who ever is pulling my legs off please stop, It hurts

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jul 21, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I am in tears now, as my thighs feel like someone has a tracter hooked up to each thigh and they are pulling in the oppisite dirrection.

    Just to touch my thighs causes me pain and I am so so stiff. I don't remmeber ever huting like this before. This pain is so intence that just moving from my couch to the computer hurt so much that I almost could not walk that short distance.
    And it not that far. But this pain is different than I have had. My legs hurt from my hips. thighs and calves and ankles and feet.

    And it that was not enough pain my lower back hurts as well. I am hurting to much that the thought of taking my pain meds and having to swollow is making me naueous. I know that I need to take them as I just am not handling this horriable pain as well as I should.

    I am not a baby , but when you live with pain most of your life and suddenly some how your in more and more pain than you have everyday. This is so much intence and I don't know why.

    I got up and tool the car and paid a bill and went to Sam's club where I rode in one of the carts and didn't walk at all except to and from my car and it was so HOT today.

    Then we went to another store and they did not have any carts out as they were being used so I walked around the store and with in a few moments I told my daughter that I had to go and sit down as I could not walk any more.
    to say that she was happy about my limping and the look of pain on my face , was not making her happy with me.

    It only got worse as I was walking to a bench a lady asked me if I waas ok and did I need some help to sit down. And even though I did she could not have helped me get there so I told her I was fine and I was going to just sit down and wait for my duaghter.

    I know that my oldest struggles with my pain and my taking pain pills and driving, I knew how she felt so I didn't take my MSContin when I should have take it. And now I am paying the price. I am not so smart today I should not have walked all over today.I just wanted my oldest to be happy for a while becasue she is having painic attacks and she is not happy with where she lives.

    She was married not quite a year ago and since they are saving money to buy a house they are living with my MOM her garandmother who is in her late 70's and lately she has been forgetting things and it is upsetting her so she gets really sharp and upset at all that is happening to her at her age. She will be 79 in a few weeks and it is hard. It is hard for mom to have a newly wed couple living in her home and not doing things like she wants them done.

    But for my daughter who had lieved with the G-ma for about 10 years feels embarassed about things like haivng her hubby kiss her and get all romantic . She must feel like she is at home and her parents are watching every move she makes and being married she is uncomfortable with the intamcy between her husband and her and he feels that same way a bit nervous like they should not be doing what married people do.

    Last night my MOM was in Canada for 2 weeks and my daughter had the worst painic attack, I think that part of it is because that Grandma has been sick and she feels like something might happen to her while she is gone. I think that mom will do fine as she had a check up before she left and all her blood work was normal and so was every thing else. I am just supossing that my daughter in not consious of how she feels as she worries about her grandma. So I think that she is worried about her and it is just not a concous thing in her mind.

    This panic attack lasted for a couple of hours even after she called me and we talked for aboat a hour or more. So when I had things to do today I thought that she might like to come with me and forget about this sadness she is feeling .But I don't think it worked so well.

    Me I am paying for all the walking and not enough sleep and after my oldset daughter left to spend the week end with her INLAWs at a family thing , my youngest daughter and her hubby and baby came here. They had been up fishing and then went to the pool and came back to my house to rest as my youngest is expecting another baby in Jan and this heat is not good for her and makes her sick.

    The grandbaby thinks that he can do what he wants and he tried to pull my blinds off the hooks and tired to get in to my candle holder that thankfully was not plugged in . {TO HOT ANY WAY} He was running around finding my videio camera and thougt that he should have it and play with it so I took it away and there came the big tears and he was mad and cussing in baby talk at me.

    Later on he thought that it was fun to climball over me and bounce on me and lay flat on me and hug me. He was so much fun to be with and he is a go getter and has to be moving all the time. He would grab my hands and try to make me pick him up and I can't do it as he wieghs 24 lbs and I can't lift him or carry him even though I really want to .

    But we did have a good evening and I loved haveing them here with my hubby adn I and we all had a good time and the baby was so tired that when they left he was about alseep before they had gone very far.

    ButThis Grandma is pooped and in so much pain that I could cry. I am hurting so much and I don't know what to do about how bad I feel. I am so sore and in more pain than i have been in a long time. I am hurting and tired and I dispise how badly I am hurting. PLease tell me that I have not lost my mind? as I feel like I have done.

    I don't like this feeling and I am tired of the never ending pain that just seems to crawl in to places that you would not think it would get there , to have muscles that hurt and you don't know why or what you have done to make your body hurt. My knee's , hips& thighs are cuasing me a great deal of pain all my muscles are so tight that they feel like they could and should just POP OPEN. I know that they won't do that but i am in so much pain that I just can't deal with it any more.

    I am going to take my pain meds and go to bed. So that I can feel better I hope . I feel like I am losing my mind from the pain. I could just SCREAM !!!!
    Off to bed for me, I can't stand this pain.
    Rosemarie