Yet another newbie and my wish for my doc

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by aquabugs, Aug 8, 2005.

  1. aquabugs

    aquabugs New Member

    Hello all

    My name is Sylvia and although I've been lurking and reading here for a little while, this is my first (oops, second) post.

    I was only recently diagnosed with FM and CFS after having been treated for another autoimmune disorder for 4 years.

    My current rheumy has decided I do not have the AI disorder and only mentioned in passing that I have FM.

    We were talking about some pain I was having and he said, "Oh that's from your fibromyalgia."

    That was news to me and I asked for confirmation of what he'd said.

    He said, "Yes, but we don't like to TELL people they have FM because then they will just sit down and say 'I can't do anything because I have FM.'"

    I didn't think much about it at the time, but have since reconsidered.

    At my visit last month he told me he thinks I have CFS and he prescribed antidepressants to "help with the pain," however, he let slip that "we know this is caused by depression."

    He questioned me thoroughly about my family situation and yes I do have some major stressors right now and I have a high level of anxiety.

    But he seems certain that I am depressed and that if I rest, get rid of stress, and take more antidepressants, that I will get over this.

    I see from reading this board, that kind of thinking is inaccurate to say the least.

    I told him I do not agree that I am basically depressed as I have many things I am interested in and many things on my "to do" list,

    but right now I simply do not have the energy to get it done.

    I told him THAT was what depressed me and gave me a lot of anxiety...not being able to do any of the simplest things I want to do,

    not to mention having to miss more than 50% of my work time last month. But he still says "depression."

    I noticed that when I saw my PCP later in the same week (same clinic, same records)

    the nurse checking me in basically put me through a depression questionnaire, so apparently he has me down as a "head case."

    I'm really PO'd about that right now.

    As for him telling me I "JUST" have FM and/or CFS, I have this wish for him....

    I'd like for him to take my place for a just month and see how I feel.

    He would have to commute 100 miles a day and work and then drag himself home and do nothing but fall into bed only to get up tomorrow and do it all over again

    OR wake up in the morning feeing as if a Mack truck had run over him repeatedly and not feel like moving, much less like getting out of bed and going to work.

    He'd miss many productive days laying in bed or on the couch feeling like death warmed over.

    He'd feel lonely and frustrated because he couldn't function like he used to or like he wanted to, all he could do is lie there and wait to feel better.

    He'd get to try to explain to his boss and higher ups about why he was missing so much work when he doesn't even look sick or when he was "just fine yesterday."

    He'd get to see his co-workers looking at him and thinking "What a slacker!"

    He'd feel the pain of trying so hard to get through the day and be productive and then have the fatigue hit so hard he has to go to his boss yet again and ask to leave early

    and THEN he'd have to drive 50 miles just to get home so he could fall onto the bed.

    He'd again feel the pain of having lost the person he used to be and feel so frustrated because no one can truly understand this beast unless they are in it's grasp.

    I'd love for him to feel the humilitation of not being able to remember the simplest thing his spouse asked him to do an hour ago

    and to see the disappointment and disguised anger in their eyes because he's forgotten that simple thing for the 4th time now.

    I want him to know how scary it is to have thoughts die mid-sentence

    and have family members and co-workers standing mutely while you fumble to find the word for "pencil" or his own child's name.

    Let him hear people ask how he is feeling and have them cut him off to say, "Oh yes, I am really tired today too."

    Or, "Gee, you look great," when he feels like he can't make another step.

    I'd like for him to feel the cutting sarcasm from those unsympathetic family members who say, "Yeah, I know, you're sick AGAIN."

    Let him feel the disappointment of his loved ones when he has to back out of yet another family outing or of sitting back exhausted while everyone else goes on with their normal lives.

    Perhaps best of all, he should experience feeling the way we feel everyday and going to a doctor for help.

    The doctor will send him to give gallons of blood and to every specialist in the alphabet only for all the tests to come back and the doc says to him,

    "Everything is normal, there is nothing wrong with you. You're just depressed."

    Let him feel helpless, useless, hopeless, stupid, and crazy having to deal with all of this. That is my wish for my doctor.

    Not forever, I don't wish this on anyone. But these docs need to walk in our shoes.

    Then perhaps they would look further than "it's all in your head."

    Take care all
    Sylvia

    [This Message was Edited on 08/08/2005]
  2. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    and I am not as bad or misunderstood as most and I think that was an AWESOME post. I think you should print it and fax it to his office.

    Better yet, get some other suffers together and storm the office, like in Night of the Living Dead or something!!!

    Sonya
  3. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    Can you break it up so I can read it? Thanks,Linda Welcome!
  4. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    Welcome to the group. I'm another one who has problems reading long paragraphs and if you could make them smaller it would be easier for me to read them also.

    Sorry about your doc. Mine doesn't say much and I don't say much about FM to him. I just talk about pain. I last told him I was taking Advil, but that it tore my stomach up after 5 days and he said I shouldn't be using that. So that is how I finally got pain meds.

    I got Lortabs on 5/20. After 10 years of practically nothing for pain, I finally got enough meds for that.

    One hint is don't wear makeup to docs you are seeing for FMS or CFS, or whatever you have, because I think they feel if you can get makeup on you don't feel all that badly.

    Hugs,
    Faye
  5. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Aquabugs:
    I would go to the doctor armed with a small, concise info page about what fibromyalgia really is--something he can read while you are in the examination with him. Let him know that you need to have a hand in your treatment and then tell him what you need--whatever that may be. For many of us it is pain meds. It makes life just a little more bearable. Only a suggestion---doc and you know best.
    NyroFan
  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Most of us could have wrote your post, and that is a known fact among us.

    First go find another doctor, one who believes in CFS/FM.

    That would be the smart thing for you to do.

    Again, welcome to the board, and glad you have decide to post.....


    Shalom, Shirl
  7. aquabugs

    aquabugs New Member

    Sorry it's so long, but maybe now easier to read.

    Thanks for the welcome
    Sylvia
  8. ldbgcoleman

    ldbgcoleman New Member

    Welcome! Great first oops second post. I hope you will think about searching for a Dr who wll treat this aggressively and be supportive. Welcome to the board! Glad to have you here! Lynn
  9. elsa

    elsa New Member



    I'm glad you're here. Lot's of great support and imformation.


    Get a new doctor NOW!!! No need in this day and age to go through that rubbish. I suggest you print out a couple of the posts that prove pain is real in FM/CFS and has genetic markers.

    Take a tape recorder with you. Set it right on the counter. Say, I'm sure you don't mind....my memory is tricky right now, and I don't want to forgot anything.

    While you're in this meeting, get copy of all your records. You paid for them....they belong to you. Don't leave that office without them.

    If, at the end of this consult he still treats you like it's all in your head, then say thank you, but me and my records are going to find a more up to date, progressive MD to partner with in the treatment of my FM.

    There is no excuse for his thought process. Be assertive about your health.....but always be pleasant about it. LOL

    Good luck,

    Elsa
  10. lilbird

    lilbird New Member

    Glad to have you aboard.

    There are some good Dr. out there. Find one of them, you deserve better.

    Great post, it says it all.

    Cathy