Why you should not say no when others offer help

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Takesha, May 16, 2003.

  1. Takesha

    Takesha New Member

    I was just going back and reading Sandy's post from this morning. I have been gone all day and wanted to check-up on her and what else is going on. She said something about not being able to except/recieve things very well and it made me think back to how I used to be the same way. I could never let people help me or do things for me, I always felt so guilty...You know "It's better to give than to receive,"? One day quite a few years ago I was not feeling to hot and my mother in law wanted to help me out. I of course said thank-you but I couldn't. Well, she told me this and I have never forgotten it..."You pray all the time for God to help you, and he works through people, and your all the time telling me that God returns back to you everything you do out of love." Well, you just stole my blessing because your not allowing me to give to you!" "You may not realize it but your being selfish"
    It's taken me years to learn how to just say thank-you and accept help sometimes. But I think my mother in law is right. Sometimes the Creator sends stranger to help us, and since we all have DD's and ask everyday for help from him, maybe we need to learn how to just say okay? I am not fussing at you Sandy...it just brought back a lesson that I personally needed to be reminded of..It's still hard but I keep working at it.
    [This Message was Edited on 05/16/2003]
  2. Susan07

    Susan07 New Member

    Right on!

    Whenever I help someone I just ask them to pass it on when and however they can. Learned this years ago from a great group of women at church in Seattle.
  3. jolly

    jolly New Member

    Oh what a good mother in law! I've had two good ones in my life. Very true what you (and she) said. I bet 99 percent of us have had trouble in our lives accepting help without feeling bad about it. Do you think we're all type A crazies? I never considered myself such, as I was never really successful or anything, but looking back, I would have to say that I always wanted to do it myself so it would be done right. I guess that's type A, huh? Oh well...those days are looonnnnggg past...Now not much of anything gets done, and I could care less every day! Jo Ellen
  4. sofy

    sofy New Member

    Your MIL is a wise woman. I am like Sandy. Alwayse too proud of "I did it all by myself" The biggest gift of being sick is opening myself up to the outside world and learning its ok to say yes to offered help. I have learned that for me it was a form of arrogance to always say no. I am a better person now and hope to get better yet in all ways.
    Cute story: A couple of weeks ago I was outside struggeling with some a gum and toothpick fence and gate for precious poochie and my chinese neighbor, who doesnt speak a word of english, came over and pitched in to help for 15 min before heading down the hill on his walk to work. He wasnt any real help but my spirits were so lifted by his loving gesture that I felt better all day. It is healing to open ourselves up.