Why did the chicken cross the road? :)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Waynesrhythm, Jul 6, 2008.

  1. Waynesrhythm

    Waynesrhythm Member

    Well, my brother just sent me another one. I got some good chuckles out of these. Hope you do too!

    Regards, Wayne :)

    Why did the chicken cross the road? I guess it all depends on who you ask.

    The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

    My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me . . .

    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

    Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road . . .

    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    To die in the rain. Alone.

    Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#%$;,^C%........ reboot.

    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!

    Did I miss one?

    Where's my gun?

    Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

    Mmm . . . chicken . . . beer . . .
    [This Message was Edited on 07/06/2008]
  2. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Hi Wayne,

    That is to funny. Where did you get all of them? Thanks alot for sharing !!

    Blessings. Granni
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    arguably the most famous riddle in modern times, was invented sometime before WWI by Al. B. Smart (which he pronounced I'll be smart).

    Smart was a mildly successful vaudeville comic; real name Irwin J. Beanfrapple. He apparently made more money selling jokes and skits to other comics than from his own appearances.

    His career was seriously impacted during a rehearsal in Cincinnati when a klieg light fell on his head. Thereafter he lived w/ a sister who took care of him. It appears, however, that his masterpiece, the chicken riddle, appeared after his injury.

    His sister Patience later said that she thought he first proposed the momentous question after a Sunday chicken dinner while the family was enjoying the sun on the front porch.

    "Irwin was just swinging quietly in the glider when all of a sudden it popped out of his mouth. Two days later my father sold the joke to comic Bert Williams for $5 and that's all there is to it."

    Patience was still alive when the fledging PBS did a documentary on the history of vaudeville, Although she was too frail to appear on the show, her granddaughter appeared on the show and read the riddle in its original form.

    "Why did the little, yellow chicken cross the road?" The granddaughter found being on TV so exciting she resolved to seek a show business career herself. After some experimentation, she settled on the name Bette Midler.

  4. teacher

    teacher New Member

    Especially since I had JUST finished a chicken sandwich before I read this post!! hee hee
  5. mezombie

    mezombie Member

    Thanks for the laughs, Wayne! These are great: silly and intelligent at the same time!

    (And thanks for your contribution, Rockgor)

  6. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Cracked me up (like an egg?)..........Boo

    loved this, thanks for sharing. Loved Rock's info also.

    BILLCAMO New Member

    At least it's much safer for the chicken to cross the road now......

    The promise of a chicken in every pot was not kept.

    And the promise of a car in every garage did not include being able to afford one ....AND .....being able to buy gas for it ! (A parked car doesn't run over chickens).

    Also , PETA members escort chickens across the road now a days.

    So , HIP HIP HORRAY for our brave chickens who have endured so much ! :>)

    Blessings ,

    [This Message was Edited on 07/08/2008]
  8. caffey

    caffey New Member

    As kids we were told the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side. I know sigh, groan...
  9. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    The armadillos chase the chickens across the road and while the chickens all make it successfully to the other side, the armadillos just aren't quite fast enough........
  10. Gingareeree

    Gingareeree New Member

    Very funny!!! Loved em' Thanks, Jeanne
  11. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    to: http://www.voshy.com/jokes/view.php?id=10006

    you can find more of the same. Didn't want to post it here as it is rather long.

    Thought not, of course, as long as the road we all travel.

    For some men take the high road,
    And some men take the low.
    And every man must choose
    The way his soul shall go.

    I'd cite the author, but I can't remember.

  12. therealmadscientist

    therealmadscientist New Member

    Everyone has an opinion, but no one goes out and actually studies what is really going on.

    Very likely some truly scientific observations would reveal some interesting, fact based, discoveries.

    I mean, we really need to observe about a thousand chickens in various controlled environments. Enough of this anecdotal, randomly collected, knowledge.

    Perhaps we need a flat area, with and without a road present, and study avian ground travel.

    Perhaps the road is irrelevant to the chicken. They may travel randomly in all directions.

    Or, perhaps, chickens are aesthetically attracted to roads? Are some depressed?

    Meanwhile, thousands of chickens are probably killed every year, some by impaired drivers.

    Perhaps a grant could be applied for from the Department of Agriculture?

    So many questions. LOL
    [This Message was Edited on 08/09/2008]
  13. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Jean. You always look on the bright side, as advised by Erick Idle.

  14. victoria

    victoria New Member

    at this whole thread....!