Yet another traumatic update from Doxy

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by doxygirl, Jul 28, 2006.

  1. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    Well my fibro is flaring so badly now.............. and Iam have absolutely no doubt, that stress does indeed make our dd worse!

    Today was the first day that we've gotten to see Cohen in an entire month ( for me that was too long and hard) I missed him so much!

    In my son's mediation meeting he and mother of Cohen made a verbal agreement to allow my son 2 hours twice a week to begin bonding with Cohen................ this was only because the mediator basically said she pretty much had no other choice.

    So..............the other grandmother had to drop Cohen off at my work place...since they are claiming Iam "unfit" to be around since I have fibromyalgia and take prescribed medication for dd and migraine headaches!

    They also claim my entire family and house if unfit for those of you who may have missed the post!

    Anyway the other grandmother dropped Cohen off and was very nasty to my son...she went through the diaper bag we have for Cohen and said " I want to make sure you have the right formula and bottles for him" in a nasty tone of voice.......after she saw that we were completly responsible and had everything we needed for him she left....................

    we enjoyed every single second we had with Cohen and the two hours went fast!

    It was so funny because it seemed like Cohen knew my son was his Daddy he kept looking at my son and smiling bigger than I've ever seen him smile......when my son would look away Cohen would keep waiting for him to look and as soon as he did his face would light up again!

    This was so precious to me! I loved seeing that!

    Anyway when our time was up the mother of Cohen came to pick him up on her way home from work...........I was there, my aspergers son was there and my sons girlfriend was there.........

    We all thought it went fairly well.....Cohens mom seemed much more pleasant than her mother was!

    She took Cohen and left............

    Shortly after,.................... she text messaged my son and said " your girlfriend ruined everything.........the moderator said no significant others are to be present during visitaitons"!

    My son text messaged her back and said " that was NOt agreed at the meeting it was NEVER even brought up.......and you can't keep Cohen from being around my family when he is always around yours"

    She finally text'd him back and said "your right......but your supposed to be "bonding with Cohen not spending time with your girlfriend when your with him"!

    PLEASE keep in mind that my sons girlfriend is the sweetest girl he has EVER dated...she has a baby that is now two and she is a VERY GOOD MOM!

    She just wanted to meet my sons son.......she is marrying my son soon and wants to know Cohen too!

    Not one of us would ever do ONE thing to harm Cohen in any way shape or form..............

    I wish they would stop making excuses, and accusations because they are jealous and insecure.........

    maybe if Cohens mom would move on in her life, she would be happy too.........and stop feeling the need to try to make all of us miserable,...... like they are! ( mother and other grandmother)

    Sorry for venting so much, but my chest is hurting from my nerves and I needed to talk about his to get it out!

    Thanks for listening
    Xo
    Doxy


    [This Message was Edited on 07/29/2006]
  2. janieb

    janieb New Member

    What a mess, huh? I have very strong feelings about parents who separate/divorce, whatever, and use their child/children to fight their battles.

    They just can't seem to get it that the child needs both parents, even if they're not married.

    I've seen extremely nice, bright people go through this and it always seems to so NOT benefit the child.

    Glad you had time with him and it went well.

    Blessings,

    janie
  3. pammy52

    pammy52 New Member

    Having been thru more crap regarding grandkids and custody issues then I could tell you about, I understand how you are feeling.

    The kids are always the ones that get shortchanged and it is so sad and disgusting when any one isn't able to put the child first.

    I hope with time this will begin to get easier.

    Hugs, Pammy
  4. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I have read your posts and my heart goes out to you, your son, and grandson.

    My son married the girl that had his daughter, she cheated on him and he told her to leave. He even told her if she could act like a mother and wife she could stay. She would not do that.

    They where divorced and my son was granted custody of my beautiful granddaughter. The mother was granted visitation, in court she stated that she wanted less time. She was told to pay child support which she did for a while. She "lost" her job in January and last we heard still does not have a job. We have documented the visitations, and she has missed more than she has kept. A friend of hers lives down the street from us, and a neighbor has seen her on more than on of those visitation days visiting her friend but she cannot pick up her daughter.

    This is the same girl that when she was pregnant stated that if she could have found the money she would have gotten an abortion, and she told her Grandmother that for Christmas she wanted a kick in the stomach and a push down the stairs.

    Your Grandson's mother should be thank ful that your son and you want to be a part of Cohen's life and your son wants to take responsibilty.

    I will keep all of you in my prayers.
  5. Denamay

    Denamay New Member

    My dear,what a mess, but hang in there.

    I spent nearly 20 years trying to stay on the good side of my former daughter in-law who had custody of my grandchildren.

    Let me tell you it was not easy but the effort was well worth it.

    It is nice now, that they are on there own and I do not have to deal with her any more.

    Somehow she mannaged to raise two lovely young adults that I enjoy a a good relationship with.

    You have no idea what a relief that is!

    Wishing you all the best and keep doing the right thing. Love Denamay
  6. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    and i am surprised that they did allow your son's gf in the mediation room...it would've never flied here....

    my ex brought is little gf to the visitation battle...in front of the judge...we were all in a private chamber for it...

    i asked my attorney if she was allowed in there and she said absolutely not...only the parents of the child....and attorney's...thank goodness it was bad enough w/just him in the room w/me..

    he turned on his best manic phase...pulled out pics of my car and a newspaper and told her how he was following me...and said that i take my son to the bar...it was a family sports bar...serves food..had pool tables adn ping pong...
    point was my son wasnt' w/me he was accross the street playing magic cards.....

    judge laid into him for stalking me and if she ever hears about it again he would be having restraining order slapped on him...

    well anywho....you and your son had a good day...there will be more...

    i feel the mother of cohen is sadden by the fact that she does not have her family together and she will need to come to terms w/it....some therapy will help...

    but the mean granny is just out for something...i do not get her at all...

    does she live w/her daughter? i wonder if she is hoping for more child support for some reason....

    like i said the courts beleive the child has a right to each parent...and i do not believe they can get away with saying cohen can not be around you doxy...

    you have not committed any crimes...so they really do not have a leg to stand on..

    jodie
  7. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    I am sorry to keep bringing this up, but it is far better to try and stay above this girl and her family's manipulations. They are trying to manipulate you by pushing all of your buttons. Please try not to be texting in a response, as she will use everything to her own ends.

    There is absolutely no way you should be taking this garbage.

    As I suggested before. You need to be contacting a higher up of the mediation company(they usually emply companies to do the mediation) and ask for an interview to tell them you felt the mediation took everything this girl said at face value without any proof she ws telling the truth.

    Is it at all possible you can get a lawyer? You really need to watch getting drawn into negative comments. The smartest thing is always to respond with a positive comment, it will work in your best interests in the long run.

    If the girlfriend had not have been there it would have been something else. I am glad your son intends to marry this girl as she has a big heart to stand by him.

    Just try and rise above these two vindictive people, as I say, it will only be a matter of time before the mom and the girl start falling out, or they slip up. Just keep your own counsel, and enjoy the time you get with Cohen. They are gathering ammunition by trying to elicit a negative response from you. Smile at everything!!!!

    Love Anne Cromwell