You might be a ............If.........

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by therealmadscientist, Jun 6, 2007.

  1. therealmadscientist

    therealmadscientist New Member

    Was watching Jeff Foxworthy the other day and wondered if something similar might be done with Bipolar and Borderline personality disorder, etc. Without being insensitive or offensive.

    Here are some attempts. I Will quickly delete any that are over edge. (Or just plain not funny.):


    You might be Depressed if visit a natural wonder, Niagra Falls, and are only interested in survival rates of those who went over.

    You might be Bipolar if you live in a two bedroom house and one bedroom makes Gothic look cheerful. The other bedroom looks like Disneyland.

    You might be Depressed if you lost tv channel changer a week ago and still haven't bothered to look for it.
    You might be Depressed if you recently lost 10 lbs staring at refrigerator.

    You might be on medications if you recently gained 10 lbs.

    You might be Depressed if you are flying in an airplane and don't feel at all nervous about crashing.

    You might be BPD if your last therapist is in jail.

    Your might be depressed if the only adult you talked to in last week was a telemarketer.

    Anyway, maybe a flop of a post, but might stimulate a few brain, laughter cells if anyone wants to add on. Cheers, your Mr Bill

    (changed headline)

    [This Message was Edited on 06/07/2007]
    [This Message was Edited on 06/07/2007]
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Those are pretty funny. (But the headline is misleading.)
    Here's a test I found on the net. If a lot of these apply to you, there exists the possibility of a problem. (No author listed.)

    * The sun is too loud.
    * Trees begin to chase you.
    * You can see individual air molecules vibrating.

    * You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
    * You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
    * You can hear mimes.

    * You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up.
    * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
    * You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

    * Things become "Very Clear."
    * You ask the drive-through attendant if you can get your order to go.
    * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

    * You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chandeliers can understand.
    * The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
    * You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!" even though you are the only one in the room.

    * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
    * Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
    * You and Reality file for divorce.

    * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
    * You can skip without a rope.
    * It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.

    * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
    * You can travel without moving.
    * Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

    * You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
    * You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
    * You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

    * Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.


    Rock




  3. therealmadscientist

    therealmadscientist New Member

    Those were funny Rock. Does worry me that it took so long for me to realize that some sentences were repeated.
    Bill