Now I finally understand, after about 8 months on the board, how many of us have to make this choice. Of course, it doesn't apply to those of us whose bodies don't allow us to work outside of the home. But for us who can, we have to face that horrible choice: Do we drag to work and come home and have no energy for a social life or even for other life responsibilities (grocery-shopping; laundry; spending time with spouse and/or children)or do we just stop working and be able to spend our good days as we choose? Of course, for those of us with no spouse's income to fall back on, this is basically impossible. There are other things along with this. With these DDs and our taking time off, even when medically documented, our employers will never promote us (and deep inside, we wonder if our fibro fog will slow down long enough for us to enjoy and fulfill the duties of a promotion). I used to never understand how CFS and Fibro could lead to depression but now I do because it's happening to me. I'm trying very hard to find a mental health clinician, but it's difficult-------------seems as if everyone that my insurance will cover is not accepting new patients. I prefer an in-person group and found one last month, but it would've been an out of network with my insurance provider. I just don't know what to do. I have teens to support. I don't want them growing up in the poverty that I did. As soon as I think I'm doing a good job at work, I'll have a flare and have to miss alot of work. My attendance and even performance (especially my quantity of work) sucks big time. And whenever I have a burst of energy for work, I wind up having to deal with a walk-in client or some meeting or training. I need to be able to work case files uninterrupted. But they won't give me that accommodation. And when I decide to return phone calls for the last hour and a half of the day, that's when walk-ins come in. It's just horrible. I want to ask for a special medical transfer, but I don't want a demotion. Plus, I cannot figure out where I could go that wouldn't be as aggravating. It's getting to the point where everything takes my energy. My refrigerator freezer is empty, except for ice. My refrigerator is almost bare. I went without dinner for most of the week while I scraped up dinner for my daughters. I just didn't have the energy to go grocery-shopping. It was either go shopping or go to work. After missing the equivalent of 5 days already this month, I chose not to eat just so that I could make it to work and let my daughters get something. I just cannot handle grocery-shopping every week or even every two weeks. But with two teens, food goes fast. I just feel like I'm on my last leg before a nervous breakdown................. I'm sorry to sound so gloomy.