wondering why....

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Scoobsmom, Oct 18, 2002.

  1. Scoobsmom

    Scoobsmom New Member

    Okay ladies, I have a question that maybe someone out there can shed some light on. I was diagnosed with fibro back in June, my only child was diagnosed with Aspergers in June. My mother called me yesterday after nearly 4 weeks (she lives about 1 hour away) and very sarcastically asked how I was feeling. During the conversation she insinuated that my husband and I "shelter" my son, and wonders why at 7 years old he has not ever slept over with other children or infact the "family". My family is not understanding and I truly do not want to try to defend myself. We have been distanced since I became a Christian back in 1994 and this illness and my sons diagnosis (a form of Autism) has caused a strain even more. I grew up like a lot of you ladies with a lot of emotional abuse. I left home at 15 to move away from my family, finished school, worked my way up to some very good jobs. I returned home when I was 28 and now with these challenges, my husband and I do not have any support from either my family or my "church" family. Can someone explain why this is happening? I truly do not see how this test can build me up. I feel at times so alone.... Maybe it's just a momentary faith loss, or a momentary pity party, but it has made me real concerned about what I am going through. Oh well, I thank you all for your understanding and trust that others who may feel like I do today we will get a peace in our hearts from knowing we are not alone. Barb
  2. Scoobsmom

    Scoobsmom New Member

    Okay ladies, I have a question that maybe someone out there can shed some light on. I was diagnosed with fibro back in June, my only child was diagnosed with Aspergers in June. My mother called me yesterday after nearly 4 weeks (she lives about 1 hour away) and very sarcastically asked how I was feeling. During the conversation she insinuated that my husband and I "shelter" my son, and wonders why at 7 years old he has not ever slept over with other children or infact the "family". My family is not understanding and I truly do not want to try to defend myself. We have been distanced since I became a Christian back in 1994 and this illness and my sons diagnosis (a form of Autism) has caused a strain even more. I grew up like a lot of you ladies with a lot of emotional abuse. I left home at 15 to move away from my family, finished school, worked my way up to some very good jobs. I returned home when I was 28 and now with these challenges, my husband and I do not have any support from either my family or my "church" family. Can someone explain why this is happening? I truly do not see how this test can build me up. I feel at times so alone.... Maybe it's just a momentary faith loss, or a momentary pity party, but it has made me real concerned about what I am going through. Oh well, I thank you all for your understanding and trust that others who may feel like I do today we will get a peace in our hearts from knowing we are not alone. Barb
  3. dojomo

    dojomo New Member

    Spiritually...why are we going through all this....especially the judgement and rejection?

    I don't view this as "testing" faith. Lessons in faith maybe. There is a long list of the faithful That has been judge and rejected...

    This probably belongs in the worship board..... But when ever I get to questioning God in all of this, I re-read the book of JOB....
    Since most of us are having JOB-like experiences.... The interesting thing about Job is..... He is never given the knowledge of the spiritual battle that he is involved in.... God and Satan talk ABOUT him, but not TO him. So he has no clue about what is happening to him. He questions if he has done something to deserve this. His friends are convinced he did something to deserve it as well. He didn't know how deeply involved God really was.

    My point is...we aren't privy to all the things of God....our job is to trust that it is all working for the good.

    Believe me ...there are times when I think this life isn't worth finishing....Then I think of JOB...how he endured to the end...and I re-gain some strength.....hope this helps you too........

    And no offense to anyone with different belief systems....DJ



  4. karen2002

    karen2002 New Member

    Barb,
    I understand the rift that exist between you and your family. I also understand that when you became a Christian in 1994, how the rift, deepened. This happens so often. What I do not understand, however, is why support isn't forthcoming from your church family. This is inexcusable, in my mind. Your faith is very important to you, and these, are the very people that should be holding you up and supporting you. I believe, if I were in your shoes, I might look for a new church family. Mothers don't have directives in writing, but the Body of Christ, believer's do.
    Best Wishes,
    Karen
  5. Seagull

    Seagull New Member

    They do not give medals for how we handle streesful situations like this and there is no need to expose oneself to such mean-spirited, unsupportive people when it isn't neccessary and can be avoided. All that added stress just adds to your FMS symptoms making you feel worse.

    I use my caller ID and voicemail to screen all my calls. With a hubby going through cascading TIAs and myself dealing with FMS/MPS Complex, I have enough stress in my life without someone like that adding more.

    And you are so right to keep protecting your son from them -- I have a younger brother who is autistic/retarded and no one can understand the pain and anguish of dealing with the challenges and special needs of such a loved one unless they have lived with it on a daily basis. He must be sheltered from those who would be hurtful to him, (usually out of spite or ignorance). You are his protector and believe me when I tell you that he knows that, even if he cannot show those feelings to you. His needs and well-being certainly must come before anyone else's. I do not envy the road you have begun to travel and can only tell you that things will probably get more intense before they get better, regarding your son. (my brother came down with this as a toddler and is now about 39 y.o., so I know from where I speak). You must save whatever energy you can in order to be able to feel well enough to effectively handle the challenges that are coming in his life. That is all that matters in the big picture. :)
  6. Kim

    Kim New Member

    but some people, including our brothers and sisters in Christ, get caught up in themselves and forget what the Master said, "love one another". I've been somewhat alienated from my family since my conversion. They didn't seem to mind when I lived, unmarried, with a man 20 years older that myself, got divorced, never went to church. But since I became a Christian, married a fine Christian man, joined a church, and concentrated on my spiritual walk I am suddenly "religious". In fact, I am not religious, and neither was Jesus. As far as the book of Job, there are different "takes" on it including Job "brought it upon himself by saying the thing I fear most has happened". The bible says "fear not" 365 times. Like the other post said, we can't fully understand God. His ways are higher than our ways. For now we must have faith and work on keeping our faith. Barb, as far as your church family, you might want to consider getting another or at least talking to your Pastor. There's no such thing as a perfect church on earth but you should be able to find one that supports your fellowship needs.

    Keep the faith, read the word, pray to the only One who really understands you, and know that you have brothers and sisters in Christ on this forum if you need us.

    God bless you and remember you are a daughter of the King, think of yourself that way.

    Kim
  7. dojomo

    dojomo New Member

    ......never discuss politics or religion here.....I'll remember that next time....


    But , I have make a counter comment on the Job interpetation and than I promise I'll be a good girl and never do this again.

    I just stated that the story inspired me and why.....I don't look at it as Job creating his own problems cause he had fears,...just that he was in the middle of something he didn't understand .....but everyone interpts differently......now I'm outta here...DJ
  8. poodlegirl

    poodlegirl New Member

    about JOB and we do understand the sarcastic comments. Try to forgive others for ignorant comments and false concerns and keep focusing on what is important-you, your husband, your son and of course GOD. You must raise your son the way you feel is best for him. So what if he is shelptered. I think that is waht kids need now adays, a little more sheltering and a lot less of the real world. They do grow up quick enuff and you want to protect him from harm. Nothing wrong in that. And he is only 7. I mean, its not like he is near adulthood. He is still a baby. You sound like a good mom who in my eyes is doing the correct thing. And there is no rule that says kids must stay the nite away from home. I did not spend the nite away from home til I was in middles school. No one forced me to and that is ok. Don't worry about what others think. I could give you other examples from the BIBLE, but alas this is not the religion discussion group and well you know how it is, turn the other cheek and NOAH are a couple of things that come to mind. I am sure you know. Anyway vent your frustrations, we are here for you!
  9. Scoobsmom

    Scoobsmom New Member

    I just wanted to take a quick moment and say thanks to all of you who responded to my moment of venting!!! Smile.. I am certain I will get back on tomorrow or Monday and go over your comments when I can absorb them a little more clearly.. long day... You are all a blessing to me just hearing your encouraging words and concerns for myself and my family... hugs to all.. BARB
  10. herblady

    herblady New Member

    i believe life goes in cycles. nothing stays the same, change is the only constant. these bad times you are having won't stay like this. eventually they will change for the better. i hope that you can stay strong and hang in there. my best wishes. cindi