Who here has social anxiety?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kriket, Jun 10, 2006.

  1. kriket

    kriket New Member

    I have this so bad. I get tension headaches when I have to be around more than a few people. I can't even eat around certain people b/c I am afraid that I will choke. I always feel as if everyone is staring at me and I feel singled out.

    Sometimes I just freeze in conversation b/c I am so nervous. I think I bring more attention to myself trying to avoid people than I would if I would just stick around and try to be normal.

    Anybody else avoid being around people? I get knots in my stomach when I am headed for work on the weekends, just b/c I have to be around so many people. People will even ask me "what's wrong?" or "are you mad?" I just simply don't want to talk- I feel so stupid.

    I feel like it interferes with my everyday life. What makes us feel this way? why can't we just feel normal and be sociable like everyone else? Anyone know where I coming from?

    [This Message was Edited on 06/15/2006]
  2. I have developed anxiety so bad I hate when people at work try too talk too me.This is the same people I have been talking to for years, I train them and they look up too me so its difficult for me to let the see me feeling this way. I have got to get to the doctor soon maybe he will give me a mild anxiety medicine Ruthie
  3. CAM57

    CAM57 New Member

    I have social phobia also. Not fun at all!!
  4. kriket

    kriket New Member

    I have never heard of social phobia. What is it? Sounds like it may be a phobia of being social. If so, this is 100% me. What is the difference between social anxiety and social phobia?
    [This Message was Edited on 06/10/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 06/10/2006]
  5. kriket

    kriket New Member

    Thank you for these encouraging words. It takes all I have to push myself to even go to work, for fear of having to talk to people. I hate it soooo bad.

  6. KittyCat

    KittyCat New Member

    My therapist says I have generalized anxiety disorder. Is this different from social anxiety? I have that too. I've had it as far back as I can remember. I wonder if I inherited this. My mom was an anxious type. The medication I take for it does help.
  7. dleaning

    dleaning New Member

    I don't really get nervous, but with my hearing problem, I have been made fun of for replying to what I thought was the question and turns out is something totally different!! Sometimes it's funny, sometimes its not! I do get anxious if its a crowd and I can't follow conversations, especially when its dark and I can't read lips..

  8. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    I really feel for you, and everyone who has any sort of social anxiety or phobia. I have a friend who I think has it, and it's really frustrating to not know what to do to help her. Of course, I want to spend time with her, and talk on the phone, and have her meet other newer friends of mine, but it's so hard for her! I don't want to push her, but I know that when I keep trying to encourage her (especially when she says stuff like "I know that I'm not a good friend" "I know that I am stupid" etc and I respond to her by saying that no, she is good friend and she's not stupid! Other people think THEY are the stupid ones in groups too she's not alone ...) she probably feels more pressured.

    I don't have social phobias, but I have to say, since struggling with my chronic illness, I have been far more anxious and insecure in general, and it has definitely gotten worse in groups of people. Before I started feeling better, I felt like everyone in the room was looking at me and thinking that I was rude or anti-social or negative, probably because I was so stressed out and exhausted from hurting that it made me really tense and anxious in general. I knew that they weren't rational thoughts, but it's hard to stop them once they start.

    So while I don't completely know where you are coming from, I really empathize with you. It's an amazingly complex and frustrating anxiety/phobia to have and I compend your bravery and courage for facing every day that you do. And I do think that such anxieties can start or worsen when someone also has CFIDS or FM. It makes us so much more stressed out and sensitive, it's bound to cause trouble.

    I hope you find support and comfort. Have you thought about seeing a therapist of some sort? I have found that therapy was very helpful for me throughout the stress of this illness and before when I had other struggles.
  9. 1975jet

    1975jet New Member

    You have explained it so wonderfully- I have anxiety disorders which involves GAD, Panic disorders and have been in the past agorphorbic-they are a real medical illness.

    You can find alot of information by going to google and search anxiety disorders- there are quite a few. No one is stupid, tell your MD what you feel.

    I have been taking Zoloft for over 1 year, it has helped with the anxiety and depression- and when the anxiety rides high, I take Xanax. Also I have a therapist.

  10. kimfibro

    kimfibro New Member

    but only at times. it seems to wax and wane.

    SO MUCH WORSE when it's PMS time. can be just awful.

    i've not been diagnosed with it formally. because it's not consistent i'm apt to believe i just have anxiety which heightens at that time of the month.

    sometimes i hate just being in the car at a traffic light cuz it seems like i'm being watched by the cars around me.

    i get frustrated and angry cuz it SEEMS ridiculous.

    i take xanax for anxiety which does help.
  11. jujubug

    jujubug New Member

    I have a son also who i believe has social anxiety. he's 23 now,and lives here with me and DH. In earlier yrs he was dx as having ADHD. This SA rules everything in his world it seems. never comes out of his bedroom unless to eat,can't work at a job,(he's tried 3 or 4)hasn't any friends but one,because he has loss touch with them.He didn't even want to get his drivers license! he's not on any meds right now. I feel so badly for him. I will certainly go to the web site you suggested and look for info on this. any other advice would be so appreciated. Thanks...Jujubug
  12. shootingstar

    shootingstar New Member

    I think as a young child I was fine, but by the time I was eight or nine remember feeling like I didn't quite fit in anywhere and started avoiding social interaction, very shy. Plagued me through my adult years. I'm somewhat better now, but still avoid many situations that would not bother most other people at all.
  13. damz68

    damz68 New Member

    I too have SAD. I have always been shy but did not start having panic attacks until I was like 18. It is very embarasing to get red and flushed in a situation.

    Do you get panic attacks too? If you get flush, hot/cold and adrenaline rushes it is considered panic.

    I would say it pretty much ruined my life. It caused me to drop out of school and drop out of collage. It has caused a great deal of depression. No telling where I would be today if I never had it. I doubt I would have ever even got the flu that started my cfs/fibro, unless I was born with cfs/fibro and the SAD/panic was just the first symptoms.
    [This Message was Edited on 06/12/2006]
  14. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    I also suffer from this.SAD and I'm also a worrywart.

    My daughter sent me an awesome book that has helped the worrywart in me.

    Worrywarts Companion

    21 ways to sooth yourself and worry smart. By Dr. Beverly Potter.

    I have this book by my side always and have read it about 6 times .When I start to worry about foolish things.I open it up and read it again.It comforts me.

    Take care
  15. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    ...and I don't want to speak out of turn here; I didn't have CFS and FM when I had social anxiety.

    Regardless, let me tell you the trick I learned that helped me overcome it (to the point of later being the President of our Chamber of Commerce). I suspect that we don't have to be sick with these illnesses to have social anxiety. Even now I dread, not the people or socializing but the symptoms that I might have: that dead-but-don't-know-it kind of fatigue that can hit suddenly and make you wonder if you'll get home.

    It's simply, really. We have anxiety in social situations because we're worried about how we look, what we're saying, what other people think about how we look and what we're saying, can we hold our own in conversation, will we look stupid...... on and on. But as you can see, it's all about us. We're not bad or thoughtless people, we lack self-confidence and being ill makes it worse. "What do I tell people? Do I tell people? about my illness? What if I tell them and they say something rude; how do I handle it?, etc!"

    The key is to find one person at a time and totally immerse yourself in them. Tell yourself that this is a valuable human being and you want to know more about them. Make eye contact, ask questions, make them the focus of your time with them, not you. Really THINK about what they're saying to you, listen, hear. When you do that you don't have time to think about yourself and little by little, over time, you'll find yourself at ease. Start with just one person at a time and pretty soon you can be leading your business community. If you want to. lol

    Good luck with it.


    Good luck.

  16. marilynb

    marilynb New Member

    I am very shy & believe I have this.

    I had to work at our Pharmacy on Saturday to fill in for our daughter. I dreaded this all week, ever since my husband asked me to fill in for her. I did ok as long as there was only 1 person at a time. When we had more than 3 or 4 people at a time, I freaked out.

    I was so stressed by the time I got off, I went home & took a nap. When I woke up, I found, I had been laying there with my whole body tensed up. My knees were up to my stomach & my hips & behind were killing me. My arms were bent up to my chest. I guess you could say I was in the fetal position. I even had both fist clenched. It took me a day to get everything relaxed, even with the meds.

    I can totally relate to this. I did have a counselor tell me one time about approaching people & talking to them with the eye contact & listening to what they have to say & really be interested in them. It's just that when someone talks to me, I usually talk about myself, like what's going on in my life & I forget to ask them about how they are, or what's going on in their life.

    I have tried to turn this around, but have been unsuccessful. I am usually hurting, so I don't much feel like talking, anyway. So it only makes it worse.

    Please let me know how the cognitive behavior therapy works. I may want to give this a try.

    Hope this works for you.


  17. kriket

    kriket New Member

    Yes. I get these really bad. First my heartrate shootsup, adrenaline seems to woosh over me, then I get a bad tension headache, then I get extremely nervous- sick feeling and the end result is I am drained of energy. The whole time I am talking to someone that I am uncomfortable with, I am thinking about how to end the conversation and get out of the same room with them.

  18. jujubug

    jujubug New Member

    Thanks for giving some feed back on this. Our sons sound so much alike on this subject. i feel i'm letting him drown,and i hate it. Do you think just putting him on meds will help? Tension between my husband (step father)and myself over my son is getting pretty bad. He can't understand the reasons behind why my son can't get a job. On top of everything i think he still has ADD. and has problems with memory.He's actually a great kid and really helps me since i have fibro and osteoarthritis. But...i want him to have a life,meet a girl,get married...all the normal things life has to offer.This thread has helped me see things more clearly,Thanks Judy
  19. jujubug

    jujubug New Member

  20. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Yes, I do have social phobia and it is very hard to live with. I have had it since high school but didn`t know what it was back then.I knew something was wrong but not sure what, at least it feels good to know what is wrong. I was also told by a doctor at one time that I have a fear of people. So that can be another way it comes out.

    My 30 year reuniun is this weekend but I`m not going because I can`t face all those people and talk. I`ll just stand there like an idiot with nothing to say. Beng this sick is hard enough to have to explain to people. Anxiety is even harder because people don`t understand that either unless they have it.

    Its a hard path we are all on and I hope for better days ahead.

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