Anyone out there come to a place of total acceptance of their illness? I do so long to find a place of peace regarding the place this illness (CFS) has in my life and God's plan for my future. I get so angry when I think of living this way for the rest of my life. I am not resigned to do nothing. I am going to get testing for viral and mycoplasmas. I am currently treating intestinal candidiasis. I am trying to change my diet. But realistically, I know that if God does not want me better, nothing I do can change that. I have had CFS for one year and I still cry regularily about all that I have lost and who I used to be (woman with energy). I have learned so much from this illness that has made me know God better, but I still struggle with coming to a place of acceptance. So many Christians have suffered so much for their faith and it bothers me that I do not accept my suffering with faith and trust God with my life - even if it involves illness. I am feeling kind of rebellious sometimes and this puts a wall (in my mind) between me and God. Anyone else relate?