You Know You Have CFS/FM When...

Discussion in 'Homebound/Bedbound' started by hangininthere, May 1, 2014.

  1. hangininthere

    hangininthere Well-Known Member

    These are hilarious posts I culled from a thread here years ago and saved. Here's the original link:

    http://forums.prohealth.com/forums/...u-know-you-have-fms-when.209509/#post-1189357


    You Know You Have CFS/FM When...

    Dust bunnies become pets.

    When people ask if you're drunk and you're not but wish you were...

    Your 1st grader can spell better than you.

    Flies buzz around you cuz you thought that shower was 2 days ago when it really was 2 weeks ago.

    Everyone asks why you're getting dressed up when you ask for someone to help you brush your hair.

    Your pajamas are now your everyday clothes.

    People come to you for medical advice instead of their family doctor.

    You don't worry about avoiding temptation. With CFS/FM, it will avoid you.

    You know you have CFS/FM when getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.

    You know you have CFS/FM when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

    You know you have CFS/FM when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

    You know you have CFS/FM when you have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.

    You know you have CFS/FM when you get up to change the TV channel and decide as long as you're up, you might as well go to bed.

    You know you have CFS/FM when you can't finish a conversation, because you don't remember what you were talking about.

    You know you have CFS/FM when you have to get rid of your dog; he kept trying to drag you to the yard to bury you.

    You know you have CFS/FM when you get the vacuum out because, by golly, today's the day your going to DO SOMETHING, and then you have to lay down and get hubby to put the stupid thing away. Unused.

    You know you have CFS/FM because it's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

    You boil the kettle dry three times to get one cup of tea.

    You read 100 e-mails from your online support group, and then realize you're in the trash folder.

    You get in the car and sit down on the passenger side then realize that you came to the mall alone.

    You keep trying to unlock the door to the house with the car remote.

    You get lost 200 yards from home.

    You sign a document and then realize you've spelled your own surname wrong.

    You just spray the cats down with pledge and throw them across the furniture.

    You go to visit someone in the hospital and you are jealous of them because they get to lie down.

    Any conversation can suddenly turn into a round of "Charades".

    You take your teenager to the mall and the first thing you look for is a chair/couch you can sit down in.

    Your 74 year old mother is wearing you out when you take her to town and you have to limit her to two stores versus the 5 she wants to go to.

    You can no longer schedule morning appointments.

    You wake up and need a nap two hours later.

    You are getting really graceful at crawling up stairs on your hands and knees.

    You get an electric toothbrush, because the manual kind just takes too much energy.

    You switch to dish liquid to wash with because it rinses off so quickly and you know you only have a tiny window of time to get showered.

    On a good day, you sit on your wheeled desk chair to roll around pushing the vacuum cleaner in front of you. This is your biggest exercise workout for the month.

    Your friends & family are used to you lying down on the floor suddenly, casually & without warning in the middle of a conversation with no break in the flow of your sentence.

    You keep looking for the keys in your purse while you’re holding them in your hand.

    You call the same person three times in one day to tell them exactly what you told them the first time.

    You call your husband by the dog's name on a continual basis and get angry when he doesn't answer.

    You forget how to get back to your house that you have lived in for years.

    You knock yourself out by running into a cabinet door (tree, furniture etc...)

    You wake up and can't remember your husband’s name.

    You search an entire day for your remote control and find it by accident in the crisper drawer of your refrigerator.

    You have everything you need to live for a week on your nightstand.

    ____________________

    And Rock wrote this sage reply at the end:

    Couple years ago I ordered flowers to be sent to my ailing aunt. When the Florist asked for my address, I had to hunt around and find an envelope.

    And so we see from all these, that once again comedy and tragedy are intertwined.
    Last edited: May 2, 2014
  2. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    These are hilarious. :) I had just mentioned these on your other post, I didn't know you'd already done this. It's great. Brings back lots of memories.

    Maybe we can add some more to them. Thank you so much, Hangininthere! GB
  3. Soul*

    Soul* Well-Known Member

    You are bruised all over after standing on a kitchen ladder.
  4. ConfusedInPA

    ConfusedInPA Well-Known Member

  5. hangininthere

    hangininthere Well-Known Member

    Oh yayyyy! That's it! Thanks!

    I'll add the link to my original post!

    It'd be good to bump it to the top on the other board it was on too!

    Patti
  6. ConfusedInPA

    ConfusedInPA Well-Known Member

    Patti,

    You're welcome. I think that if you click on the link, it'll take you to the ME/CFS/FM board -- directly to that post.

    Then you can add a bump. (Don't delete your bump, after bumping, or the post will be "buried" again, and won't be on top. I learned that a while ago.)

    :)
    Last edited: May 2, 2014
  7. hangininthere

    hangininthere Well-Known Member

    I bumped it up! Thanks for the tip on not deleting my bump after I bump. LOL
  8. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hey, Kids

    Reminds me of the old song from the 60s. "Who put the Bomp in the bomp, bomp a bomp."

    Rock
  9. hangininthere

    hangininthere Well-Known Member

    Hahaha, Rock.

    It reminded me of the dance 'The Bump' that came out some time in the 70's.

    Someone I know came back from California and showed it to us. It hadn't hit our state yet, as California used to be the first to do anything new, hip, and cool.

    I didn't believe her. I thought she was bullcrapping us. Haha.

    Patti
  10. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    Rock, Who sang that bomp song?
  11. gb66, I think it was The Sylvers that sang it. I remember my friend teaching me the dance to it (I think I was 12). Patti I was living in Southern California :)

    Oops edited to say that I just realized you were asking about the bomp song not bump.
  12. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hi GB, in response to your question about the Bomp song, it was writ and sung by Barry Mann.

    He and his wife were song writers. See Wikipedia for a list of their successful songs and the
    folks who sang them. Most of the songs I never heard of it, but one I liked very much. Barry
    wrote it with Dan Hill, and it was a hit. "Sometimes When We Touch".

    I'm a great fan of Youtube. Listening to old songs and singers who are gone is almost like
    time travel. Reminds me of time when I was young and healthy. And don't forget cute.
    Good thing that even though I'm now old and withered and falling apart, I've kept my
    stunning good looks and sense of humor.

    Rock
  13. Soul*

    Soul* Well-Known Member

    The ramalamadingdong?
  14. I love YouTube and old songs too but I have a problem.....an internet problem I live way out in the country and my only choice is satellite which only allows us a limited amount of bandwidth a day. Videos, even short ones really eat up our allotment......I have to bookmark the songs and save for our free bandwidth period which is between 2 and 7am.........hard to get up and functioning enough to watch before 7am!!!
  15. moonstar2727

    moonstar2727 Member

    TOTALLY FAB..WE MUST LAUGH TO RID THE NEGATIVE FOR SURE
  16. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    Soul, Maybe it was Sha Na Na.
  17. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome to Moonstar. Glad to have your contributions!
  18. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    Soul, Maybe it was Sha Na Na.
  19. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hi Moonstar

    Welcome to the Board. Check out the thread on celestial songs. Lottsa moon songs.
    Maybe you know some more.

    Rock
  20. Soul*

    Soul* Well-Known Member

    LauraElizabeth I love your profile picture! Ever so true! :)