==Will Rogers== WITTICISMS == economy, politics etc! TIMELESS!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Nov 1, 2008.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Quotes, political and otherwise, from Will Rodgers....
    hope we can all get some laughs!

    he sure hits the nail on the head imho no matter what the subject with these quotes:


    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

    Everything is changing. . .
    People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

    Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this'...
    and they didn't, they got worse.

    If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

    An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

    Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

    The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.

    Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. -- it don't go up, don't buy it!

    People are getting smarter nowadays;
    they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

    Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

    Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

    When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

    It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that AIN'T so.

    If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.

    Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

    There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

    All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's my alibi for my ignorance.

    The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

    There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

    A fool and his money are soon elected.

    Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

    The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.

    Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

    If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

    Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

    I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."

    On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government 4 years, no matter what it does.

    Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

    You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

    Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

    The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

    The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

    The schools ain't what they used to be-- and never was.

    Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in 5 years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

    This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.

    Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

    We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

    Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

    When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

    Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
    Will Rogers

    If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.
    Will Rogers

    One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

    In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.

    The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

    Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

    People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

    Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

    Let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

    Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

    I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

    You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

    Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

    We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can!


  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    was a cowboy, a trick roper, a star on Broadway and in the movies, a writer and a wise man. But it doesn't seem like things improved much since he made his trenchant observations.

    I visited his house in CA years ago. Lots of skins on the walls including one nobody could figure out. Turned out to be a kangaroo. He didn't hunt. But fans sent him pelts to hang on the wall. His front yard was a polo field.

    Thanks for posting, Victoria.