Why does this illness make me/us depressed?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by DoveL, Jul 14, 2009.

  1. DoveL

    DoveL Member

    Hey there all.

    I have CFS/FMS, and am going thru a terrible 'cycle' of depression. I have NEVER been a depressed person in my life before this illness! I find that my depression 'cycles' just like CFS/FMS. I am in a terrible bought of depression right now(the last few weeks). I don't know if the physical part of this disease is worse, or the mental depression that comes with it?? What a double whammy!

    It is bad enough dealing with the struggles of these symptoms, and the losses of friends, finances, and work...that is depressing enough, but I can 'move on from that'. But I am just not understanding this deep depression. Maybe it is the fatigue and pain on the brain!

    I try to read positive books, and watch funny movies to keep my spirits up, but no luck!

    I just started to take tryptophan again (a supplement), to help with depression. Hope it kicks in soon! Most antidepressants did not agree with me.

    Anyway, thanks for the vent, I know there are lots out there dealing with this too! I just feel like I have to hide my depression as well as this illness too, and have knowone to talk to about this!

  2. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I have exactly the same thing and was never like this before the darn cfs/fm . I think the darn depression/anxiety is worse than the physical but does the physical cause the mental? the mental is horrible.

    Please let me know if the tryptophan works as I haven't found an antidepressant I can tolerate.
    However, I do take xanax for anxiety which takes the edge off.

    I do wish I had an answer for you but all I can do is relate to your misery.

    Good luck with the tryptophan and let me know.. My doc wanted me to try L-tryptophan he said be sure and get the L-tryptophan I think they are same thing ...

  3. DoveL

    DoveL Member

    Thanks for the replies Jaminhealth and greatgran,

    Jamin, my doc keeps a close eye on my vitamin D...It was low a few years back, but now I take 5000 IU of D a day. So my levels are way up. My doc is alternative/MD. I have been tested for thyroid problems so many times by so many doctors (alternative ones too), but who knows If I have something that is not showing up? I think these docs always blame all of the symptoms on CFS-FMS, and are not looking for underlying ones?!

    Great Gran, sorry you are feeling the same way. I take .5mg of xanax as well; right before bedtime. I will be sure to let you know if the tryptophan works. I get mine from Life Extensions (the name of the company) I know a few years ago; it helped alot with my pain, so now I am trying it for the depression. I will post it as soon as I find out if it is working or not.


  4. kriket

    kriket New Member

    I feel it makes us depressed because we are not able to do the things we once were able to do. Also, we fight pain almost 24/7 and it wears us out.

    Guilt from not being able to help our families as much as we'd like makes us feel depressed or it does me.

    It's just a constant battle, therefore we just get depressed.

  5. jaynesez

    jaynesez New Member

    I myself have suffered from major depression since hitting puberty, just didn't know what it was then; it is the pits, and I can remember waking up every morning just wishing that I hadn't. I would cry for no reason, and nobody could understand the agony I was going through and neither could I, quite honestly (this was before I had FM & CFS). I have tried numerous ADs over the years, some helped, some didn't, but the truly weird thing is that when I got sick with FM (was hit hard) after some time I realized that the major depression went away. Some chemical change must have happened, I don't know. That being said, I still suffer from depression but it's caused by the obvious limitations of this illness, the loss of friends, family, fun, etc. I hope to GOD I never go through those major episodes again, because it is the very worst! Please try and hang in there, realize that it will pass, and perhaps, like I plan to, look for a counselor or therapist. I don't want to take any more medications, and it would be helpful I think to find someone who deals with these types of issues. The main thing is though is find yourself a positive mantra, like "it will pass" or It'll be better" (sorry, brainfog affecting me, I'm sure there is better ones you can think of). Anyways, if it doesn't let up soon, please try and find someone to talk to, or see a dr. for medication. Know that you're not alone, and that the depression can often be the worst part of these illnesses.
    I hope that you find some peace soon, I know how you feel!
  6. DavidJ.

    DavidJ. New Member

    hi there,

    just google depression and ebv or hhv 6 and you will know. hhv 6 is very very dangerous, i can distinguish the depression caused by ebv and hhv 6, because i didnt get them at the same time. hhv6 really destroys your mental health, makes you wanna die etc...
  7. DoveL

    DoveL Member

    Hello everyone,

    Thank you so much for posting-replying to me. I am sorry to hear that others are feeling the same way too :(

    Jamin.....Thanks for the info...I am just wondering who would I go to (what doctor), that would perscribe these hormones to me? I have probably been to about 100 doctors (no joke), in the past 9 years. Now I have only one doctor that is great; she takes my insurance, and is alternative, MD., and it is a center for Chronic Illness too! But she keeps insisting that the thyroid is well...I probably have to find a doc who is willing to 'think outside the box', meaning outside of normal test results. I am pretty sure I have a booklet somewhere with a list of alternative docs who perscribe bioidentical hormones, which I got from the internet a while back..The problem right now though is money!

    I have been reading alot of articles with Susan Sommers; and seen her in alot of interviews. I know that she is into bioidentical hormones (So the Armour is the natural solution, instead of the Synthroid??-excuse me-brain fog is kickin' in as it gets late!)

    Thank you again!
    May everyone have a pain free night!
  8. DoveL

    DoveL Member

    Hey all,

    Thank you again for all of your posts, it means alot to have support in a time of need! :) Reading them gives me comfort, knowing I am not (unfortunately) alone.

    Jamin-thank you again for the info! I am going to check out that website. I also experience MAJOR hair loss-shedding. I know it can by a symptom of CFS/FMS as well. Did you have any hair loss? Thank Goodness I had extra thick hair! That is what makes me think even more about this thyroid stuff. I will be sure to keep you posted if I find a doc (and get up some money), to look into this!

    Have a great night!
    Hugs to all.

  9. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    It is absolutely normal to go through bouts of depression. I mean look at all we're dealing with!
    I've never been depressed before either. I have however, especially in the last year have gone through stages where I've cried at the drop of a hat. I've also cried my eyes out on my bathroom floor almost to the point of hyperventilation.

    I think that people who don't have severe CFS or Fibro don't really understand how devastating it can be - how life changing it really is.

    Yes thyroid can effect you, but also don't dismiss that you are really dealing with a lot.

    No disrespect meant at all, but some people think thyroid and Vit D is the answer to everything, when they may not have the disabling condition. Although it/they can certainly be a contributor.

    First thing is you need to have your labs done. Any doctor can do that. If they are not normal, any doctor can treat that. Google Thyroid symptoms and see how many you have. If you have any, talk to your Dr. about it. My Dr. fortunately listened to my symptoms and ignored my lab work. My labs were actually on the 'good end'. Truthfully I haven't noticed any difference in the way I feel.
    I am currently on an AD and it has helped. I found that it keeps me from worrying about 'tomorrow' so much. I still feel all of my emotions.

    What lab work did you have done when you were diagnosed? Did your Dr. test your for Vit D levels? If not, they should have - it's sort of the standard test done to rule out. That can make you feel down as well.
  10. WOW I was just going to post something about being depressed. This is the worst I have ever felt. I had knee surgery, that hurts but is healing. BUT my bladder is irriated, no infection according to the dr test but it hurts bad no less. I have had pain behind my ears, pressure, sinuses stuffed up and it is just one thing after another. We fibro people can't seem to catch a break. I am so exhausted also. Aussiewoman I believe it was said it correctly "Our dreams are shattered, ours lives stolen. " And thats the truth,

    I want my old life back, I wouldn't be depressed if I could feel well at least once in awhile, its one thing after another. Who wouldn't be despressed.This 8o's woman at PT where I go has all this energy and is 20 yrs younger than me. Sad but true. I have zip energy.
  11. momof27

    momof27 New Member

    please know we all suffer so much with that, I am on amitripiline but " I DID IT MY WAY" and it works awsome I just take half of the lowest dose and it is a blessing! I have never up'ed the dose or started to high and its a life saver.
  12. deborahk

    deborahk New Member

    hi there im sorry to here you are feeling depressed. My husband has had me/cfs for nearly two years he also suffers depression the only thing i can say to him is try not to let this illness get you down.
  13. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Are you new? Welcome to the board.

    Take a look at my profile. May be something there you would like to try.
    Just click on my name above. If it doesn't open, try again later.

    You might want to visit the chit chat board. Good place to socialize.
    Talk about kids, pets, TV, music, recipes, etc.

    I have been taking vitamin D3 at Jam's suggestion. Helps a lot. Can
    be bought right here on the board.

    Good luck

  14. ladybugmandy

    ladybugmandy Member

    i spend 100% of the day severely depressed. i don't even know why i continue to live - that is a mystery. maybe i am just too scared to do it.

    this is going to sound nuts, but even when i sometimes believe that one day i might get a little better, i still want to die.

    so many losses...and more to come..its too much.
  15. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    I myself am going through a depressive period myself. I have FM. I was diagnosed in my 30's and am now 44, but have felt awful since I was maybe 20 years old. I suffered from a very mild depression when I was younger because I never felt well.

    I thought that being diagnosed would at least help me understand what I have, but that doesn't work either. Like you, antidepressants do not agree with me, as a matter of fact, taking them years ago only made my FM worse in the long run, that is even more depressing.

    I could have wrote your post. I try to watch comedians, which I normally love, and funny movies, but it just isn't strong enough to combat this condition.

    As far as hiding your depression and FM, I feel like I can be at time the best actress in the world, I hide this horrible condition all the time and it is wearing me out terribly.

    I just went to my local heatlh food store and bought some tea with cammomile and passionflower herbs, I rememer this tea helping me to sleep better, can't wait to take it tonight so I can just forget about my pain and fatigue and lack of life.

    This condition is a "double Whammy" and the WORST part of it is this: You can't escape it, it is with you all the time, I wake up with it and go to bed with it, like a nightmare closing in.

    I am so sorry, my post is not helping you any and I guess I am ranting as well. Hope your new supplement will give you some hope. Hugs to you, Chelz.
  16. spacee

    spacee Member

    I have low serotonin but can't take antidepressants. Have tried all the natural things too. (I have an unusual problem caused by a med a doc gave me 23 years ago for my bladder. That is why I can't take the stuff I mentioned).

    A doc suggested that I try SAMe. I have tried different kinds. I have read online that the best ones are sold by GNC and Nature Made at Walgreens. At first I bought the other ones...ones here and at Vitamin World. I had to take 400mg three times a day to "feel" anything.

    Now I take one 400mg of the Nature Made from Walgreens and that is all I need. It has made a huge difference for me. It isn't cheap. About $1 a day.

    I also need the Vit D. I can tell if I have missed a few days that I need it.

    I did not find that the SAMe helped my joint pain. But I am hoping it is helping my liver.

    Best Wishes to you!

  17. DoveL

    DoveL Member

    Thank you everyone for all of your posts and replies; I read every post, and each was of great support to me!

    Jana and Fibrobutterfly, true it is depressing 'for the loss of our old self. I wonder if I will ever stop grieving the losses. I have tried therapy for years after I got ill...It did not seem to work for the topic of moving on from mourning the old me. I am looking into other areas of therapy, but of course, money is a factor to find a therapist that does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy,or one that deals with chronic illness.

    Momof27, I am going to research that drug you are taking. I am not even sure if somewhere along the line I tried that. I know what you mean by; you 'take your own dose'. Whatever the doc gives me, I always start with half.

    Rockgor, thank you for your tips. :) I have been around this board for years; on and off.. sometimes I just read, and not post. I have been in the chat room a few times over the last few weeks. Maybe I will see you int there!

    Ladybug, I hope you are ok. Are you out there? I hope you would not do anything to harm yourself! Please know that you are not alone, we are all here for you...going thru the same thing.

    Spacee, I almost forgot about the SAME.. I think I took that when I first got ill about 9 years ago; but was taking so much stuff, I was not sure if it was working! If this Tryptophan does not work within 2-4 weeks, that is my next step to take that.
    I am trying my hardest to be 'proactive' in fighting this illness and my depression, but it seems to be 'winning' lately! I wish someone would just help me; and say; ok..do this, here is a therapist that will help your situation, a pain doctor that will help your pain, and ect ect. It is like I have to do all this myself, and for 9 years has been like 'trying to find a needle in a haystack'. I call this the 'cure yourself illness'.

    Anyway, I am going on a rant, writing a book here.
    Hugs to all, and thank you again!
    I will be sure to keep everyone posted if the tryptophan works for my depression.

    [This Message was Edited on 07/19/2009]
    [This Message was Edited on 07/19/2009]
    [This Message was Edited on 07/19/2009]
  18. DoveL

    DoveL Member

    PS. I do take 5000 IU of vitamin D, as my alternative doc said to a few years ago, to 'get it to where it should be'. (as it was low) Initally it made me feel a bit better, but like anything else I have tried, that feeling of 'feeling better' eventually wore off. I wonder why that happens!?

  19. LindaJones

    LindaJones New Member

    people with chronic illnesses can have secondary depression
    a psychologist who specializes in helping people with chronic illness can help with coping skills
  20. patchesofsunshine

    patchesofsunshine New Member

    We're grieving for ourselves, the loss of life as it was and as it never will be, and fear of what it might be in the future. Let yourself grieve and then reach for a Bible and hit the Psalms first then keep a good concordance nearby to find other passages that you need. The trick is not to let it beat us. Easier said then done.

    (Nancy S.)