Why do we have forums?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ChungieDolor, Oct 30, 2009.

  1. ChungieDolor

    ChungieDolor New Member

    If no one is going to respond to messages? Sad that it has come to this. I just returned to this site to see if it had changed at all. Looks like certain e-mails are responded to and if you use super duper vocabulary that few understand?

    It's true. and the sad part of it all is that we are in the same boat with these horrible illnesses, We have endured endless hours of pain, misery, only afraid to post something for fear someone will be offended.

    I don't know about the rest of you, but I lost a lot of friends for this senseless dd, and I have not talked to my family in a month because they are too judgemental, and feel I should S it up. I really hate that phrase!

    Can't we all get along and respect each other. Have fun again. We need it, we deserve it, and heck, I am going to move onward! Have a great day, and please do not be offended.

    *****Sat 2;20pm, Tucson Time. Happy Halloween to everyone! Oh no, you say. Its that needy, flipped out chic who lost it yesterday. Just back to say, I am very sorry that I overreacted. You are absolutely right, you should always ask questions, and tell people what you need before making assumptions. Repeating is not such a bad thing for us, especially with fibro fog.

    Anyways, I decided to make a banana smoothie rather then opt for the halloween candy and cup of Java. I should know by now, that too much caffeine and sugar is not a good combo for fibro, let alone anyone. We tend to choose the wrong things in life to make it right, and we all pay dearly!

    I guess I was looking for a sense of belonging, and understanding that I have not had for a long time. Or maybe, its years and years of no sleep, that made me slip. Regardless, I decided to do some investigation on my own. And sometimes, it is what people don't know and need to find out, that helps a person fully understand.

    I do not want to make this into a novel, but you learn something new everyday! I found that message boards, chat rooms, and support groups are all different, and offer their own unique flavor. If one is looking for information, message groups are the place to be. If you are looking for more of a one on one dialogue, chat rooms and support groups is a better option. Not to say that all of them are not rewarding, they are.

    I did a search under fibromyalgia support groups and learned that every forum is in fact different, different ideas, ways of welcoming, and so on. It makes a difference, and the bottome line is, we are all here to learn, and we should make this a more positive experience rather then a negative one.

    Have a great day!

    Chungiedolor [This Message was Edited on 10/31/2009]
  2. FibroFay

    FibroFay New Member

    I haven't been posting much lately and I'm not sure what's bothering you, but I wanted to say Hello and I'm glad you returned to the board.

    This place has some really good people who will respond if you want to talk. There are some who never respond to me. That's fine. I just take what I can use and leave the rest. I try hard not to get involved in the arguments and bickering. I feel that has no place here. But, some seem to thrive on that. I just let go of that.

    I hope to get to know you better, and I hope many respond to your posts.

    Best wishes,
  3. wendysj

    wendysj New Member

    Hi ChungieDolor!

    I was thinking about that last night while I was trying to fall asleep. I read something a person said on another board here and it upset me. They said something like, there's too much bickering on the CFS/FM board, so I avoid it.

    I know there are many issues that will come up that need to be debated but there is a difference between debating and letting emotions get involved. Since this dd has sucked the life out of us, it is very difficult to leave the emotions out of a debate but we can do it.

    What I think we all need to remember before we hit the "submit" button is a "newbie" may be reading this... What will this come across as to that "newbie", helpful and/or supportive or drama? We all need helpful tips and support and I'm sure NONE of us need added drama.

    I just hope that the boards don't lose someone who is coming to us as a last-ditch effort to find someone - anyone - who cares/understands what they are going through.

    I will say that I have learned SO much from the different theories, ideas, opinions, etc. that are here on the boards and hope to learn more.

  4. spacee

    spacee Member

    But we do have an ignor button if someone is annoying to us. I have had to do that to a person. Much less frustrating to me.

    I have lost every friend I ever had. We moved to this town when I was already sick and the few people I have gotten to know were never really "friends" cause I just could not keep up with them.

    These people here are the only people I have.

    I am sticking with them!

  5. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Meditate on these and you will feel alot better. In fact I wish everyone here would read it. I have been here for many years and it comes in cycles. Sometimes we have a great group who all reach out to help others with love and compassions. It is the most beautiful thing you can imagine.

    Then we have some people who seem to be very immature, sometimes cruel, self centered, etc. Everyone should "live and let live" here. There is NEVER a reason to argue or upset someone else. If you don't agree, leave it alone. No one has to agree with you about everything. Even if you don't agree and feel you MUST write something, you can always be tactful and kind. If you are incapable, then don't answer.

    To me the most chicken thing is to dump alot of hostility on someone and sign off, just to leave the person hurt and upset. Compounding the problem, because we are sick, are much more sensitive so it winds up causing pain, lack of sleep, tears, etc. It is really worth it to hurt someone. Is being RIGHT worth it? I will answer -NO.

    Here is another saying "you can win the battle and lose the war", Personally, people who have hurt me here, I never forget. They might but I don't.

    The Four Agreements

    Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

    Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

    Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life

    Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

    Love yourself and everyone else (if possible)

  6. JLH

    JLH New Member

    This format of the boards is all new to me. I haven't been on for a while and when I came back, everything was different.

    I see now that they have a separate CFS board, but why then does a lot of posters still use the FMS board for their CFS posts? Just wondering.