would you sign a "do not resuscitate order"?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Shannonsparkles, Apr 2, 2006.

  1. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    A "do not resuscitate order" can be part of a "living will."

    It means that if, for any reason your heartbeat or breathing stops, no one is allowed to do CPR on you. No lifesaving measures are to be taken if you are no longer able to breathe on your own.

    It's a controvercial subject right now. If you go into hospital, you may be asked if you want to sign one. Or if you get a disease that is considered terminal.

    If you're not able to communicate your wishes when a DNR order is in question, your loved ones and your doctor will decide for you.

    What are your thoughts on this subject?
    (( )) Shannon
  2. emiltim

    emiltim New Member

    No way! At least not at this point in my life...I have very young kids (single mom) that NEED their mommy. I'd do anything possible to be there for them.

    On the other hand- my gramma just died at 92 yrs. old. She was in terrible pain, and basically had no quality of life. So in her case it was quite understandable.

    I guess we need to make our loved ones aware of where we stand on issues like this....they may be the ones to make the final decision.

  3. claudia

    claudia New Member

    If I get to the point where I am a burden to my loved ones (meaning they would have to care for me physically and/ or financially), the last thing I would want is for them to make this sort of decision.

    If my health were to decline suddenly, or perhaps an accident with major damage occured I would not wish to exist on life support.

    I worked for many years as a Nursing Assistant, and have taken care of many people who are in a vegetative state. I would not wish this for myself, nor my loved ones.

    I have also signed a DNI form (do not intubate).

  4. Dara

    Dara New Member

    and what the illness is.

    When my Mother was hospitalized at age 87 in a semi comatose state the nurses asked me about it. She also explained that for a person of that age it could cause all sorts of problems, one she mentioned was broken ribs. So, under those circumstances I would say yes.

    But, if it were a younger person and there was the possibility of improvement I would have to say, give it a chance, and then if doctors agreed there was no hope for improvement or a good quality of life, I would have to agree with the DNR order.

  5. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    that is obvious...i do not want to live like terri shivley...a vegetable in the head and only a body in a bed....no thank you for me..i do not want my son or any loved ones to need to worry about me in a nursing home and not feeling sorry about me...

    celibrate my life that i had on this earth and have toast to me....

    i have a drinking horn haning in my living room ....i want some of my ashes in the bottom it sealed off with puter or steel...then my son can go have a drink with me anytime he wishes...and hang some of me on one of his walls...

    the rest of me i would like scattered out on lake michigan waters off from grand haven beach near holland michigan...

    and some off the golden gate for remembrance of his father's ship crossing many times out to sea and back home...

    that is my list of what i really care that they do when the time comes...

  6. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    I'm 23 years old. I still have some hope that my disease may become less severe. I am almost totally disabled. All I can do is play my recorder (little wooden flute) for a few minutes every day, type a bit, feed myself, and get to the bathroom in time. I lie down 98% of the day, and am housebound and in isolation. I suffer from the usual CFS/FM symptoms that come with our disease. I have little ability to read or to communicate. I can't watch TV most of the time.

    There was a flare last week when I was considering talking to my family about a DNR order. I even made a makeshift DNR sign and taped it over my bed as I slept for a few nights. It gave me a feeling of peace. Then I started feeling a bit more well again, and I took it down. I'm not commited to DNR at this time. And I'd like to discuss it with a doctor first. I don't know if I really understand all that it implies for me.

    There are conditions you can put on the order too. Things like, 'don't keep me on life support indefinately' vs. 'don't do CPR if I have a sudden attack of some kind.' I feel a need to look into a living will, just to see what my options are, and to talk it over with my family and health care providers.

    My grandpa suffered immesurably up till his death for years. It was with relief to me, after living with his pain, when I finally arranged the white roses and memorial photographs for his funeral. He was in world war II during his youth. I like to think that I've inherited his toughness of spirit.

    I do have a serrious disease. My quality of life keeps changing. I don't want to have someone else make life and (gulp)death decisions for me when my time comes. It's being realistic to have a living will for myself, especially with my family history.

    For now, I want to live more than anything. The suffering of my life is so bad. But seeing the new leaves comming out in the spring, and being able to talk to my family during the times when I am well enough to speak, and clinging to my faith, makes me want to endure it all.

    I think, if there was an emergency situation, like choking on food or something, I would want to have my life saved, even though it's only a little bit of a life. It's MY life! I value myself. If it was a permanant vegetative state though, surviving on life support and having "food" pumped into my stomach every day... that is less appealing, to tell the truth. I feel that I will need some counsel to make decisions such as these ones.

    Somebody mentioned funeral arrangements. It's comforting to me that this is a safe place to talk about things like this. My dad is so petrified of me dying that I wouldn't know how to begin to discuss this with him.

    I would want a headstone. A shiny black one, that's set into the ground so that you have to be practically on top of it to notice it's there. And I'd love to rest in a graveyard full of old people. I always loved old people, ever since I was a child. It seems a social place to rest.

    My mother's ashes were scattered on a mountain top. In winter she is cold. What's left of her seeps into the hillside, or mingles with icy breezes and whisps of frozen cloud, 10,000ft above the ground. She's up there with my grandfather. I couldn't bear, after a life spent basically alone and housebound, to end up on a windy hillside all alone, with no marker for the few hikers that pass on by to know I was there.

    Due to my disability, I have never been up there to see her. Dad says that the whole mountain is her monument. But I would not want to rest alone!

    I'll probably talk to my CFS specialist about the questions of a living will. I could order the forms for one, I suppose. I should order one. No one likes to think about these things. The thought of dying petrifies me. The days are hard to get through, but I don't want to immagine a time when I will be forced to lose out on them. But I want to be prepared. I have always been an organised person - just don't look in my messy bedroom! ;)

    I don't want to end up like my grandpa. Seven years after a stroke that left him paralyzed, and after several heart attacks (my little brother, who was under 10 years old at the time, saved his life by calling 911), he finally went to rest after suffering so horribly and so alone for years, with a wife who abused him and beat him, and denied him pain medications and his heart medicine and adequate food.

    I pray that nothing bad will happen to me. A DNR order is a way to say how bad it can get. But I don't feel ready for it yet.
    (((love))) Shannon
  7. jhmitch

    jhmitch New Member

    My father had a DNR order - he insisted it be posted in his home and hospital rooms. It was also made very clear to me that this was the most important aspect of his Living Will and that it was my job to be sure it was enforced.

    Even though I (& the hospital staff) completely understood his wishes, I still had one heck of an emotional ordeal dealing with the decision when I had to give the order to "let him go".

    Despite this, I have also requested a DNR. After 17 surgeries, multiple chronic medical problems, pain, and an abdominal incision wound that won't heal (I'm now on a VAC machine 24/7), I'd rather not hang around by artificial means when it reaches the time that I can't function on my own.

    My own Living Will says: "I do not want to remain on a ventilator or respirator if I am only 'technically' alive. Should I be terminally ill, my goal will be to get out of this world and into the next one as comfortably as possible, and without expending a great deal of time or resources trying to prevent the inevitable."

  8. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Shannon,
    I already have. I wrote up my own and gave it to my Dr. He keeps it in his files. It states that if the Dr. feels that I won't be able to live independently, or that my mind will be affectd, I don't want to be recusitated.

    I did this because my mom had open heart surgery at the age of 86, and was left on the pump too long. The result was that she went into dementia. She lived for 2 years after the operation, but they were two years full of humiliation and unhappiness, where she got worse and worse.. The cardiologist scared her into having an operation she always said whe would never have (she was a nurse).

  9. skyeone

    skyeone New Member

    Hi, once my daughter is a little older then i will be signing a DNR. Not only that but i already have infromed all i know that when i die, there will be no funeral. No i am not donating any organs (can't due to certain med probs), but i am donating my body to a medical teaching school where they examine corpses for learning perposes. Since my blood and organs are of no use to anyone i thought this would at least be helpful in the name of science.

    Really what do i need my body for once i'm dead? I have also added that there will be no funeral and no false burial sight. If my family wants to, they can have a memorial service, but that's the extent (they also know that they are to be happy and celebrate that i'm dead, and not morn for me, not that that will happen of course though).

    Sorry for being morbid, just thought i'd let you know my plans.

  10. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    ...no. Wtih the way my luck goes they would find a cure an hour after they unplug me...LOL.

    Thanks for the Interesting thread,

  11. lardsgirl

    lardsgirl New Member

    yes!!!!! I have one....and don't regret the plan...I just can't imagine leaving that to my family to have to sort out...everyone in my family has been notified and so I am ready to go anytime....don't get me wrong..I love life but I am ready!!!!
  12. Alyndra

    Alyndra New Member

    I've already done it.

    No doubt about it, if I'm gone or going - I don't want to be brought back to a life that well.. sucks.

    Just the same, I've made sure that signing the DNR means that even if I'm unable to make the decision myself - I will NOT get any organ needed for transplant.

    I don't want to use up an organ that an otherwise healthy person could fully benefit from.

    There's no point in me accepting an organ that I'm just gonna kill with all these medications anyways!

    My family has never wanted to talk about it, but at least I feel more comfortable knowing that I'll still have the final say.

    I may only be 22 years old now, but to me that just means a longer life of suffering if I'm brought back into it.

    [This Message was Edited on 04/03/2006]
  13. code34me

    code34me New Member

    I was terminally ill and knew it was inevitable. Tahat is what it was created for. I worked on an ambulance for many years and that was a very touchy subject. If that was the patients wishes all the paper work would have to be in order and if not we had to do advance life support . The families would be very upset at us and put us in a hard spot. I do agree with them in certain circumstances like I know I would not want to prolong death and put my family through that if it was for sure going to happen anyways. But at this point I am not terminally ill and would not agree to it now.

    Codey/ Code 3 4 me (get it?)
  14. darude

    darude New Member

    Glad to see you back!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes I already have a DNR as part of my will. I discussed this with my family and told them that Living with these dd's is very difficult and that if time to go then thats it GONE. My father had ALzheimers for over ten years and wanted to get out while he still could. He had stroke and they bought him back BIG mistake he had no life. He didn't get sick until he was 70 and lived till he was 80. As he said he had a good life up until then and the last few years were horrible.SOOOOO YES!
  15. caroleye

    caroleye New Member

    Ever since my "near-death" experience, and continued deteriorating illness, I signed & posted that DNR everywhere I could think of (lol)

    I think it's that ole Indian blood in me, where when they could no longer keep up with their tribe, they just wandered off & allowed themselves to pass onto the next dimension.

    Us more "evolved" (joke) want to keep on forcing & forcing with our new technologies. Personally, I like the natural route.

    Nice comforting question.

  16. tngirl

    tngirl New Member

    It was not a hard decision for me. And I think it makes it easier on family members to not have to make the decision.
  17. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I know I need a Living Will -- with me being 55 and in poor health, but I need to do more research on one -- I've never even read one before!

    As far as including a DNR order in one ..... it would totally depend upon WHAT MY QUALITY OF LIFE WOULD BE if I were to be successfully resuscitated.

    I would never want to be kept alive only to lie in a nursing home in a vegetative state!

    Sorry, gotta go now, my brain can't function any longer!! It's almost 2:30 am where I am and I'VE GOT TO GO TO BED!!!!

    Talk to you all tomorrow!
  18. livin4him

    livin4him New Member

    and then thankfully passed last year. He definitely should have had one. He had to lay there year after year totally disabled, it was awful, awful, awful. I have one and I urge everyone to fill out a living will. You can put exactly what you want on there. If you only want for them to try for a certain amount of time or whatever. But everyone should have one, if not for themselves, for their loved ones. So their loved ones what have to suffer needlessly.

    I also had a friend whose mother went in for a "easy" surgery. The anthesesia (sp?) was given wrong and she was in a coma for five years before passing last year also. The person who gave the anth. committed suicide.

    I don't know why anyone wouldn't after watching the Terry Shivo (sp?) case.
  19. wildflowers2

    wildflowers2 New Member

    Its nice you wrote one up yourself .However, did you get it from a Lawyer.? WHY you ask? Simple, the wording...

    Hospitals can fight a person on the Wording.
    I went to my lawyer and had him draw mine up along with a
    durable power of attorney for my husband.

    YOU see IF and WHEN the time comes your loved ones can
    come into all kind of problems with health care.

    AND IF< you are not in sound mine. THEN what you wrote means nothing to a hospital.

  20. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    My living will states that after six days of life saving devices, the plug is to be pulled. Enough is enough.