Why Women Are PERFECT

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by elliespad, Mar 20, 2007.

  1. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    These have been around before, but are worth repeating.


    She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
    Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
    Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
    Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
    And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
    As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television
    set in her purse.
    "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
    "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
    and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
    Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
    "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
    He addressed the man,
    "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
    Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
    Pillsbury, isn't it?


    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
    The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
    He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
    She directs him down the correct aisle.
    A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
    balls and a ball of string on the counter.
    She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for
    your wife?
    He answers, " You see, it's like this,
    yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
    and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
    papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
    So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
    ( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )


    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
    An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
    neither of them wanted to concede their position.
    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
    the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

    W O R D S
    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
    30,000 to a man's 15,000.
    The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
    everything to men...
    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
    so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
    " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


    A man and his wife were having an argument about who
    should brew the coffee each morning.
    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
    and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
    The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
    you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
    that the man should do the coffee."
    Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
    and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed

    The Silent Treatment

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
    other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
    he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning
    business flight.
    Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
    piece of paper,
    "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
    The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
    and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
    see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
    the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
    Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

  2. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    your post made my day
  3. paulmack

    paulmack New Member

    Hebrews the coffee indeed,lol.Gave me a few laughs this morning.
    Yep,woman are perfect,can't disagree with that one,lol.
    Is this you getting your own back after my gentle dig at women last week??
    Keep them coming.
  4. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    No revenge here Paul. I LOVE to laugh, so BRING IT ON!
  5. paulmack

    paulmack New Member

    Not getting involved in a him/her thing,lol.The guys are totally outnumbered on the board,we've no chance,haha.

    Check out the link below for a fun story about "The Perfect Couple,",will give you a laugh.

  6. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    You GOT ME with that one Paul :)
  7. paulmack

    paulmack New Member

    You should have stopped reading when it told you,lol.
    A woman may be perfect but as the cartoon says(thats my disclaimer BTW) "a woman never listens."
    I'm just glad that wasn't my words,lol.
  8. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Those were hilarious, thank you!!!!!


    Nancy B