I am in so much rage today about what to do with my life... I am on SSDI and I don't work (for pay), but I have always volunteered with my kids schools. Now I'm not sure I can handle it anymore. I am really torn up about this because the volunteer work fuels my passion and creativity and it's extremely rewarding for me and especially all the kids I help. AND there is no one who can do what I do. BUT I get wiped out physically and emotionally. I also have my kids and partner and a future with them to consider. Most of the time, it's a good day if I can dress and do some dishes or laundry or get groceries and just enjoy my family over a meal or playing a board game or playing with our dog in the yard. I am sooooo angry and sad and frustrated right now! I wish I could multitask the way I used to! There are always things needed for the kids class or a recital to attend. There's doctor appointments, Bdays to plan, holidays, playdates, a graduation, planning a summer trip, paying bills, doing taxes. I also have legal matters from a 3 year old divorce I am still dealing with, settlement and custody issues. I have personal projects... like we all do... that I want to take care of. (Organize family photos, go through boxes in the garage and get rid of stuff.) I HATE the though of letting go of my volunteer work. It makes me feel as if I'm a failure. BUT, would I be failing my family if I don't reserve my energy and health for them? And what about my future? Will my life and my health last longer if I lay low? Will I die younger and in more pain if I push myself? Arrrrgh!