Wife is no longer intertested in me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JJJ, Jan 30, 2012.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ New Member

    well she is no longer interested in what people do, if you know what i mean...and it is because of the change of life..plus she worries about her elderly mom..so this can be understandable, but very frustrating, for a man still looking for simple pleasures , and as you know, any good feeling with Fibro we will take..

    I have tried talking to her but it doesn't help, wanted her too go to the Dr for tests, but she said she is fine...so i am basically on my own... she actually shows signs of anything too to with sex is disgusting.

    I am not sure i want to spend the rest of my life like this... i have ask her for very little and i get nothing.. not asking her for sex..

    Other then that, she is a good wife and a good person, but like i say, i have needs and i am afraid i wont be able to control them, but of course i will be the bad person...
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Don't know where you live. Here in Los Angeles there are lots of stores
    to provide answers to such problems. Maybe not the perfect solution, but
    perhaps an improvement.

    Good luck

  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Is almost identical to one not too long ago.

    I suggest you see a therapist to help you sort through your options. Of course, it would be great if your wife would go too but you can be helped by yourself. There may be physical reasons your wife has changed. Is she healthy? Does her doc know about this change in her attitude toward sex? Healthy people can have satisfying sex well into old age. As we age, though, things can change, like our hormone levels. This can cause a loss of libido. I'm sure it's frustrating that your wife isn't willing to investigate her loss of interest. Perhaps she's too embarassed to discuss it.

    An active sex life is good for our brains and our relationships. Intimacy is one of life's most precious gifts. It's a shame to be missing out on it. Good luck.

    Love, Mikie
  4. Picklington

    Picklington New Member

    Hang in there. Tell her she's beautiful and you love her and start making physical contact more often in a non-sexual way, i.e. holding hands more, snuggling together on the sofa, stroking her hair or face when she looks stressed. I know it can be difficult if your pain is acting up - I'm not great at cosying up with someone when I'm in pain - but it is important to keep physical contact regular so that there isn't such a big leap between daily contact and physical contact.
  5. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    It's always easy to look at what we don't have. Imagine if your wife were no longer with you (deceased). Would sex be an issue then, or would you long for the mere presence of her? Are you able to envision that scenario? Might I suggest attending a grief support group just once to hear the outpouring of sorrow from others who have lost their beloved spouses/loved ones? It might be enough of a dose of reality to shock you into giving your wife the grace and space she (for whatever reasons) needs right now. Give her all the time she needs, and she may come to you. If not, at least you will have learned to be her lifelong friend, for better or worse as promised when you took your vows.

    In the meantime, as rockgor said, there are plenty of stores, online and otherwise where you can purchase items to pleasure yourself if the need is that great. I would discuss this with my wife first if I were you so she understands your line of thinking. Good luck, and God bless.
  6. poetrist

    poetrist Member

    can be very difficult for women to endure.

    You may want to consider chatting with a therapist or physician to learn and discuss what both you and your wife are going through individually with your health conditions and as a couple, and how the two of you can find new ways to gently bring intimacy back without guilt or pushiness.

    good luck, blessings