Why can't they just GET IT, and not make us feel so guilty???

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by PepperGirl52, Dec 3, 2006.

  1. PepperGirl52

    PepperGirl52 New Member

    AGH!!! Am I the only one who hates the holidays?? I'm thoroughy convinced that Ebenezer Scrooge had FM/CFS!!

    But besides that, how many times can you tell a friend or family member that you CAN'T go shopping and stay out all day?? That you can't go to a party and be there for hours and hours??? That, God willing, you might just have the energy to make it at all!!

    I'm SOOOO SICK of this! I know that people are 'trying' to include us in what they think is a 'normal' life, but WHEN do they just STOP AND LISTEN TO US??? This is normal to us!!

    OK, here goes: if I don't get in bed for a nap by noon-forget the rest of the freaking day!! No matter what time I wake up in the morning, I HAVE to lie down again later for at least an hour or two. Yes, I used to work full time-for almost 30 years, but HELLO! I am on SSD now-DUH! There's a reason for that! Also, if I have to get in and out of your car, walk around while you are looking for 'deals' in the store, shopping for food, looking for the right color of make-up for more than an hour-forget the rest of the WEEK! I only have so much energy to go around, and I'm sorry, I don't want to waste it on YOUR SHOPPING!

    Why do they think they're doing us a FAVOR asking us to do these things?? I have explained to everyone close to me that I have to call the shots on how I feel-no one else in the whole world knows how I feel except for ME!

    I want and need to go to a church banquet this Friday evening-I'm doing it mostly for my husband. SO...it is absolutely essential that I stay as low as possible for ALL of this week in order to go with him, be there for at least 2-3 hours, and actually not be in excruciating, debilitating, screaming pain. And then our friends walk away and say that WE are the ones who want to isolate ourselves from society. When will they ever GET IT????

    Sorry-I just NEEDED to vent tonight! THANKS!
  2. 1horse

    1horse New Member

    I try not make excuses.. I go and when I feel tired I go home..sometimes it probably not the best thing, but when you are finished ,your finished.. I excuse myself and say Its time to go home...Of course this does not always work...lol...we do the best we can and that is it,....
    Peggy
  3. PepperGirl52

    PepperGirl52 New Member

    I can take my own car, and leave whenever I feel like it??

    The problem here is that my friends and I live outside of a city, so we have to drive about 20 miles to get to a store or nice restaurant. We usually carpool so all of us don't have to put out the gas.

    For the last 6 months or so, I just haven't gone-period. But my girlfriend wanted to take me today as a gift for feeding her cat while she was away. And, here it happened-she got offended when I gave her my parameters! Why?? She has known me for 25+ years, and has seen my decline in the past 2! Why would she think that I am controlling her, or faking it, or 'not living by faith' or whatever??

    It all ends up making ME look like I am the bad guy!!! THAT^ is what really TICKS ME OFF!!!! Oh well. I'm going to just get over it, and move on. That's the way it is. I can't change me, and she sure as hell is not going to by that attitude, either. It's only going to cause a rift.
  4. romanshopper

    romanshopper New Member

    I have lost my christmas money. People don't understand that I cannot think straight. I can't keep up with anything. I get sick when I leave the house.

    I want to cancel Christmas. DH is handling the Santa and I'm glad. He gave me money to buy gifts, and I don't know where i put it. :(

    It would have been so much easier if my family would have just drawn names this year like we did last year, but they wouldn't do it.

    This holiday is killing me. Mentally I just can't keep what to do straight anymore.
  5. lurkernomore

    lurkernomore New Member

    The real stinker is that right about the time that we *think* some of our loved ones understand, they'll turn right around and blow our minds by asking us to things we have told them clearly are **no can do's.**

    Good example, my loving husband has been as good a witness to my limitations as one person can be. He knows that if I do something one day, it can often be a few days before I am able to do anything else requiring bathing, dressing and going out. Uh-huh, he knows all this and yet he just told me he wants me to go to a department dinner with him on the 13th.

    When I explained to him that I do want to go but it will be a push as I have an eye appt. on the 12th and my rheumy appt. is on the 15th, he actually acted dumbfounded and asked me "why?" Der....I dunno, have nooo idea why.

    If I could go every single day I would have a job, have an income of my own...oh yes, and I'd have a social life too please! I do not drive anywhere as I have such problems with my fluctuating vision and brain fog that I feel it is unsafe to others as it would be to myself.

    So that eliminates the solution of going and simply coming home when I begin to wilt. There are so many barriers and reasons why this is a problem. I am not making excuses now, although I spent a great deal of time trying to convince myself that I was and I needed "to just snap out of it." My snapper is broken and this is me now. I'm not depressed, don't need therapy, this is just my life and I'm not having a pity party. I just want to smack a few people who think they know my body better than the person who inhabits it upside the head with a "clue-by-four" now and then.

    Other than that...it's all good! LOL!