Why is every little thing such a monumental task?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by donna13210, Jul 24, 2003.

  1. donna13210

    donna13210 Member

    You know, the muscle pain, brain fog and constant exhaustion are bad enough.

    But I'm finding myself becoming such a procrastinator because every little hill seems like such a MOUNTAIN! Even things like making a phone call to make an appointment!

    What is up with this? Does this happen to you too?

    You can forget things like cleaning and paying bills. I'll tell myself "tomorrow" because I can't (or don't want to) deal with it.

    Is it the disorder or is it my brain?

    I'd appreciate your thoughts on this. It wreaks havoc on my self-esteem, the little bit I have left.

    Thanks

  2. ozgran

    ozgran New Member

    I think this is just part of this DD. In my work I was a co-ordinator of programs etc and had to make sure everything was arranged on time etc. NOW, I put it off till tomorrow and then forget all about it.I forget to pay bills too, or else, i go to pay them twice!!! It is very frustrating but that's just how it goes for me now. Don't let it get you down. Love Ozgran.
  3. Jen F

    Jen F New Member

    you are experiencing what many of us have and are currently experiencing.

    I get a lot of use out of the overcoming procrastination course I took at university, and that stupid movie: "what about Bob?"

    Meaning, I tell myself I will just do 5 minutes and then reward myself. Because starting is the hardest. So, you psych yourself up and do just 5 minutes if that's the best you can do, but often once you start you realize you can do a little more. The reward helps motivate me to do/start that mountainous task like feeding the cat! lol!

    then, the movie which had a psychology book about taking "baby steps" was supposed to be a joke, but I actually keep that in mind. Sometimes I have to do jobs in little tiny baby steps. Just like what Richard Dreyfus's doctor character recommends to Bob in the movie.

    jen
  4. babyjoan

    babyjoan New Member

    Yes, yes, yes, This is exactly the biggest problem beside the pain is the constant exhaustion. I am still working full time, however, I am fortunate because I am a Director where I work and I can actually just sit at my computer and appear to be working when I could just lay my head on the desk and sleep. If I go home because of my symptons I can't sleep. It just feels that way all the time, thats incredibly frustrating. Believe me, this is the way many of us live. Just to answer the phone can be overwhelming at time. Hang in there, sleep when you can, come to the message board if you need support. We are all here for each other. Peace.

    Babyjoan
  5. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    Unfortunately, in my marriage I was the one to do those things, hubby won't talk on the phone, and never has been good getting to things--I was the motivator (he probably calls it - instigator). Then when we don't deal with things in a timely fashion, they grow into a bigger problem. Although dx'd over twenty years ago, this INability to make decisions has occurred over the past 3-4 years. It is making my life much more difficult. I have been trying extra hard to combat the problem but am giving myself permission NOT to feel guilty. Fondly, June
  6. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    I suppose other people might think we're procrastinators, but none of us seem to think so. And since we're the experts when it comes to what we can and can't do, I'd guess we're "right". To top it off, I have notes and paper all over the place so my home really looks untidy. (Good thing I live alone since an SO might have a problem with it.) Everything that has to be done gets placed on the table so I know/remember to deal with it. It's really weird when the table gets cleared off and I have no backup of things that have to be done, but that changes in short order....

    I just do the next thing that has to be done. And I do it in the morning, which is when I'm most able. When I finish my one task for the day, I move on to the next if I have the energy. If I have energy in the afternoon, I try to do something then but sometimes it's hard to get the motivation since after so long it's not a "habit" anymore.

    It took me awhile to figure out this is "okay", but it's what I have to do. If I do what others expect or what I used to be able to do, then I overextend myself and pay for it by NOT being able to do things for several days. Or I make a phone call I shoulnd't because how much energy does a phone call take? Well, I sound like an idiot and when I get off I vow to never do that again. Until the next time I do....

    It's my job now to rest and heal myself, but when I have the energy I feel like I should be doing something. And when you have to push yourself to do even simple things (even when you do have energy), it's even harder. So every 2-3 weeks I actually take a day off. I used to feel guilty about it, but figure if I were healthy and able to work I'd get two days off every week! (Okay, one day every 2 weeks where I didn't have *any* chores.)
  7. bibby

    bibby New Member

    It's one thing that I noticed myself doing at first. I would always think "oh I'll do it when I feel better and then I remember that I probably wouldn't feel much better so I would feel very sorry for myself and just go to bed and stay there. Well that didn't work so I'm trying a different approach to it now. I know that I only have x amount of energy each day to use and it varies from day to day so I have to figure out just what I can do each day before all my energy is gone. When I accomplish what I decided I would be able to do that day, even if it's only pushing the vacumn or just getting out of bed, it makes me feel very good and so helps with my esteem. Anyway that's the way I've been trying to look at it. Hugs!

    Bibby

  8. rlnia

    rlnia New Member

    This is part of the DX of FIBROMYALGIA, I have found. I use to be such a perfectionist and have everything clean and in it's place, my for the last 2 years, since I've been DX with this disease, I have things laying all over the place, as I can only do things when I feel good. I think the dust on my furniture is about 3"'s deep, in some places. I only do what I can, and that's it. It'll all be here tomorrow or till whenever I can do it. I am married and it's been hard for my husband to see this happening. If he complains too much, I tell him, he can do it. Or a better way would be to ask him nicely. I get so exhausted at times that I can't even stand, as by feet kill me too, and the fatigue is like a magnet pulling me down on to the bed, or couch, or floor, and it's pull is too hard to get away from. I do see a pain pyschologist, and I feel she is the only one who is helping me, and at times have improved. With good sleep, good eating, good exercize ( Warm Pool Exercise), and biofeedback. But, with all these related, it's sometimes, oh so hard to get out of the circle of pain, no good sleep, too tired to eat, too fatigued, so I go to bed, and moan and groan. Take baby steps if you can. And at times just accept the fatigue for what it is. Don't go crazy, with this, and if you see yourself getting depressed, be sure to go to the Dr. As at times, I've gotten so very depressed. I know the difference b/ween my feeling depressed & feeling fatigued. So, hang in there, take care of yourself, and I know it's so hard. Know what you/your body/your mind is feeling at the time. Do try when feeling good to take care of maybe just one little thing. That's all 1 thing, sometimes it will get you fatigued, and sometimes it will lead you to a second thing. Take baby steps. It's all.
    Concentrate on taking care of you/your body/your mind. Then take baby steps. My pain pyscologist will always start me off with starting a food diary, which I always find, that I've been to fatigued to eat, or just not hungry, so right there, I know, my body needs good food, fruits and vegi's to get energy, and I start there.
  9. LITEFLAMES

    LITEFLAMES New Member

    HI DONNA,
    MY NAME IS CINDY G,
    I LIKE THE REST OF US HAVE WENT THROW YR'S OF FILLING LIKE THAT,
    PRAISE GOD AT THIS PERTICULIAR TIME ,I GESS I'M IN SOME KIND, OF REMISSION, I'M NOT QUESTIONING IT !!!!!!
    I'M RIGHT NOW IN N.Y WITH MY DAUGHTER WHO IS ACPECTING HER FIRST BABY, WELL SHE'S DO ANY TIME,, I'V BEEN HEAR SENSE LAST SUN NIGHT , AND , AS I USALLY TAKE A NAP EVERY DAY BECUSE OF LOSS OF COMPLEAT ENERGY, I'V ONLY TAKEN ONE NAP
    SENSE I'V BEEN HEAR , ANYWAY, BEFORE I GO ON,,, MY SPELLING SUCK'S SO HOPFULLY YOU CAN MAKE IT ALL OUT , SORRY!!!!
    THE ONLY THING I'V DONE DIFFENTLY IS , I WAS ON THE TRANSFER FACTER FOR MTH'S THEN COULDNT AFORD IT , I NO LONGER WORK {OFCORSE} WELL GOING THREW MY CUBERDS 2 WEEKS AGO , I FOUND ONE BOTTLE OF THE {BIO-VITAMINS}, AND ALSO I'V STARTED A NEW DOSE OF OXXI, W/ HAS HELPED SO MUCH , DIDNT WANT TO GO HIGHER ,,40 MG'S IN MORN 40 AT NIGHT, BUT THE 30 &30 , STOPED WORKING ABOUGHT 2 MTHS AGO , AND HAD TO WAIT TO SEE DR AGAINE,, i TRULY BELEAVE ITS THE COMBO OF ,THE VITAMINS & THE NEW DOSE , DONT GET ME WRONG , I STILL MUST RIGHT EVERY LITTLE THING DOWN , USALLY AS IT COME'S TO ME OR ITS G.O.N.E.!!!!!!!
    BUT , LIKE SOMONE ELSE WROTE YOU , THE SUPLAMENTS TRULY !!!!! HELP, AND THE GOOD SLEEP PART IS A MUST,, I KNOW FOR ME ANYWAY AT HOME IN OHIO, MY FAMILY TENDS TO TREAT ME DIFFERNT , aND THE JOKING SEEM'S TO NEVER STOP, oH CINDY , HAVING THAT FIBER FOG YEA,, NO FIBRO FOG, I THINK , WE MUST EXPLAINE TO THE PEOPLE WE LOVE JUST WHAT THIS DD DOES TO US , I'M GOING TO HOPFULLY PUT MY STOREY IN THAT BOOK, THATS CERQULATING FROM A GREAT LADY ON THIS SIGHT {SEE I FORGET HER NAME , BUT I SAVED IT IN MY FAVORITES!!!!!!1LOL, LAST NIGHT I SLEEP ON A LOVE SEAT ,AND WHEN I WOKE ,,I THOUGHT OH NO NOT ALREADY ,, {THEARS SO MUCH TO DO TO HELP MY SARA , GET READY FOR THIS BABY , I BROUGHT MY OTHER 2 KIDS UP 9-10,,JUST FOR A SMALL VISIT I WAS SAPOSTO LEAVE THIS MORN, MY SARA'S HUSBAND IS IN THE ARMY,, SO HE THOUGHT WE WEAR STAYING ENTILL BABY COME'S ,,,I SAID NO ,I NEED TO GET THEASE OTHER 2 HOME, WELL WEAR NOW STAYING ENTILL TUE , NEXT DR.S APPT & SON-N-LAW WANTS US TO STAY OVER WEEKEND,, I HOPE I HAVENT BORDEND
    YOU, SLEEP, SUPLAMENTS ,, PAIN RELEAVE ] WE NEED ALL THEASE THING'S I ALSO TAKE ANTIDEPRESANTS, KLONAPIN, W/ HELP W/ SLEEP, FLEXARAL, , AND PRAISE GOD I FOUND THE VITOMENS , NOW JUST SO YOU KNOW I H.A.T.E.!!!!!!! PILLS MOM TOOK SO MANY WHEN I WAS YOUNG, TURNED ME RIGHT OFF, THE OXXI SAT IN A CUBERD FOR A WEEK , BEFORE I DARED TAKE IT , BUT IT SOUND'S LIKE YOU REALY NEED HELP, SO GO TO DR GET HELP, BY LAW MY DR,SAID SHE MUST GIVE ME ATAQUIT PAIN RELEAFE, OR I COULD SUE HER ,, IF SHE DIDNT [KNOW KEEP IN MIND { I AM A RECOVERING ATTIC,, MY DR KNOWS THIS AND STILL, SAID IN NOV 02 , CINDY I CANT SEE YOU LIKE THIS ANY MOOR, AFTER 4 YRS, OF SEEING EVERY DR AVALABLE ,, I WAS READY TO DIE LITTERLY, AND HAVE SO MUCH TO LIFE FOR , THE DR SUGJESTED [SPELLING}
    THE OXXI, SHE SAID SHE COULDNT BELEAVE WHAT I LOOKED LIKE, AND SHE ONLY HAS FIVE PEOPLE ON OXXI,, BUT THAT SHE THOGHT I NEEDED IT WELL, LET ME TELL YOU ITS GIVEN ME MY LIFE BACK IN SO MANY WAY'S {DO I STILL HAVE PAIN YES , MY HIP ECT KNEES, W/ OXXI WONT HELP, SO CELEBREX, IT IS A TINEY BIT OFF HELP, OFCORSE A FEW WEEKS BACK , I STAYED UP CRYING THE PAIN WAS SO BAD IN MY L.KNEE TOOK THE CELEBREX, WAITED 20 MINS AND IT DID HELP SOME !!!!!!WELL EVERYONES UP HEAR NOW SO I WILL SAY GOOD BYE,, I HOPE DEAR HART , I HELPED SOME WHAT
    CINDY
    PS .... THEY SELL TRANSFER FACTER ON THIS SIGHT , I'LL SAY A PRAYER RIGHT KNOW FOR YOU, GOD BLESS
  10. Zed1

    Zed1 New Member

    hi donna my name is zed.
    i suffer from tiredness every day you are not alone.
    guess it is part of having sle lupus.
    kind regards z x
  11. Hinemoa

    Hinemoa New Member

    Truly I couldn't understand why I anquished over making a simple phone call!

    Nice not to be alone,

    S.
  12. bitter-sweet

    bitter-sweet New Member

    I used to be highly organized and on top of things, but lately I have never felt so disorganized. It bothers me quite a bit. I have read some things about the "FMS personality", and high achieving, etc. is often found. That's me. I have to learn to lower my standards.
  13. achy

    achy New Member

    I couldn't go thru the day wihtout making the bed...doing the dishes (I HATE dirty dishes in the sink), etc.

    I did all my chores in the AM..so I'd have the afternoon to sew or craft. Now it takes me all day just to do a load of laundry. I rarely make the bed and eventually do the dishes. It's not that I don't want to, I just can't convince my body to move.

    It is definately this DD...and we have to stop being so hard on ourselves. WE ARE SICK...IT IS OK. I understand the self esteem trouble, I get it too, but if you can remember that YOU are doing the best YOU can do that's all that matters. And if somebody else doesn't like the way you do (or don't do something)..make it their responsibility to so it!! LOL

    Warm fuzzies
    Achy
  14. karenq

    karenq New Member

    Hi! I used to cry every month when I tried to pay bills and it was so hard--besides not having enough money to pay them all. When I finally realized the FMS was causing it to be so hard, I don't cry anymore. It's still just as hard, but I just remind myself that I have FMS and that's why it's so hard. That seems to help.

    And yes, it is very hard for me to even make a phone call for an appointment! I totally understand.

    Hope you're feeling better knowing that you're not alone!

    Karen
  15. sandy10seven

    sandy10seven New Member

    You sound exactly like me. Doing a small chore seems like climbing Mt. Everest. House cleaning? What's that? Paying bills? Always late. And mostly I'm too sick to care. Some days, I can only sit up a few minutes at a time.

    IT'S THE DD, NOT YOU! Don't blame yourself. Once every few months when I have a good day and I feel normal, everything seems so EASY to do. It's a whole new world. It's just that when you're so fatigued, achy & foggy, you forget what it's like to feel OK.

    I always think I'm lazy and procrastinating -- then when I actually do feel ok, I understand it's the DD.

    Hang in there,
    Sandy
  16. donna13210

    donna13210 Member

    Thank you all! Your responses made me feel a bit better about myself!

    I'm going to remember the baby steps......one dumb thing I do is let dishes pile up in the sink. (too much work to unload the dishwasher). Then when I HAVE to do them, it's this huge pile and a HUGE task! I swear I'm going to try to do them more often, maybe daily, so they won't pile up.

    I tend to do the same thing with laundry (eternal procrastinator). The loads get so heavy I can hardly carry them down to the basement!

    Accepting things that don't get done is hard. There's so many that I NEVER get to because the mandatory things (dishes, laundry, etc.) seem to take all my energy. There's so much hair spray on my bathroom floor my daughter asked me if I was "decopuaging" the floor! (spelling?)

    LOL!!!

    RLNIA: A special thanks to you for giving me the description for which I've been searching for months and months!! The "magnet pulling you down towards the floor" wording is absolutely IT! I could never describe it to anyone besides fatigue and muscle weakness, which is not very descriptive. This is absolutely how I feel daily!!

    Cindy, I will look into the Transfer Factor. Sounds worth a try. Also, I'm sorry you've been through so much and still in pain.

    I really need to look into some serious pain relief. As well as more and deeper sleep.

    But, geez, that would involve a PHONE CALL wouldn't it?? OH NO!!! (ha ha). Hey, if I don't laugh at myself sometimes, I'd cry!

    THANKS TO ALL AGAIN! If I come up with any helpful tips, I'll be sure to let you know.
  17. dolsgirl

    dolsgirl New Member

    with dogdazed. dolsgirl
  18. sumbuni

    sumbuni New Member

    DEAR DONNA,
    I HAVE BEEN SO TIRED FOR SO LONG I CHECKED MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE TO SEE IF THAT IS MY MIDDLE NAME!!! I EVEN ASKED MY MOM WAS I BORN TIRED AND EXHAUSTED!!! I KNOW PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN SO TIRED OF MY SAYING "I'M SO TIRED",
    OR IF THEY ASK HOW I AM "I'M SO TIRED". I WOULD FEEL SO BLESSED IF ONE DAY I WERE TO WAKE UP FEELING LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS INSTEAD OF A BUCK 2.99!!!!!!(IN THE RED!)

    I NOW KNOW THAT I HAVE SOMETHING TRULY WRONG...BUT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. I AM STILL WORKING...(I THINK YOU CAN CALL WHAT I DO WORKING...I'M SUPPOSED TO BE ANYWAY)...AND WE ARE WORKING 55 TO 58 HOURS A WEEK (MON-SAT)AND IT'S REALLY AND TRULY MORE THAN I CAN DO...AND NOTHING GETS DONE AT HOME. WHEN I TELL MY DEPT. MGR THAT I HAVE TO LEAVE AFTER 8 HOURS TO GO TO THE DOCTOR, HIS REPLY IS "YOU LOOK A LOT BETTER THAN YOU DID WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED HERE...YOUR COLOR IS GREAT!"...I NOT ONLY HAVE LOW BODY TEMP, BUT MY 98.2 DEGREE TEMP. SEND ME INTO A SWEAT, WHICH LEAVES ME CHILLED TO THE BONE...POOR OLD MAN, HE CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "GOOD HEALTHY COLOR" AND "FEVER" ((SMILE))

    HANG IN THERE, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, AND BOY DOES IT FEEL GOOD TO KNOW THAT WE AREN'T...BUT STILL I'M REALLY SORRY THAT ANYONE ELSE FEELS SO BLASTED BAD...ALOT OF US!
  19. EZBRUZR

    EZBRUZR New Member

    I was fearing some evil thing was the cause of stand, stare,forget why i am where i am,and if my arms weren't so heavy i could do some housework.Sounds like it is just this DD.Is this a payback for trying so long, so hard ,and for so many others than self ? I hope ya get some of whatever helps control this,and find peace. Lisa P.S. if you are lucky like me you'll drop all the dishes and glasses that are breakable,see i have less stress nowto worry about breaking! LOL :)

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