Where to look for live-in care?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia and ME & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' started by kchase77, Mar 24, 2013.

  1. kchase77

    kchase77 Member

    Hi everyone,

    I have gotten to the point where I feel I need to have some part-time live-in care but the only thing I have to offer in return is free rent in my home...private room or two and a private bathroom. I have no money to pay anyone and Medicare won't cover this. Passing a criminal background check is required.

    Does anyone know where I should even begin to start looking for this kind of arrangement? Craigslist is what I first thought of but that place terrifies me and God only knows what will come out of the woodwork there. Plus I am not in a good place or state of mind to be making decisions about that important a step. I just know I need some help but not how to go about it or who should interview people to make this choice for me.

    Family is totally unconcerned and uninvolved and don't want to know or help. There is no mentally and physically healthy person capable of putting my best interests at heart and choosing an appropriate care person for me.

    So if anyone has found themselves in a similar situation and can offer me suggestions, tips, anything at all I would love to hear from you.

    Thank very much,
    Jody
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Hi Jody

    Is there a senior center where you live? Ours have a book they put out 55& older with every service out there.

    Also maybe a college student? Maybe go for an older student or someone in nursing? Asst living places may also have suggestions.

    For sure stay off craigslist! Look in your local paper or post an ad there.

    best of luck jenny
  3. gb66

    gb66 Active Member

    Have you checked with any senior citizen organizations in your area to see if they offer visiting care rather than live-in?

    I've seen some that will come to your home and help with cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping and administer meds if needed.

    My M-I-L had this and she was able to stay home. It helped her not to have to be in a nursing home till she got much older.

    I might look into this first if I were in that situation. GB66
  4. kchase77

    kchase77 Member

    Thank you for the suggestions!

    I had not thought about senior organizations since I am not considered one yet. I am 51 years old. But contacting them is still a good idea as they may have other avenues I have not thought of. So good idea!

    How did your MIL pay for her visiting care, gb66? If Medicare won't cover it, then I've got nothing else to offer but the extra space in my house. A neighbor did tell me about an assisted living place near us but it costs $2000 per month to live there. Little pricey for someone on disability.

    Someone else suggested I contact local churches and put out feelers that way. It would be great to have someone in the healthcare field rather than just someone who needs a place to live and can do errands and chores. Helping me with my meds would be great as I tend to forget all about them until I start feeling symptoms.

    And speaking of CL, I did have a peek there and guess what I found? If this person is legitimate, then she is exactly what I need. Still very wary of CL though.

    http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/sha/3628880441.html

    Many thanks,
    Jody
  5. jaminhealth

    jaminhealth Well-Known Member

    and people can find good people on CL..one just have TO be very very careful on all this....

    If you need someone for heavy work for you, then that could be an issue....

    Keeping people at home is critical and if you can find someone as you have a house, etc...that could be a win win...how about a social worker to help you out. So many need housing in today's market....a good reliable student could work too...

    Just thinking about this issue, I have 3 lady friends who have live ins, all have houses and want someone in their houses and they all have gotten rent fees too...

    One woman gets her people from the German Embassy, they are short time live ins and they don't help her per se.

    Another woman rents out a room in her house and her guest house to men, who she gets help from for some things...

    And another woman since I've known her had 2 men live ins and 2 young woman just for the company and a little work here and there...sadly her last live in young woman found my friend dead a month ago, my friend 87 died in her sleep....

    So there are people out there in need of a place to live and who are willing to HELP out as needed....you just have to do the footwork...
    and specific on what your needs are....[This Message was Edited on 03/25/2013]
  6. gb66

    gb66 Active Member

    If I read your post right you're not just looking for someone to live in to have extra income, you want someone to help with medical issues. Is that correct?

    I would contact senior agencies and social work agencies to look for a home visitation worker/nurse.

    Having someone live with you could make you feel worse if you're ill and they live a normal life. It would for me. The noise, etc. would be bad.

    I hope you can find help. My MIL was on medicare when she had a visiting nurse and she also lived in FL. They have lots of agencies there for seniors. Much cheaper there to live in a good assisted living home too.

    She stayed home until she was 80, then, after falling and breaking her hip, she went to an assist. living home. She had a stroke while there and didn't recover. GB66
    [This Message was Edited on 03/25/2013]
  7. kchase77

    kchase77 Member

    Angie's list...that's a good one I hadn't thought of. Thanks, jamin!

    Gb66, you are correct. I need live in care with medication dispensing, housekeeping, grocery shopping, errands, and things like that. With such severe exhaustion I am not able to really do anything physical. I barely make it out to get groceries and then just barely. Takes a ton out of me and I have to rest for days....like I am doing anything but resting anyway.

    My house is filthy and I simply don't know what to do. I hate to put cleaning this house on someone else's shoulders but I cannot do it. Even my clothes have not been laundered in awhile. It's just a really bad situation and one that I am ashamed and embarrassed for anyone else to see and have to take on.

    Anyway, I really need help with physical tasks and the only payment I can give is a room or two in my house rent-free. Extra money would be nice but I need the other kind of help worse.

    Thanks,
    Jody
  8. jaminhealth

    jaminhealth Well-Known Member

    your health issues...and what you've tried for help with your
    issues...You are so young. jam
  9. kchase77

    kchase77 Member

    http://www.prohealth.com/me-cfs/blog/boarddetail.cfm?id=1432555&page=1&setboard=FM

    Thanks for asking, jamin. Having another rough one today.

    I agree...51 is young to be so dead...and that's exactly how I feel. Never had much energy at all though and think menopause is draining what little I did have. I have always been a sitter and a sleeper...never exercised, never participated in sports, nothing that required movement.....just never had enough energy to do anything.

    But this menopausal fatigue on top of lifelong fatigue has been an eye opener! Never thought I get get more tired.