Today, during an argument, my fiance asked me a very poignient question..."Why do you have to be like this?" We are both new to the actual diagnosis, despite I have been living with the illness for about 6 years. The question got me thinking. Why do any of us have to "be like this?" I never have been big on the "poor me" bit, but it gets frustrating sometimes. We are all beautiful, smart, caring people. We deserve to be able to live our lives fully. I've always been the type to take action...do something. Well, I AM managing the illness, but that doesn't stop the bad days from coming, it only slows them a bit. The biggest problem has been the mental ups and downs and severe mood swings. They are taking a huge toll on my personal life, my career, and my relationship. The other day I had a discussion with my fiance's 80 year old uncle and he was saying how spry he was in his twenties and how the body changes with age. I began to wonder, if I make it to 80, what terrible shape I'll be in. I'm 28 and I feel like I'm 50 or 60. I manage pretty well, but I just wonder what the future holds for someone like me. Sometimes I feel like it's nearly impossible to keep hope that someday I'll feel better. But without hope, I know I won't be any better. Thus the cycle completes itself. Unfortunately, without a cure we have no difinitive answers. Only more and more questions. Thanks for listening. I really hate to be negative. I try to be as positive as I can, just having a difficult "mental" day today.