Wish I had known

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by jadibeler, Jan 4, 2004.

  1. jadibeler

    jadibeler New Member

    I brought up this board by mistake, on my way to Chit Chat. Just scanning the post titles, I can see that this board would have been so helpful to me during the years I took care of my mother, especially the last 6 months.

    I'm not going to read any of them - I just don't want to go back there, ever. I'm just regretting the fact that I missed out on such help. I was so alone. . .

    JoAnn
  2. peterle

    peterle New Member

    JoAnn thank you for posting. As read your last line I had to cry , Something I have not been able to do for over a year.Something I neeed to do for my whole beeing was screaming for help. Your words broke the dam and I wish you all the best that life can give Sincerely U.J.G.
  3. jadibeler

    jadibeler New Member

    My goodness - well, I'm glad I could help. . . Maybe that's what I need to do as well. All I do is keep thinking back to all the things I did wrong or could have done better and feeling guilty that I didn't do a better job, even though I know I did the best I could considering my FM. I thought it was over last January but maybe it never will be.

    JoAnn
  4. peterle

    peterle New Member

    We are always left with some guilty feelings. How well I know. When my father called from Germany and said he had done a dumb thing, he had cut his wrists hoping to end his loneliness. Mother had passed on 5 years earlier and he could not adjust and I was here......He lived another 9 years I still have feelings of guild but it is fading very slowly. It will get better as time passes. Matter of fact even my mothers passing is still bothering me , but I do feel they know that I done the best I could at that time. I had a large family and a lot of obligations here on this side of the ocean; soo we go on.. forgive yourself for beeing only human U.J.G
    [This Message was Edited on 01/14/2004]
  5. jadibeler

    jadibeler New Member

    That does make me feel better. I'm prone to guilt anyway - a personality trait, I guess. Even when things couldn't have gone any other way, I still feel guilty. It's easier to forgive other people than it is to forgive yourself. Certainly nobody in the family ever made me feel guilty, quite the opposite. I was praised to the skies. I'm sure it will get better in time.

    I've been thinking that maybe I should peek in on some posts here. Maybe some of my experiences and thoughts would be of benefit to others going through it now. We'll see. . .

    JoAnn
  6. peterle

    peterle New Member

    HI JoAnn ! Nice to hear from you again. I am often hesitating to excamin what is bothering me......I tend to.... No I do keep everything inside until it gets to much. Not good for the nerves I have found out more then once. SO I try to write a diary and let it all come out: nice ,friendly ,hatefull, out raged and ooohlala !!! Then I go back at a later time and read and reread it , well it makes for a lot of food for thought. And since you are sure you done your best, pat yourself on the back and call yourself a good girl. Feels a lot better then all the praises others can give you. Listen to me just a few days ago I was a total wipeout !!!!Like I said, thanks for making me cry U. J.G.
    [This Message was Edited on 01/14/2004]
    [This Message was Edited on 01/29/2004]