Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by desperation, Apr 8, 2003.

  1. desperation

    desperation New Member

    Hi all,
    I really don't understand this illness. It is driving me to despair. One day I think that I'm better and all the world is rosy and then THAT NIGHT I will feel terrile AGAIN!
    I cannot keep neing knocked back all the time. I go up and down like a yoyo!
    I'm lucky that I have some relief but as soon as I think I'm making some progress BAM!
    Does anyone else feel this way and how do you deal with it?
    Hope your having one of those Good days.
  2. Mom3

    Mom3 New Member

    Hi I know how you feel, I have been in a bad flare up and just the week before I was feeling much better and was more optimistic. This past week all my body aches sooo bad, the fatigueness is taking over me. It hurts to do anything and my mood is so down. The weather has been snowing and ice rain so I am sure that helped with the flare up and menstral cycle time. It's so weird to go thru these roller coaster cycles. Last week when I had better days the weather was also better I got out and did some shopping for myself, I did feel exhausted but does not compare to what I am feeling now. No motivation or energy besides pain, pain, pain. The sad part is it just creeps up and we have no control. I take tylenol #3 for pain but that does not help if I take it regularly. Hope you have some better days soon. Mom3
  3. paula45

    paula45 New Member

    I'm not really having a good day and I've had SO many bad days in the last year that I don't want to even think about it. I'm getting facet injections tomorrow in my T spine and hoping against hope for a little relief. How do I deal with the ups and downs? One day at a time. If that's more than I can think about getting through, I concentrate on getting through the next hour, and nothing else. I'm learning that wishing for the past and hoping for a better future are, for me, a waste of time and pretty depressing. If I have a decent day, I'm SO thankful and I try to relish every minute of it, knowing that tomorrow may be just horrible. That's how I get through it.....one (and only one) thing at a time. Hoping you find your way, and wishing all of us peace and comfort in our own space.
  4. bejo

    bejo New Member

    Life with FMS is like a yoyo.I think with acceptance of having fibro you slowly learn to know that there will always be good and bad days.We know the good ones won't last forever but the bad ones won't last forever either.It does get really tiresome and depressing at times.The depression is the hardest for me to deal with.I come up here and get support when I feel down,that does help me a lot.((((((hugs)))))) bejo
  5. jka

    jka New Member

    i know what you mean!one week i painted our bedroom and bathroom-then the next week i was dieing again.it's awful how this comes and goes.you never know when you'll be up or down.it makes really hard to make plans.i know i've lost some friends because of that.all you can do is pray for more good days and find a good,understanding doc.

    kathy c.
  6. desperation

    desperation New Member

    As you say, it's the loss of hope for the future and desire to rid the past that gets me down.
    I used to be so optomisitc despite what was going on in my life. i always had things planned and was very social. CF has put a stop to all that nad although I REALLY WANT to be positive, the last 2 years experience with CF have got rid of this. I long to plan, socialise, and think about the future but it's so blurred.
    I'm also becoming a pretty horrible person. I can't help but feel resentful towards others and bitter. If a person is haaving a bad day I think "shut up and get on with it, you have no idea" . I HATE the fact that I'm becoming so dismissive of others ( except those with CF) .
    I even think of those people with terrible but well known illnesses are lucky....How sick is that!
    I'm really not a nasty person. Before this DD I was a different person. What's beome of ME?
  7. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    would have to be a saint to live with FM or CFS
    and not have moments of selfishness and self pity. I have FM and I have many more bad days than good, so I DO understand what you are saying. I had about two weeks recently when I didn't feel "good" but felt a little better. I
    actually had one day that I did feel great. The
    very next day I went straight down. I guess if a
    person did think it was all in their heads they'd think they were punishing themselves for
    enjoying something. I don't think that for a second, but I do see why others can find these illnesses hard to understand. They see us in a store one day and the next we are home in our p.j.s crying in pain. It doesn't make sense to us so it surely makes no sense to them. Whoever said to take it one day, one hour~or even one minute at a time is so right! I have a kind doctor who has me on strong medications, but they don't meet the pain when I am at my worst. So many of us don't even have that and are out
    begging soulless doctors for ANY help they can
    get for their suffering. Many commit suicide, though hopefully now that our illnesses are recognized more and more that will some day stop. I never get mad at God because I don't think it is Him that creates pain, but I do get
    so frustrated and mean and angry that I sometimes don't pray even. When I do I feel better, but whether it's prayer, a hobby you really enjoy, reading and getting lost in a book, volunteering for something (most senior
    centers need people to call and check on shut
    ins and some animal shelters need callers to help find lost pets, etc.)..but find something that will take your mind away from yourself when you can. I don't always turn to meditation or
    any of it, not as often as I shoud, because it
    does help. Just don't think you are a bad person
    for having very human thoughts now and then. You
    are dealing with something as painful as cancer
    and as incurable (so far), but even now some do
    go into remissions so that's something to hope
    for. Hang in there! You are a valuable person and very important. You can help others by coming here on your good days and trying to help
    someone down, or on you bad days to ask for help. It helps us all to feel needed and to help
    each other if we can. (((((((Hugs!)))))))Bambi
  8. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

  9. desperation

    desperation New Member

    Thankyou for your kind response. It is so hard to be the person we have grown to know all our life without CF.
    I'd love to be positive for everyone but life is v difficult.
    Love to you all