Worried that I may never have much of an income again.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Manwithfibro, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. Manwithfibro

    Manwithfibro New Member

    I am deeply concerned about my ability to work again full time. I feel so bad in the mornings. I need to find a self employment alternative but not sure how to market it right so it brings in business.

    I am so beat up and exhausted from that long term career that ended badly.

    Any ideas on how to get going again? BTW, we are moving to CO soon. I am
    hoping the change does me some good.

    Our society is not set up to get sick. My body is so racked with pain today!

  2. PepperGirl52

    PepperGirl52 New Member

    have you applied for SSD or any long-term disability?

    I don't know anything about your history, or work/job history, so I can't be much help in pointing you in that direction.

    I know lots of people who sell things on ebay, and make a few bucks a month. It isn't a big deal, but if you get into the right niche, you can make a nice extra income.

    There are other jobs that offer the opportunity of working out of your home, depending on what it is you are trained to do. Other jobs let you work part time, in the evenings, afternoons, etc. Things like telemarketing, insurance billing, downloading things for banks, etc.

    I guess it's a matter of what you're trained to do, how long you can stand, sit, etc, and how many hours you can devote to your job. There are plenty of alternatives available, but they don't all offer gainful employment.

    You're right-our society is not set up for one to lose their income! I went through this almost 3 years ago when I had to face the reality that I could no longer work, not full or part time. It was hard, and it took me 2 years to be approved by SSD. I'm so thankful I had a LTD from the state that I worked for, that got me through!

    Hang in there, and if you have to, hire a SSD lawyer to help you figure things out. They don't charge you until you actually win your case. Take care. PG
  3. Manwithfibro

    Manwithfibro New Member

    On days like today, I just want to curl up in a corner.

    I am going to see a pain specialist in August. Maybe I can discuss with him my options.

  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    If you can no longer work, you have to take the energy you have and focus on getting disability payments. These could come from a private carrier (which only the rich have); a disability plan thru work (I had that); workers' compensation, state disability insurance, soc. sec. disability.

    Keep in mind no program will be eager to pay you. You have to get info., apply, keep records of all correspondence and phone calls, go to med appointments, maybe a hearing, etc.

    If you are applying for soc sec disability or workers' comp, you will need an attorney. The attorney will get paid out of your award so you don't have to put up any money.

    The country has billions for foreign aid but not much for it's own people.
  5. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    Some of the internet based programs for having a home income are not all that bad.

    I went to a couple of the 'freebie' seminars that have been given and in one case bought the material.

    What was good was that at the other luncheons I sat through I recieved info, but did not purchase. I hit when I felt it was right.

    If you have a few bucks stashed away and give a daily study of the stock market (CNBC, WSJ, journals-long term and short) it is possible to make a few bucks by the end of a week.

    And what is nice is that it can take your mind off of your problems. I have not gotten into this until the last three years or so.

    Like you, when I decided my career was over I was not sure what to do. So, I made a few strategic plans (#1 was to get rid of my husband). I put them on paper and over time I was able to make some extra change to help me along with finances.

    I wish you the best. I know how difficult it is when careers are ended.

  6. tonakay

    tonakay New Member

    Just want to say I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. How soon is the big move coming up? I hope you'll have loads of help with it.

  7. Manwithfibro

    Manwithfibro New Member

    Which means we may need to live in a Residence inn or something for a short period.

    Anyone have any experience with movers? Most reviews are pretty bad. Is United Van Lines ok? The reviews for North American, Bekins and Allied were dreadful.

    I am hoping our house sells. The market has went south here in a hurry. I am counting on this to provide for our new home and hopefully (fingers crossed) have some money left over.

    I am deeply scared at my age feeling this bad. In hindsight, I should have left on FMLA. That would have made it harder for them to fire me.

    Maybe getting out of such a negative place was for the best. I guess worst case, I will have to cash in my 401k and pay the penalty. My soul is crying for a rest period. I am trying to heal.

    I read this book "making work work for highly sensitive people" and it was me to a tee...I was stuck in Drudgery even though my pay was good. The morale
    and mood of the place was so bleak. I was absorbing all that negativity.

    I don't miss the 430am alarm clock.....don't know how I did it for so long. There were days I was dragging.
  8. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Tim, if I remember correctly - and I may not, lol - you're an accountant, right? And right now, what with the old job ending badly and the move, you must be under tremendous stress. Maybe right now isn't the time to think about another job. It would add a lot of pressure and anxiety to what's already going on. Yes, I realize you need income.

    The question was asked about SSD and it's a good option. It takes time, though, so when you get settled, you need to apply if you haven't already. I don't mean this in a negative way but I wouldn't count on the change making a huge difference immediately. Moves are HARD, even for well people.

    Seems to me that there will be opportunites for you at tax time and hopefully by then you'll be settled. Have you decided on a place to go? A place to live? [Oops! Just read ahead and see that you're looking at a Resident's Inn. Must you move before you sell your house? Resident's Inn's aren't cheap - but they do provide breakfast.... Use a good mover, maybe one with storage facilities. When I moved I tried to save money and it was a very bad plan. The movers actually stole my stuff.]

    You know, it used to be that men were expected to be The Providers for the family and I know that's what you'd like, but it may not be that way for awhile. I don't know what your wife thinks about this - and that's very important! - but she may have to be the bread winner for the time being. Can you manage your son on your own if she works? Maybe she does already work outside your home.... ?

    I'm so sorry....

    Here's a gentle hug for you. I have some extras from the conversation about missing men last night. ;>)

    [This Message was Edited on 07/27/2006]
  9. Manwithfibro

    Manwithfibro New Member

    She plans to work part time after the move.

    Maybe I should just lighten up on myself for awhile. I have been working since I was 9 years old...

    The amount of pain this humidity causes is insane.

    Take care and thanks to all who have shared.
  10. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    I am sorry and you are so right.

    We live as a family of three on about $20,000 a year. We live rather well I think, but this is because my FIL pays my health insurance. My DH and son(12) are both disabled.

    I have found that we actually have a far better lifestyle than people earning five times our income and apart from things we can well do without, they really have less than we have.

    I do not have a stressful job, nor will again. My DH and myself are together 24/7 and have been for many years and this is nice as we are such good friends. We are always there for our son, have a true bond rarely seen these days.

    Our son is happy with the simplest of things, he has no desires for trendy stuff, we live a simple and fulfilling life.

    We grow things(not this year as we are fixing up the house) to eat and share with friends who also grow things. We eat a simple though wholesome diet and walk a lot to save the one older vehicle we have and on gas.

    We read a lot, and play games as a family. We are the only people I ever see playing bocce or basketball or badminton out on our lawn-yes, the one that is full of weeds as we do not use chemicals like a lot round here, the ones whose children we never see outdoors.

    I do worry about our old age, but I feel that all will be well. I have friends who are up to their eyes in debt despite earning over $100,000 and with full medical, they also work themselves to the bone and never have the time or patience to be for long with one another.

    I think you are a smart man who will find some way of making some extra money without impacting your health.

    We all have computers here and this is our one luxury but it has to also work for itself. What could you do from home to make some money?

    So I think that in our society we are brainwashed into thinking we MUST have this or need so much money, but really it is an illusion. So long as you can keep warm, buy some food and get the health care you need, anything else is just icing on the cake. I actually prefer thrift store things to new, as they are broken in.

    Good luck. What was your career, I think it was teaching? Could you do tutoring privately? Or I once had a job working from home writing text books for a professor.

    LOve Anne Cromwell
  11. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Read this months Good Housekeeping page 136 (currently available in all dr's waiting rooms(LOL)has a good article on movers, and how to avoid being bilked. Many "movers" are actually brokers who sell your contract out. We had problems with this once as the worse people arrived, late and overcharged us.

    We actually found it cheaper twice to just sell all our stuff and take personal stuff only in a trailer.

    Just weigh up what is important to keep. Three times people who bought houses from us bought the furniture in wiht the price and it was a selling point for them as it made it easier for them to buy and furnish getting it all on a loan.

    We looked into PODS but found it expensive. Mayflower was always good for us twice and my MIL, but I do not know if they are nation wide.

    Love Anne Cromwell PS I was anwering your movers post and it came up here but you can get it here too.[This Message was Edited on 07/27/2006]
  12. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    What did you do before? What do you like to do, etc. Do you have kids that are involved in activities? Maybe that will give someone a little spark that can provide a good idea for you.

    Myself - I'm going to try to go back to eBay. I was selling for a while but I kept having problems with not getting shipments out in a timely manner. Some days, I didn't even feel like packaging. I decided to package first now and then list. The post office will pick up items for no charge if you have postage on them. The good thing with eBay is that you can list at any time when you feel good enough.
  13. wordbyrd

    wordbyrd New Member

    There is a Yahoo Groups website called "Real Jobs From Home."

    It's moderated and they research home-based job offers to make sure they are legitimate.

    It's easy to sign up: http://finance.groups.yahoo.com/group/RealJobs_FromHome/

    Where in Colorado are you moving to?
    I live in Northern Colorado. If I can be of assistance in providing some online resources for you, please let me know.

    There is a great support group that meets weekly in Fort Collins called NoCoNet, for job seekers:


    Best wishes,
  14. blessedmom2four

    blessedmom2four New Member

    hope you get to feeling better, try to not beat yourself up to bad, i know easier said then done.
  15. zion1971

    zion1971 New Member

    my husband is the primary breadwinner. i had to leave my career a year ago. he makes good money but my sporadic work history has left us in so much debt. hang in there. my faith is strong. we can find a way to live despite this thing. i have been researching for many months. i have not found anything yet, but believe i will. and you will too.