WILL YOU CRY WITH ME ?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by momof27, Nov 14, 2008.

  1. momof27

    momof27 New Member


    I FINALLY FELT GOOD ENOUGH TO TAKE MY 10 KIDS AND HUSBAND OUT TONIGHT , WE WENT TO THE MOVIES, I WAS HAPPY BECAUSE I KNOW AT THE SHOW IN OUR TOWN IT HAS A TABLE SET UP FOR PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES TO SIT AT

    IT MAKES IT SO NICE TO SET YOUR DRINK ON AND NOT HAVE TO WORRIE ABOUT BENDING OVER TO GET IT OR HOLDING IT

    ANYWAY I SAT DOWN MY HUSBAND WAS AT THE SNACK BAR ,A MAN WALKS UP TO ME AND SAYS DO YOU KNOW THIS IS FOR DISABLED PEOPLE ONLY, I SMILED AND SAID YES I DO , I AM DISABLED, HE THEN SAID, I SAID IT IS FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE DISABLED YOU WILL HAVE TO MOVE, I SHOWED HIM MY MEDICARE CARD AND AGAIN SAID I AM DISABLED ,

    NOW EVERYONE IN OUR SMALL TOWN WAS LOOKING AT ME, THE MAN LEFT THEN CAME BACK AND STOOD BEHIND MY CHAIR FOR THE WHOLE SHOW I WAS SO EMBARRASSED I WANTED TO CRY.

  2. robin1667

    robin1667 New Member

    Yes, I will cry with you!! I can't beleive that man!! This makes me so angry!! How inconsiderate!! If there is a next time, I would have your husband go to the manager and raise hell!! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hugs, Robin
  3. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Having grown up with a handicap Iam appalled at this moron but not surprised.

    Im sorry the manager was not notified to the haressment you recieved. I wouldn't have shown the creep anything you do not need to explain to ignorant people like him anything.

    hope he liked standing thru the show. People in your town know you please do not worry about what they think. I wasted to much of my life doing that.

    keep happy thoughts about your outting and do it again despite unthinking self appointed bullies.

    peace
  4. gapsych

    gapsych New Member


    I would report this incident to the manager, even after the fact. This man should be ashamed of himself.

    I wonder if he has done this to other people?

    Take care.
    gap
  5. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    especially over this ignorant and judgemental JERK!

    Who was this guy mom?

    Did he work for the theater?

    Where were your kids?

    That man should be glad that I was not there!!!!!!!!!!!!

    How dare him...you see mom people like this need to be put in there place....really it is none of his business what you were doing especially if he did not work there...

    I mean did they have a sign or anything stating you must show proof of your disability to sit there?

    I have had encounters like this more than once and believe me the person(s) that do this to me now end up wishing they never approached me in the first place!

    Mom the next time anything like this happens please call for the manager...even if you have to use your cell phone to call to the front office in the theater you are in.....or maybe ask someone else near you to PLEASE get the manager...

    Better yet....call the police and tell them you feel threatened ....that you are disabled and this man is stalking you! Because that is exactly what he was doing...he was trying to intimidate you !

    I am so sorry this happened to you sweetie....but you are not the one who should be upset or feel bad...you did NOTHING wrong ok?!!!!!!!!!!

    Just try to chalk it up to "live and learn" and do not ever let anyone else get away with treating you like this...even if you have to yell out loud ( "GET AWAY FROM ME" ) and embarrass the person do whatever to get them away from you and maybe next time they will think twice before they harrass some innocent person like you!

    Iam sending you a BIG BIG hug!

    XO
    Doxy
  6. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    The next time anything like that happens you need to get the management at the location you are at to deal with it. As a disabled person, they have a responsibility to help you. Secondly, I would have called the police on that man. He was harassing you and just being a jerk. I would like to see his face when he had to pay a attorney to handle the criminal complaint against him.

    Please don't hesitate to take action, I realize it is upsetting but this kind of people need to learn a lesson. If you had a cell phone you could have called the police and explained what was going on and ask for help. I am sure they would have come.
  7. 2sic2mooov

    2sic2mooov New Member

    Hi "momma". I went through a similar time when in my 20's (way before this disease struck) I was given handicap status for parking due to a horrible back after many surgeries. I had small children at the time and was so difficult to walk, let alone carry in diaper bags, purse, deal with stroller etc. Not having to walk with the pain from the far end of some parking lot was not a gift to me...it was my right considering my situation.

    Many times I was stared at and sometimes was approached by strangers who thought I was taking up a REAL disabled person's parking space. Sometimes the person would be embarrassed after my explanation of my medical situation, and sometimes they left blankfaced as if they didnt beleive me. I even showed my card and liscense to one. Another time I asked if the guy wanted me to lift up my shirt in the back to show him my foot long scars on my back that had widened unbeleivably due to surgery after surgery in the same area. It was degrading and ridiculous but becasue we don't always have the wheelchair or cane, cast or missing limb...ignorant and busybody people feel a need to push some sort of power and dig in.
    In some cases I tried to forgive them, thinking maybe they had handicapped family or friends they may have been 'looking out for ".
    Now, 25 years later I have so many medical problems and such little strength that most times I dont even venture out at all. (Past 1 1/2 years have given up most driving due to weakness, dizzyness, etc). I have had friends and family tell me I should re-establish my handicap status due to this disability----yes I was granted disablility status. Even so many times my husband has to drop me off and leave me, and then find me later when we go somewhere. It is tougher on him for me to have this.
    That man standing behind you should have been tossed out. I know it is just more of a pain to make a scene, but we need to stand up for ourselves and more importantly educate people out there about our disease and how it limits us physically, cognitively, etc. I am wondering if we need to get pamphlets to take with us to "share" with these "well meaning" (sarcasm) individuals. Sorry you had to go through this. Dont let it stop you from going again. Next time you will be prepared to deal with the jerk.
    I will lend you one of my tissues tonight, but next time you won't need it. HE will!!!!
    Eileen
  8. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I swear, you should sue. You should sue that guy and the place for allowing someone to harass you. If more disabled people took a stand and sued, less of this would go on :(

    I'm sorry it happened to you. No one believes me that I'm not okay. I'm more disabled than most of the people in my apartment building and no one believes it because I don't look sick.
  9. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Next time, point to some seat far away from you and say "Seats for "stupid" are over there".
    Don't let some idiot make you cry or embarass you! You didn't do anything wrong - you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

    Who gives a rip what anyone in your small town thinks? Hold your chin up girl!

    How great that you took your family for a fun night out! Hope you can do that again soon!
  10. Leaknits

    Leaknits New Member

    Hi,

    I can hear your pain while reading your words.

    Unfortunately not even the wheelchair or cane can always get the point across to cretins that just because a person "looks okay," whatever in the world that means, that person might not BE okay.

    I try to look okay or as close to normal as I can manage when I have to go out into The World. Gaaad if I dressed the way I feel 90% of the time I'd still be in robe & slippers.

    Even people who know me and some of my history have asked "What are you doing, using that powerchair? You get lazy or something?"
    Yeah. I'm so lazy that I insist on using my chair to get to places. The fact I can walk if I don't have to walk too far seems to be my undoing.

    I suppose laziness was what made me fall and break a legbone years ago...and it wasn't repaired right so I'll probably have to deal with intractable pain for however much time I have left above ground.

    It must be laziness, too, that makes it so I need a helper to deal with in-house and erranding needs.
    Now add in the pain & exhaustion, brainfade and on and on of the d'ds.

    My gosh no wonder so many of us choose to hermit-up and stay out of the public's view as much as we can.
    We become invisible.

    Oh, and people in chairs are invisible or nearly so when need pushes them out the door in search of groceries or other little luxuries such as that.
    I've had people yell at me to get off the sidewalk, get out of THEIR way in stores...and one uh "lady" I'll probably never be able to forget told me in a post office that I was running my chair too fast and nearly hit her.

    Both were totally untrue. At top speed my chair runs 4 miles an hour. I had purposely slooowed down and the closest I came to that "lady" was about 3 or 4 feet.
    Of course the fact she had driven to the post office in a car and had failed stop and allow chair-riding me to get through the crosswalk so that I could get to the post office, too, well, that just didn't enter her so-called mind.

    Here in CA it's a law that if anyone is in a designated crosswalk, car drivers are to stop and not start up again until the person has totally cleared the crosswalk.
    It doesn't usually work out that way.

    First there are the non-stoppers. Then come those who are in such a flaming hurry that they have come within inches of hitting ME...but that's supposed to be okay.

    Mostly the more people I meet, present company excluded of course, the more I love my cats.

    Lea.
  11. Leaknits

    Leaknits New Member

    Hi,

    The guy's an obvious jerk; about all I can say about him is that it's a blessing he doesn't live in your house.
    Some people just have to set themselves up as Authority over everone else. I'd suspect low selfesteem, if he deserved to HAVE any esteem which I mostly think he doesn't because of the way he acted toward you when you were just trying to have a nice evening out with your family.

    If it helps any, and I have no earthly idea why it should, that idiot's not the only one in the world.
    Last week I had to do a combined chair-and-bus ride to buy cat food. While I was sitting and waiting for the bus to take my aching self home...that bus is a torture machine on wheels... a kid who works in the animal food store took it upon himself to come outside and yell at me that I had better move on; no one, according to him, was allowed to just sit there.

    I wasn't in anyone's way; I was a couple dozen yards from the store.

    Damfino what he thought I was doing besides waiting for the bus, which I explained to him. That didn't shut him up. No. He still had to stand over (and much too close for my comfort, people in chairs are sitting ducks for "Normals") me and continue to blatt about how I wasn't supposed to BE there.

    The fact I know this kid isn't "wrapped too tight" and has trouble keeping his hands off females who shop in that store never caused me to yell at him...where in the world do people like that get off, acting that way??

    Lea.
  12. momof27

    momof27 New Member

    TODAY WAS SUCH A BAD (PAIN) DAY BUT IT DID MY HEART GOOD TO SEE MY FRIENDS CARE FOR ME.

    THIS JERK IS THE OWNER! I THINK HE STOOD BEHIND ME TO SEE IF I ACTED DISABLED.

    MY KIDS WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME IN THE NORMAL CHAIRS
    MOM
    [This Message was Edited on 11/15/2008]
  13. Belinha

    Belinha New Member

    You were able to go out! You got lucky and found somewhere to rest your weary bones. Handling 10 kids and a husband should qualify you to be at least temporarily disabled. LOL!
    So I guess after a good thought the man picked you for his standing room only action. His choice. If it was me I'd tell him to get lost or I would hold all my gas and then let a really big one come out, that would have made him move quick! LOL
    These people in your town, do they come by and help with the kids, offer a meal, or even lend an ear? They are probably looking at you and thinking, " If that man wanted to show he was disabled too, how was he able to stand behind her the whole show. Don't you have enough to worry about? Besides, did you know you could sue the restaurant and let them know this man,
    I'm sure he is part of the place, just for discrimination against you. I would just enjoy the fact that I went out with my family and tell the whole town they should take a picture when they look at you, it lasts longer. The whole world is upside down and most people walking and driving around have no idea where they're going. Forgive and forget. Say a prayer for the guy he must have been having a hell of a day.
    Love and God bless.
    Belinha
  14. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Very sad, what is WRONG with people!!!

    I just want to scream