom must have put it there instead of the fridge. What does mom say about this " who on earth would have put that in there?" With my straightest face I said I have no idea who could have done this, they must nothave been thinking! I told my son and sisters later and we had a good laugh. It's a sad disease but some things are just funny! You take care and keep in touch! I go between this board and the alzheimers board. I look inthe alzheimers chat line but nobody is ever online.