which comes first, Oprah or depression?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by pamlamb, Feb 21, 2007.

  1. pamlamb

    pamlamb New Member

    Wow, my mind and body are in hyperdrive after reading reactions to "The Secret". I could go on for hours and will probably be up all night trying to figure it al out. I for one am unable to watch Oprah anymore. I believe she means well but with her wealth and her "people" helping her, of course she's happy. What I wouldn't give......even thought of selling a kidney or something but then I got cancer! Ya, we all have had our issues, but now I can not seem to let go of the anger and injustice that has molded me, or in this world, just watch the news an there are lawmakers or presidents taking more things away from the poor every day! I try to get thru every day trying to make to the next and I really wonder why sometimes. So its to hard to watch just the simple answers to being happy from people that have all they need. Its a joke to think happiness is just an attitude away. I am a flower child from way back and look where it got me(oh but it was fun at the time). All I can think about is what I don't and never will have, and all the wrongs that have happened in my life.I am unable to let go or forgive, and I am in therapy, have been all my life. (I'm 52)My kids keep me here or I'd of checked out by now. I know this sounds really sad to some but I know there are others that know exactly what I mean. So, after this, I'm going to try going to bed! Just had to let some steam out. PJ
  2. LouiseK

    LouiseK New Member

    The title of your post made me laugh out loud. If you read those posts about "The Secret" you might have seen the story I posted about her carrying on about how John Travolta dropped of a brand new Rolls Royce (had his "people" do it) at her mansion because she admired his.

    Okay people have your rich peoples' fun. But when people have to listen to Oprah talk about such crap, I just wonder. How about auctioning that thing off for charity. She was saying she actually drove it once or something. Sickening.

    I'm with you -- an old hippie. We used to think the world would stop turning because some cult was chanting for MONEY of all evil things!

    Calm yourself. There, there.
  3. GigglePoet

    GigglePoet New Member

    I hear you girl! YOU hang in there Pam!!!! I'm sending you lots of hugs

  4. pamlamb

    pamlamb New Member

    Thanks for your replies. I didn't read your piece about John and his $$, I started skimming after a while while my blood pressure went up. I suppose this isn't the healthy way to think, but it is what it is. Take care, PJ
    [This Message was Edited on 02/21/2007]
  5. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I hear you and I understand. This illness is difficult and with dealing with it, it intensifies everything that is wrong or ever was wrong.

    I used to be a news junky. Now I do not begin to watch or listen to the news reports. First, there is nothing I can do about it. I am too old and too sick. Second and last, it makes me feel worse. I get uptight about what is going on and I get sicker when I do that.

    Find something else to watch on TV that you enjoy. Even the cartoons would be healthier for you! Really, you will start to be able to cope with more if you are selective of what you take in. IE: People (some are toxic), newscasts, news papers....etc.

    I find ways to escape and like you, genealogy has been a life saver. You have a great sense of humor, just the way you title this posting.....I HAD to see what you had to say.
    I am still giggling.

    Thanks.......Love and Blessings............Susan
  6. pamlamb

    pamlamb New Member

    Good advice, so I guess that means all the "law and Orders" and CSIs not so good either. I am learning a lot about my ancestors which is very time consuming and iteresting. I did try spongebob with my grandson, noooo, can't do that. Actually, he (grandson) is what I need usually. I love watching those little minds working, and he is a funny little man. Good night all. PJ
    [This Message was Edited on 02/22/2007]
  7. Iamnotmyillness

    Iamnotmyillness New Member

    I was told by someone here in Michigan that Oprah has never considered doing a show on FM because she doesnt believe it exists. Thanks Oprah. And when did you get your medical degree? Its ironic because her favorite Dr. - Dr. mahmet oz. believes it exists.

    Interestingly I went to the site for Tyra's show where they ask for topics. There were a ton of overly local suggestions - ie: do a show on my cousin, she gets teased by the cheerleaders at her school (j/k but you get the idea) and suggestions that ramble and make no sense. I suggested that she do a show on diseases like FM. After you post, the post is held until a moderator approves it. Interestingly, my post NEVER made it on to the site. maybe she asked her good friend Oprah about it. perhaps Oprah asked JT to drive over in his rolls to tell her about how FM doesnt exist. Maybe we should all join Scientology and get our phetons (sp?) checked to rid us of all the troubled alien spirits that caused our aches and pains.

  8. jipsieyes

    jipsieyes New Member

    ...I posted on the forum, too, that perhaps Tyra could do a show on FM, with a few representative sufferers (using the"s" word loosely, now -- not a word I like) on board...
    Other posts AFTER mine are there now... but mine (I posted a version of this request in three different places) has never shown up... ;-(
    Maybe I should repost, asking WHY there is someone behind the scenes there, picking and choosing the forum posts that "show up"...? I used no expletives, no names, didn't whine -- my post was the epitome of class and intelligence (I hoped)...

    Oh well. The experience there is certainly nothing new...


  9. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    I have a hard time with some things that she says and does. I do think that the fact that she has had so much fame and cash..for so many years in her life..has begun to color how she looks at the world. I imagine it would do the same for most of us as well! But..for me..the plus of having a remote..is I can turn her off..or change the channel..if she goes down a road that makes me uncomfortable!

    So, with Oprah, or anyone out there ..that makes me feel LESS THAN in any way....I tune them out. I try my best to only let in the postive things in the world...I limit news exposure to about 5 to 10 min a day..or every couple days..just enough to be informed about what is going on in the world..not enough to stress me out! When I turned off the news..my MOOD IMPROVED! amazing.

  10. desertlass

    desertlass New Member

    I think if we were all honest, we would admit that we each feel similarly, but the culture of Oprah forbids being able to express such feelings, because then that shows that our "negative" mindset is to blame for the fact that we have suffered in the first place.

    I read a very interesting article about this in a book on CFS by Peggy Munson called "The White Light Fascists". I can't remember who wrote the article itself, but it struck a chord with me. The writer was deep in the practice of all the various self-help fads that swept through the U.S in the eighties, especially, such as meditation and diet and CBT and exercise and so forth. Pretty soon, the others were making implications that she was still sick because she hadn't practiced her meditation well enough, she still had faulty beliefs, she was exercising too much, or too little, and the problem must have been that she really didn't want to get well, or she would be.

    I think that from your post, when you say "all I can think about is..." I would question that. You strike me as someone who thinks a great deal about many things. That is probably what has kept you here, as well your devotion to your kids.

    There is nothing wrong with bearing witness to what has happened to you in your life. You don't have to spin it in a "positive" way to make it more acceptable. Just don't stop telling your story. The good, the bad and the ugly. We are not here to make Oprah or anyone else feel better about the world. We didn't create it, nor our situations, beyond what we are able to control. We don't owe anyone a happy ending just so they can get something out of it for themselves, whether it's relief or hope or a story to use for a show. Being honest about your losses is not going to block any good things from coming your way. In fact, I suspect that its made you all the more appreciative of whatever is good and lovely and working well.

    When we don't get what we need, we all find ways to cope and adapt. Maybe you're just not the type that needs to feel like everything difficult and unpleasant is always behind you, and never to be faced in the present or future. Feeling sad when you wrote your post is a normal reaction to hearing about other's triumphs, when we're not experiencing a moment like that ourselves. You don't have to feel open and victorious and hopeful all the time. Feeling closed off, beaten down and discouraged is acceptable and just as valid. You will know when those feelings no longer reflect your inner state, and don't let anyone judge you for them. Just don't feel that you're not allowed to let them go, or not worthy of feeling more pleasant feelings. They're just feelings, and not the measure of our lives.

    I wrote all of this to help myself, and it probably should be in the "Coping" section. But, I hope you at least might come to sense that you're not on the roadside while life passes you by with all the others on a big happy bandwagon that has "swept the nation." You are free to jump on the bandwagon or any other way, if you want to, or not, as you see fit. There's nothing wrong with choosing to keep your feet on the ground until you feel ready for whatever is next... and there's always a "next" whether we're ready or not, as we all know!

    Sorry if this got all preachy. I just really was touched by your post. I feel the same way about my own kids. Being brave for them has kept me going, too.

    I hope you had good sleep.

  11. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    I think Montel would be an advovate for FMS/CFS since he himself has MS and knows what it is like to have this type of illness.

    Oprah is too full of herself anymore.

    Tyra is well ... Tyra ... lol.
  12. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    I am one of those people who never liked her!!!!!!!!!!
    You rest, rest, rest.

  13. tngirl

    tngirl New Member

    Ok, first let me say I agree with some of the points you have about the show and that her life experiences and wealth mold her outlook on life.

    But don't our life experiences make us what we are too?

    I know mine difinitely have affected me. My family, my education, my friendships, the jobs I've had, my faith, the way others treat me and I treat others, my illness, etc. all have impacted on who I am.

    Certainly Oprah is famous and I'm not and she no doubt influences a huge number of people through her show.

    I agree there is a need for education, research and greater public awareness about FMS and CFS.

    Luckily, we can change the channel or turn the TV off if we choose to.

    I will say that Oprah does a lot of charity work including the school in Africa and I think that is a good thing. At least she's not spending all her money on self indulgences.

  14. Iamnotmyillness

    Iamnotmyillness New Member

    Jip -- WOW. I thought maybe it was how I wrote my post or that they had had FM posts before, but yours didnt show up either...hhmmmmm

    As for Oprah, I agree that everyone's experiences shape them, but thats no excuse for dismissing an entire class of illness because YOU dont believe it exists. What if I told her that I dont believe racism exists and never has existed since I have not personally experienced it? She would call me a bigot and she would be right to call me one. And it begs the question, if she and/or Tyra do not believe FM exists what do they think is causing these symptoms in so many people? My guess is that she thinks the MILLIONS of people who suffer with FM have a screw loose. I find that offensive. I felt the same way when Tom Cruise criticized Brooke Shields for taking medication to deal with her post partum.

    JMHO. And sorry if it comes across to harsh, its not directed at posters, more at Oprah. I am a bit on edge tonight and the idea of her lying comfy in her 800 counts sheets that she makes the maid change every day so she never has to sleep on less than prestine sheets drives me crazy.
  15. Calleigh

    Calleigh New Member

    I know she does a lot of good with her Angel Network, but no matter who her guests are or what they've done, she's done it, she's experienced on the topic, she can relate, yadda, yadda, yadda. And she interrupts ALL the time!

    I used to say that I would never wish CFS/FM on anyone, but I think all the 'nay-sayers' should experience it before they start flapping their lips in dismissal!
  16. Jordane

    Jordane New Member

    I personally thing she is high & mighty and really in love with herself!!!!

    She thinks she knows EVERYTHING, about parenting,shes NEVER had a child!!!!( that we know of)

    About having **positive** thoughts & feelings.She is not a psychiatrist, but she can tell U what you should do, what you should eat,how to think.!!!!

    Well I could go on & on about her,she disgusts me,she is so FAKE.

    I dont watch any of those talk shows anymore,its all fake,they are probably coached and told what they can say & cant say.They make something like Cancer, other Diseases into a circus show instead of giving it the respect of what these people go thru.

    She doesnt talk about CFS,or FM,because its REAL.

    I have to stop now,or I will keep ranting.

    You get some rest hun!
    hugs, Jordane
  17. suzannekart

    suzannekart New Member

    I have not watched one of her shows in maybe Oh yeah not since the first year she was on and I watched one. That was more than enough. How hard can it be to build a school or do any other helpful things if you have a gazillion dollars? PLEASE!!! And then she is never quiet or understated about any of it. I beleive the only excerise she gets is patting herself on the back. She is totally an "image manager". We all know people like that there is nothing under the image. She only has people on that she feels she can be in control of. She is so fear based it's not even funny. One time I heard in church- If sometimes you can't understand why some people have so much and some struggle it's because people like her already have their reward. What they have does not seem like much when you look at it that way.
    I am so sick of this trend to entainers being the only people who are of any value. They give thier opinions on every subject like they have something of value to say. As far as I can see you could put all their knowledge and values in a thimble and have room left over. Hey they can stand in front of a camera and say lines someone else has thought of and written down for them. Well aren't they special?? Thank God for TiVo. I don't watch anything I don't want to. The only person in the public spotlight and I don't think she is anymore, was Jane Pauly. When someone interviewed her about how hard it was to work and have a family she told them to go ask a woman who really did it. She said she had no idea because she was very lucky and had so much help with everything that she felt blessed and should not even suggest she would be able to answer a question like that! Way to go Jane!! Can you even think of how say Ms. Jolie would answer that? Rant, rant, rant. I will not say another word. Love to you all, Suzanne
    [This Message was Edited on 02/23/2007]
  18. achingbytch

    achingbytch New Member

    I'm a year older and except for the cancer (my list is full too) every detail is the same. I love you for writing so plainly and clearly the pain and grief that therapy and talking heads cannot solve with short sentences and recycled ideas. And while money would really help us, the 'hole' inside from grief is not filled with money. I do not want to add to your words of futility because I know how close we can feel to tipping over the edge...but if its any comfort, there are many of us...we expected so much of life and ourselves, there are few chances left and few years to take the opportunities that might come along. Its wind down time I guess...one of the reasons I think I simply can't take much more abuse and stress at work...or anywhere. There's nothing to show for so many years of struggling, except to say I have few debts. I wanted so badly to do things 'right' I worked hard, flew straight at the expense of my health.
    Even though Oprah gets on my nerves with her ongoing search for Spiritual Truth and Justice for All Mankind (doesnt exist)she's been generous with her wealth.
    I'd give you a hug if I could.

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