Who Do You Count On Most?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by NyroFan, Nov 23, 2006.

  1. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Hello all:

    I was just wondering tonight on who i really had to rely on in my life. Scary as it was I remembered that all of my relatives (aunts/uncles/etc/) were all gone.

    My sister is all I have and she is down in Florida. I visit once a year, sometimes twice, and call her three times a week.

    Yes, besides the message board (and believe it or not, she is registered here and just reads!!!)

    I was wondering. With all the things families do to us: who gives you the most support. If anyone.

    nyrofan
  2. Slayadragon

    Slayadragon New Member

    I have a lot of people in my life (husband, friends, family, one or two doctors) that I count on. They're all really terrific and I'm very grateful to have them.

    But I count on myself _far_ more than any of these other folks.
  3. ladykew

    ladykew New Member

    second, my best friend who has the same illnesses that I have. Mother has seen me at my worst, when I could not lift my head off the pillow. She has been there to feed me when I was too tired to feed myself.

    My best friend and I count on each other because very few people, even doctors, around here understand or have even heard of FM or ME/CFS.

    People who do not have it, or who are not exposed to it by having loved ones who do, or being caregivers to those who have it, do not comprehend it.

    Thanks for the post.

    (((hugs)))
    ~~Lew
  4. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

  5. saddlebred

    saddlebred New Member

    My father, my husband has been researching FM and has been giving more help. It may back fire on me. the more he reads the more he hovers. My youngest son, how I think my have FM, are all there for me.

    My mother and oldest son think it's ALL in me head. I want to make they unnderstand but I'm about to throw my hands up.
  6. shar6710

    shar6710 New Member

    My husband mostly because I have no other family nearby.

    My neighbors have come to my rescue on several occasions.

    I have a friend who is willing to help when she can but she has a 2 yr old and a baby so has her hands full.

    My parents who are in their sixties and retired visit at least once a year and help my husband on projects that need done. I hate that because it's so backwards-we should be helping them.

    Shar
    [This Message was Edited on 11/25/2006]
  7. rockymtnmom

    rockymtnmom New Member

    My husband, for never ever giving up on me, and for always believing in me, and supporting me.
    My children, for providing the motivation I need to keep going,
    My psychoherapist, who also never wavered in her belief that there was truly something wrong with me, even when the doctors and tests couldn't figure something out, and also for providing incredible support always,
    My current General Practitioner, who was the first to give me a diagnosis of fibromyalgia and CFS, who will try things I suggest and always believes me,
    Recently, my parents have been so incredibly supportive as I haven't been able to drive with my corneal lesions, they help with the kids and are there for me.
  8. angellwolffe

    angellwolffe New Member

    I mostly count on myself. Then there's hubby. Sometimes he gets hovery and asks me 10 thousand times if i'm ok and what can he do. but he's not always around, i have to let him go out with his friends sometimes but when he gets back he tries to baby me. he'll do stuff if i don't feel upto it like laundry, dishes, bring my blanket and hottea, massages etc. He lives with me and he sees first hand what i go through.

    Angell
  9. 143alan

    143alan New Member

  10. Angel1964

    Angel1964 New Member

    I count on God, my husband, and myself. Sometimes it is very hard when a flare up occurs. Luckily, I'm training to work at home and that will be a big blessing in managing my illness.

    Angel
  11. Ranigar

    Ranigar Member

    Always counted on my DH or at least my grown kids but I've found out there really is just myself and that's a shock for me.Every time since my DX that I've needed support my DH has been sick or had an injury.I can hardly blame him for that.Time and time again I end up taking care of him and just sucking it up with no support.He'll promise that when the flu is over or cold or his tendon heals he'll be there for me but again another thing happens.For as much as I've listened and given advise to my kids they seem uninterested.I guess they think because I was the strong one I can handle things and if I can't they don't know what to do.I really feel I have no real support I can lean on when I'm down.That's not to often,I've adjusted pretty well but I'm disappointed and this holiday was overwhelming for me.Guess who was sick?
  12. ktpar

    ktpar New Member

    He is the only one who will never leave or forsake. Ask him in your heart and he will comfort you when others are not around.
  13. mary124

    mary124 New Member

    .. my Husband. He has never given up on me. A best friend who has FM. Other than that myself.
  14. Lendy5

    Lendy5 New Member

    My husband and kids are the only ones I count on and of course coming here.

    None of my brothers, sister or dad has ever supported me and never believed when I told them I even had high blood pressure. I don't tell them anything because I am tired of being disappointed.

    Love & Hugs!
    Carolin
  15. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    My Children are all grown up and we will soon be living in different states.
    This DD has kept me in where I just do not have anyone close. My family is also in a different state.
    Its sad to say but I really do not have anyone but my husband that I depend on.My biggest fear is he will pass away before me and I do not know what I would do.
    I pray family will become closer with time
  16. Chris3251

    Chris3251 New Member

    I don't know why but I've been avoiding this topic all morning. I have a strong personality, so I don't like to admit when I'm in need or when I need to count on other people.

    I can't say there is one single person I count on. For years I only relied on myself. Even when I was married, the majority of the work fell on me regardless of what it was and if I came down sick with something I still had to be Superwoman and Wondermom which most of us have to do, but sometimes to the extreme in my case.

    That's all changed over the past year. Of course I'm divorced, so that's one less person I have to worry about. My youngest daughter has grown wise beyond her 16 years. I want her to have a regular teenaged life, but she spends alot of time worrying about me. If she knows or thinks I'm not feeling well, she stays home. I realize this so I put on a happy face and make her go do things with her friends.

    I count on my oldest sister and my niece. My niece just received her RN degree and she's smart as a whip. I can call and ask her questions. If she doesn't know the answer she'll find a dr. back home and get one. I count on her for SOME medical information and getting the drs lined up that I'll need.

    I count on my sister for being my sister and best friend. We can tell each other how it is whether we want to hear the truth or not. She is the one who helped me realize I can't be superwoman anymore. She WANTS to help me, but right now she's 600 miles away so in a few months we'll be staying with her. I'm the type I dont like to impose but she is insisting that we stay with her. We talk for hours about anything and everything no matter how serious or trivial.

    P.S. - I apologize, I'm not usually this chatty! Especially being new to a group or form yet all my posts have been more like novels than posts!
  17. Steinem

    Steinem New Member

    even though I have a loving and supportive husband, I can really only count on myself when it comes to my illness.

    Good question, Fran. Thank you.
  18. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    My partner of eighteen years is the greatest! He supports me in many ways and he seamlessly adjusts his level of support as the intensity of my symptoms ebb and flow. Some days I don't need any help at all and other days I have trouble taking a shower, getting dressed etc.

    My children live away so although they don't provide hands-on support, they are very loving and concerned.

    Each Tuesday my best friend takes me out to run errands, do some shopping or just have a walk through the mall. She's very sensitive and able to tell by looking at me when I've had enough and need to go home to my bed.

    I have two doctors; my g.p. and a pain specialist. They are both reliable and efficient and continue to do their best to support me.

    I've learned to rely on myself - I've learned how to say 'no' when I'm not feeling up to taking on a project or going out. I pace myself carefully throughout the day, take my meds faithfully, do my best with diet & exercise. I quit smoking, don't drink alcohol or use recreational drugs. I keep a pleasant home and do what I can to engage my mind. I've arranged for creature comforts: adjustable bed, massage chair etc. I pray.

    I find a lot of support here on this board. Even during the times when I don't feel up to posting, just reading other posts and replies are helpful.

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa
  19. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    I can't count on anything but God.
    my hubby would try but he has his own issues, He.s mostly like a child that I have to take care of,he can"t even remember to take his meds.
    its very stressful,on me he,s been like this his whole life never took responsibility for anything.
    and it breaks my heart that my daughter has married a guy just like him.
    I even have to tell him its time to go to work,he doesn"t even realize what time it is. something that runs in his family, his mother was the same way.
    I really feel alone because of this and it scares me because I worry about as we get older.
    I refuse to travel with him because he gets lost all the time and of course he won't admit it and starts fighting.
    its just not worth it anymore.
    and I"ve noticed that he seems to be getting violent more and more like he can't control his self. well I guess this is another issue. thanks for letting me vent. and oh yes I count on this board. sixtyslady
  20. jg004o6371

    jg004o6371 New Member

    hi there i do feel for u got nobody around,so i think u should go on msn u will find lots of friends on there u will help u cope with fms if they can give advice on any info u want,and have a laugh with,so goodluck with everything,if u want to email me u can,juliemarie1@fsmail.net,so takecare