Hi everyone, Thanks for the thoughts. I got to be honest I am doing pretty horrible. My depression is the worst it has ever been. I don't know if I already told you guys this but I was indeed diagnosed with that stupid postpartum depression. I did get my medicine increased and I have seen my therapist and doctor a couple of times. I am trying to keep it together for Landon. He is doing awesome it is just his mommy who isn't doing so hot. My husband left last Monday for a business trip and I had a break down. That is why I haven't been on the boards. Thank goodness I actually reached out for help. The days leading up to my husbands trip were really hard for me and my depression only deepened. I was a complete wreck but I was keeping it all inside because I couldn't show him I was being weak. It was when I heard his car drive away I just lost it. I actually couldn't speak but emailed a friend just telling her I felt depressed and not right. I didn't really let on how bad things were and almost deleted the email but for some reason (God had something to do with it) I sent the email. She called me literally within seconds of my sending it (she works from home) and asked if I was okay and I broke down completely. She asked where my husband was and I somehow got out that he had left for a business trip. About fifteen minutes later she was with me at my house making me drink something and forcing me to eat. (I hadn't eaten in awhile) She had called my husband before she left to come sit with me and told him to come home. He was already a couple hours away by this time but he immediately turned around. I was so embarrassed and ashamed! I still am but my husband has been taking really good care of Landon and me. My husband said he felt like things weren't right but said I was being a very good actress so he couldn't really tell how bad things were. He took the rest of the week off and took me to my doctors and got me the help I needed. It has been a really rough week but I think I can feel the medicine helping me. My doctors wanted me to go in the hospital but I refused. I couldn't leave my husband with our little boy all alone like that. Plus I didn't really feel like I wanted to harm myself, I just felt broken. Hubby goes back to work tomorrow and that is going to be hard but I can get through it. Thank you so much for thinking of me guys. I am sorry I caused worry. I just haven't been able to function really. My flare is still horrendous but I am going to get through it like we all do. (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) kate P.S. I have posted this same response in several places to make sure everyone saw it. I truly am sorry for causing worry. Just not feeling well. Sorry all for not being a good friend lately. I promise I will be better to you all!