****WHY ME****

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by SherylD, Feb 2, 2006.

  1. SherylD

    SherylD Guest

    Everyday I go through the day thinking why me..I just don't get it. What did I do to deserve this..I must have done something really awful to have to feel like this every single day...I almost feel like I am being punished for something...

  2. sarahann61

    sarahann61 New Member

    I know, I have had the same thought ,cross my mind. I sure dont want all of these DD's.. And , I don't like the people, that dont have any problems, think they are so much tougher ,and better than me....... But, if someone has to have them, and I could pass them on, I don't know anyone, that I could do that, too. So, I just have to learn to live them, and say ,why not me...

    I do not believe it is my fault, but have to admit, I have not taken very good care of me. I don't think it was anyone eles's fault, either... It is something that I have to get through, and most of the time I don't do it very well...... I have good days, sometimes .....

    I think it is fine to cry , and feel bad that we are sick. It is alright to talk about it, even though most people do not want to hear it.. But, we cannot dwell on it..

    So, it is good that we have these boards, where most everyone can understand,, Because, we all go through it, at some time ,or another.

    Hope you will feel better very soon..........................
  3. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    Dear.....you are certainly not alone.

    I have been suffering with this for so many years....only getting worse.

    I sometimes get so down and out about it.

    I have such a understanding husband....but even though he is there for me....he can hurt me sometimes...without even meaning to do it.

    Like today...I was in pain all of last night...slept in spare b'room...so that I could move around ALL night.

    This morning I was talking to him about it...and looked and he was drifting off to sleep! I guess he gets so bored with all this!

    I know that as hard as our loved ones try...they can't understand...as they don't know how we feel.

    That is what is so wonderful about this board of people. There is always someone there that can understand!!

    I am there for you...as so many others!

    Hope that you can find this helpful sweetie!!

    Hang in there....MamaR
  4. SherylD

    SherylD Guest

    Thanks to all of you..I'm sorry for being so bumbed out..

    Some days I just can't take it anymore..

    Yesterday I had talk to an old friend that I hadn't talk to for a while and I just feel like I don't have anything good to say..I just get so sick of it...There for I just don't call my friend any more..They don't want to hear what I have to say..

    Nobody wants to hear it anymore..That is all I talk about..I'm sure everybody gets sick of it...

    It like consumes you..Where you can't think of anything else..DRIVES ME CRAZY..Then I feel like I am going crazy..
  5. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    I feel like I've been "hobbled". I feel as if I get up and get going and feel relatively normal and then WHAM...I start getting sick again.

    It's a never ending battle and it makes us with FM/CFS even worse for wear.

  6. saphire27

    saphire27 New Member

    i think that too when i have really bad days.

    Sometimes i don't get it.

    Now iknow it's not my fault

    I think maybe some normal people take things for granted, simple things they can do, maybe it's to set an example?

    Or maybe it's to let us know not to take life and what we can do for granted.

    This past year, i thought i was going to die. I was very sick, breathing was a chore. I realized that i took being able to breath, use my arms & legs, the good days, took all that for granted. It's normal in all of us though. I even pay more attn to my kids now. All i can say is sometimes i take it as a wake up call. Maybe "I'm " special??LOL, don't really know. Maybe i'm god's tool? thats okay too, if only he can sit with me and have a talking to. That would be great!

    you take care!
  7. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    but try not to go there too much. I havent done anything, you havent done anything to deserve this. We arent being punished by anyone.

    Have you seen the gangsters, thieves etc that go around and have high living lives and they dont get sick.

    Try to be positive Sheryl, it's not easy but it will help you a lot.

  8. SherylD

    SherylD Guest

    I do need to look at the positive things..And quit dweling on this..

    I do need to realize that people do have things way worse and I should be thankful for what I've got..I lose sight of that ALOT..

    It's just so hard when you can't think straight..Or focus on anything..

    I just can't let go go of how I use to be...I MISS IT SOOOOO MUCH. I miss me.

    Glad you guys are here to listen..
    [This Message was Edited on 02/03/2006]
  9. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    There are people worse off than us but that doesnt help our situation.

    It took me a very long time to come to terms with this illness, I've had symptoms since early 80s and got it severely end of 94. Took me a whole year of bereavement process when I had to give my job up.

    So dont worry about feeling bad, it's natural, just try to work your way through the anger, sadness, depression etc. and you'll come out the end, a much stronger person.

    These feelings will pass.

    As for friends, well you will find out who they are. I've lost touch with people because like you say they dont want to know about people with a chronic illness.

    Take care and dont beat yourself up about this.

  10. Kimelia

    Kimelia New Member

    I really like the way you responded to this post. You are so upbeat and try to stay educated. You are an inspiration to us all :) I know there are other people out there who are inspirational too, I just keep running into storms posts! heheh
  11. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I've been through therapy several times in life when I felt like it might help--it did! Getting illnesses like ours throws us into some serious coping problems. Therapy can help, especially grief therapy. We go through the grieving process because we have lost our health and in some cases, our livlihood and/or relationships. We may even feel we've lost ourselves in the process.

    Asking, "Why me?" is normal, but we eventually need to move beyond that stage. Therapy can help us do that.

    I also suggest not believing that there is nothing which can be done for our illnesses. Many of us have made tremendous progress. It can be agonizingly slow, but it's progress nonetheless. It's also trial and error as nothing works for all of us. Read what is helping others here and consider what might work for you. That is how I found all my treatments. I have both FMS and CFIDS and have made progress with both. I'm not well--yet, but I am optimistic and believe I will continue to heal and that one of these days, there will be a cure.

    I was, at one time, bedridden most of the time and on Morphine for pain, about as bad as it gets. Instead of giving into despair, I decided to fight for my health. It has paid off. I am trying to get well enough so that I can work part time.

    I'm telling you this because I think you need to know that it's not hopeless. The one thing which makes the difference is that we need to take control of our own healing. This puts us in a position of power. Knowledge is everything. Learn all you can about these illnesses and find good docs willing to work with you. Don't put up with bad docs, ever. Make positive changes one at a time and see what a difference it can make.

    Good luck to you and God bless you.

    Love, Mikie
  12. roseylisa

    roseylisa New Member

    I feel like you do as if someone up their hates me! My husband gets mad when I say that! I think why me, what have I did that was so wrong?I know their are others that are worse but I still feel I've been done a great injustice!
  13. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    It may really help you to see a therapist. The good thing is you are acknowledge there is a problem and you don't want to be like this.

    You are so right, other people don't want to hear about our physical problems.

    You are young and beautiful - and I still say if you could find a doctor to help you feel better - you could begin to get over this.

    We can get better, it takes alot of change sometimes. I hope you get some help. When I was growing up with my mother, (she also had fibro) she talked about nothing else except her aches and pains, every day.

    I felt I didn't even have a mother. Eventually, everyone else turned a deaf ear. People just can't deal with it.

    It is good you can see the problem and want to do something about it.

  14. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    We cannot take control nor make progress. This is why grief therapy can be so helpful. Acceptance doesn't mean giving up or giving in; it means we stop using our precious energy on things which do not advance our healing. It means we acknowledge we have an illness.

    Illness is a reality for many and it is not related to our goodness or badness. It doesn't mean God doesn't love us nor does it mean we have done something to bring this on ourselves. These illnesses are likely genetic in nature and are triggered by exposure to things which were not in our control. Aha! Light bulb moment! There are some things we can control.

    Now, we're cookin'. Let's focus on those things we can control. We do not have to let ignorant docs treat us. We can find compassionate docs who care. It may take time, but they are out there.

    We can learn everything possible about these illnesses and we can devise our own treatment plans. I did. I brought tons of articles and papers to my docs and we worked together on my treatments.

    Along the way, we become more patient, we learn to take control, and we become stronger. Some of us have even become more spiritual. All God expects from me is to do my best with what I have. Well, I have a good mind and a computer. My mind wasn't so good when I started treating this, but I didn't give up. My treatments and my research have sharpened my mental functions and helped me heal.

    I remove myself from stressful situations and exposure to things which are not good for me. I can control my diet and exercise within my tolerance level. I can pray and I can meditate.

    I haven't told my billiards story for a long time and I think it's time. I'm going to do it under a separate post.

    Love, Mikie
  15. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member

    Nobody chooses these things, not even God. Don't think there is set reason for each of us, we are just part of the cycle of life.

    Someone mentioned a bunch of former bacterial and viral diseases that we now have a handle on. But then there are always new ones to take their places that we don't have the technology to fight yet. Those bacteria and viruses are part of the cycle of life and they are trying to recycle us. We pretty much know we are sick from a variety of different bugs, through in some genetic weaknesses, and some environmental traumas and you have CFS/FM soup. It's just random. In the meantime, we are recycling cows and pigs and chickens as part of most of our diets, and that's also nothing personal, just part of the cycle of continuing our own lives.

    Don't know if you've ever thought of it that way? Hope it helps.

  16. SherylD

    SherylD Guest

    You guys are great.. and very helpful..

    It is just hard!!

    It is like you are mourning over yourself dying..Seriously!

    I did go to a therapist for a while..But my scheduel just doesn't work out for me to go to her any more..It takes me an hour to get there...

    I am thinking I am just overwhelmed this week..I worked a little more than normal..Plus my son was soo sick all last week..He missed the whole week of school.

    I consider quiting work for a while just til I can get things under control..Maybe a break would do me some good. I do hair out of my home.. And all of my costumers that I have right now I have had for 16 yrs...The would all hunt me down. Plus I like having a little money that's my own. I really think about it alot...But I think I would miss it.

    But something has to give.. I can't handle it all.
  17. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    with the thought pattern...i have taken some and yes i slip up...but i have to keep going even wheni don't feel like i want to really live like this any longer...

    we didn't do anything wrong...shoot maybe we are special people here on this earth to convey a message of how people can deal with this syndrome....

    i don't know just a guess...i am not a very reliegous person, but people say god does not give us anything that we can not handle....

    but i want to handle somthing a little more easier to deal with...

  18. jeanann

    jeanann New Member

    Hi Everyone,

    I do understand what Sheryld is feeling...I have felt that way also...its usually when I have been in a bad flare for a while and just cant take any more...thats usually what gets me to try something new...

    Today I am living another nightmare....in 2001 my grandsons dad committed suicide...leaving him without his dad...and me with out a wonderful son in law that I loved and cherished dearly...

    WELL....my youngest daughter met a wonderful sweet guy...3 years ago....they had a lovely baby girl. He got orders to Iraq...when this happened I knew deep down that my grand daughter would most likely loose her daddy too...

    And on January 7 of this year....he was killed in a helicopter crash in Iraq....

    I have HAD to step up to the plate with my daughter and grand daughter...and I am in constant pain from lifting and running around after her and the grief is awful...He called me Mom and we were good friends...I miss him and love him...

    Although i have been in pain physicially and emotionally I am getting closer to God and I have started taking probiotics....which I ordered months ago, but because of the pain and all I decided to start getting serious about this illness....

    I love you guys...I dont post much I do read and pray for all of you....

    I dont mean to bring anyone down or anything...I just wanted to make the point that sometimes when times get tough it can make us look harder for the solution...

    Jean Ann
  19. debfee11

    debfee11 New Member

    You know, I've been feeling that way all day. But, now that I have a computer, I log onto this site and see that WOW !! It is WHY US? Ican't take the way I feel but the old saying "misery loves company" must be for we FM 'ers. I truly feel a bit better when I sense all the commaradery between all. I know that my feelings are REAL because so many of you are saying the same things that I could be saying. I'm sorry that you are feeling crappy. By the way, maybe we did something bad in a previos life and now it's our turn to be sick??? Just a thought.... Love Debness XXX
  20. SherylD

    SherylD Guest

    Sooo sorry about your loss..That is terrible!! I feel so sad for all of you. That poor little girl to grow up without her Daddy.

    Take Care!

[ advertisement ]