Windblade, Cromwell, Vilke, Fight, Jeanne, Everyone..Been Away...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by KateMac329, Mar 26, 2006.

  1. KateMac329

    KateMac329 New Member

    Hi everyone,
    Thanks for the thoughts. I got to be honest I am doing pretty horrible.

    My depression is the worst it has ever been.

    I don't know if I already told you guys this but I was indeed diagnosed with that stupid postpartum depression.

    I did get my medicine increased and I have seen my therapist and doctor a couple of times.

    I am trying to keep it together for Landon. He is doing awesome it is just his mommy who isn't doing so hot.

    My husband left last Monday for a business trip and I had a break down.

    That is why I haven't been on the boards.

    Thank goodness I actually reached out for help.

    The days leading up to my husbands trip were really hard for me and my depression only deepened. I was a complete wreck but I was keeping it all inside because I couldn't show him I was being weak. It was when I heard his car drive away I just lost it.

    I actually couldn't speak but emailed a friend just telling her I felt depressed and not right. I didn't really let on how bad things were and almost deleted the email but for some reason (God had something to do with it) I sent the email.

    She called me literally within seconds of my sending it (she works from home) and asked if I was okay and I broke down completely.

    She asked where my husband was and I somehow got out that he had left for a business trip.

    About fifteen minutes later she was with me at my house making me drink something and forcing me to eat. (I hadn't eaten in awhile)

    She had called my husband before she left to come sit with me and told him to come home. He was already a couple hours away by this time but he immediately turned around.

    I was so embarrassed and ashamed! I still am but my husband has been taking really good care of Landon and me. My husband said he felt like things weren't right but said I was being a very good actress so he couldn't really tell how bad things were.

    He took the rest of the week off and took me to my doctors and got me the help I needed. It has been a really rough week but I think I can feel the medicine helping me.

    My doctors wanted me to go in the hospital but I refused. I couldn't leave my husband with our little boy all alone like that. Plus I didn't really feel like I wanted to harm myself, I just felt broken.

    Hubby goes back to work tomorrow and that is going to be hard but I can get through it.

    Thank you so much for thinking of me guys. I am sorry I caused worry. I just haven't been able to function really.

    My flare is still horrendous but I am going to get through it like we all do.



    P.S. I have posted this same response in several places to make sure everyone saw it. I truly am sorry for causing worry. Just not feeling well.

    Sorry all for not being a good friend lately. I promise I will be better to you all!
  2. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    Reading your message has me fighting back tears, because your husband actually came home to help you. You are so lucky to have the support of him and your friend. Being a new mom can be so hard on its own, and it is that much more challenging when you have health issues. Your little boy is gorgeous (saw your profile pic), and I so hope he is easy on Mommy.

    I am wishing you all the best, and if you do have any issues with your son, we've been through a lot with our now 4 y.o. daughter, so maybe I could help? Hang in there, and I really know what it's like, as my hubby's traveled extensively, including weeklong trips to Brazil almost every month of my daughter's first year (and she had severe colic and took 18 mo. to sleep through the night). It is very, very hard to be a "stay home mom", and I wish you all the best!

    Hang in there, and I hope this week is better for you.
  3. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    How wonderful to hear from you, honey!!!

    Thank God you had just enough strength to email your friend, and she called, and came right over.

    And your husband came home to care for you!!!

    It took me time to learn to reach out for help in my life, but now I feel more comfortable and do it on a regular basis.

    I've just found out recently that a good part of my clinical depression is biological; and the rest is from PTSD. For me, learning to reach out,has brought so many valuable, extraordinary people into my life.

    Please don't apologize for anything; I see you fighting hard to see your therapist, get medication, etc. All with dealing with a new baby.

    I'm just wondering Kate, since I don't know much about PPD, if there are other medications you can take too. Not just for depression , but for other emotions and hormonal balance.

    Maybe someone here will know what is the cutting edge info. on PPD; and the best medicines and treatments.

    I know you don't have time to research; but it seems right to have all the latest information to get you the best help
    available, until you feel truly well again!

    You haven't done anything wrong, honey. Your hormones or chemical balance have been affected, and that is NOTHING to be ashamed of!!!

    We will keep praying it all the way through.

    So many here care for you, and will stand by you and Landon and your dear husband.

    p.s. I left you a little note on the worship board too.

    We're still with you, when we're in direct communication, and at other times,too.

    Love you lots!
  4. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Now listen sweetie. DO NOT FEEL Ashamed. This happens to many women. It is the hormonal changes that make this happen. It is NOT in your own control, but meds and time will make it better.

    I think those people who are the most elated at being pregnant often are the ones that get this the worse. I think that you need to get someone to come in at least for a part of the day, every day, until you start to feel a little better.

    You also, remember have this DD so it is that too. It is often just totally overwhelming and your whole routine gets turned around when you have a baby. Just that alone makes one tired, then you have this pain and anguish on top of it all.

    Is there ANY way your husband can get some leave from work? In the UK men get family leave. Is that possible at all? I know he has to work, but also, can you place an ad in the paper for a mothers helper? Maybe some older lady, like post it Granny type needed and just explain the situation, that you need someone to be there a few hours a day.

    Thank God your friend responded. Maybe she can help locate someone who will come in and be glad of the cash in hand. I know that is JUST the sort of job I would love to do for a bit of pin money. Pity you don't live in my town!!!

    Will you call that friend and see how she can help arange this. I did this for my neice when she had this same thing, and it really played a huge role in her getting better quicker. IT was being alone that was driving the illness, and once she knew someone would be there. There also maybe LPN's who will come in. But someone about 60 who has had kids and grandkids may be helpful so long as they understand postpartum.

    PLease Please promise that you will not stay alone. If things start geting bad, even go next door or anything. People are far more understanding than you think. Also, there may be a new moms group locally. See if your friend can locate one as sometimes they take it in turns to be there for one another. But if you can afford to pay someone to come in, this is the best.

    Love Anne C THANKS for posting back, I was S worried.
  5. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    So glad you checked in :)! Our thoughts and good wishes are with you everyday :).
  6. windblade

    windblade Active Member

  7. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    Hon, just take care of yourself and little Landon and get better. Rest when you can and nap when he naps.

    I had PPD with Matt (25 years ago) and I was in the hospital when I had a crying spell and they either gave me a pill or a shot and that was all I had to get me out of it. So I don't even know what I was given or why it worked with just one shot/pill.

    Keep in mind that I didn't have FMS either.

    You take care and many prayers to you and love,

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