******YOU WOKE ME UP, PLEASE, HELP ME!!!!!!!!**************

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Debgene56, Mar 15, 2003.

  1. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

    I posted "hurting, don't know what to do. Danisue wrote back why don't you take pain meds when they are offered. I went to bed last night with my head a whirling. Then my husband downloaded adobe acrobat this morning and burnt out the harddrive. I have to say I felt panicky!!!!!!!!!!!! He got our origional 407 megabite hardrive working for now. You don't know what a relief that was to me. You have been the only understanding, the only support I have, the only thing that has kept my mental state going. When I knew that was gone, I literally felt sick to my stomache and shaky.

    Danisue wrote that when you live in pain you don't function right and can't make good decisions for yourself. I have been chewing on that since last night. I told my mom about the site and she called tonight, and I knew she read what Danisue had written. I needed that conversation so Danisue and the others, I can't tell you how much I thankyou and how grateful I am for you just being you. In a nutshell, my saving grace.

    I had fm while I took the xanax, but I dealt with it. I could live, and I could work. I stopped the xanax 6 months after the other half of my soul died to prostate cancer. No he wasn't my husband, he was a 70 year old man, who had my heart and my soul. He made me feel like undescribable!!
    He died, after watching his strenght and dignity stripped from him. It killed me. And I did not grieve, I couldn't, I would not, I was to angry with him. But my life fell apart. The one bright spot from my life, the one that kept me going, gone. Six months after that I went into detox. I have not been the same since. That was over 3 years ago. The pain increased, the fatigue so overbearing that I have to hold myself up to do the dishes and lay down afterwards. The paincausing denture setting off my tmj.
    I got so tired od doc's saying you have anxiety, and pushing antidepressants at me. I took prozsac twice, and lost 16, and 13 pounds on it. Yes I felt better on it. I have been in therapy for the past year, and I keep hearing you shouldn't have to suffer like this. I have been walking around in pain for so long that sometimes I can't think straight. It really gets me when I drive, where I am not confident to make the right decisions at the right time.
    I also lost 36 pounds over the past three years.
    So I have had the same doc for over a year. He is kind and caring, but my blood work comes back ok, and he blames everything on stress, wierd feelings on peri meri menopause, some on fibro and the rest on my weakened immune system because I am allergic to my marriage. But no offers to help anything. So I kind of stopped going to him. I am angry and I am hurt and I am confused. I am walking around in a pain induced fog. When the only relief I get is laying down at night with my heated mattress pad and a hot pack and a heating pad that is pretty bad. I take the edge off at night with some kuluha. I don't get tipsy, but I use it for medicinal purposes. That is really bad. And I am so fed up with my self. My mom said your on a merrygoround, and it's not stopping so you can get off.

    So I ask you all, what do I do. I am ready to stop this. And for those that do not do know, I am scared to death of all pills after what xanax did to me. My mom pointed out that it took six years to get me to that state. In all honesty, my mind and my body needs a break. But I can't go anywhere. My husband can go along with anything if you know what I mean. I get no support. My kids act up cause thier so sick of mom not feeling good. I get quite often "what else is new??" You don't know how bad that hurts and how much of a failure I feel like.

    God works in mysterious ways, I wanted a computer for so long, but couldn't have one because I couldn't afford one. Then a junky old one came my way for free right before I found this site. So I am ready for help, but I don't know what to do. And for the record, the only one that has offered pain rerief was my dentist for temporary pain, and a er doc recently that gave me a script for celebrex, but I read that dosen't work.

    I know one thing, I have been living with such pain in my head and face for so long due to a ill fitting denture, that set's my tmj off. I was just recently told I needed surgery to remove bony ridges before I could ever wear a denture with out pain. I was so relieved to hear that, but so reluctant, because I can't imagine feeling any worse than I do now, and I know what surgery is going to do. I believe strongly that the pain from the denture and the tmj is greatly exasperating my fibro, not to mention my unhappy life and no money to buy what I need, and no way of working and being with people. I am so alone, except for this site.

    So friends, what do I do, where do I start, and how do I deal with my anxiexy with pills and thier affects? In all honesty, in my 46 years I have never known anybody who could put up with what I have gone thru. But my tolerence went from 10 to 1 and I can't deal any more and truthfully I am really scared. And Mom, I know you reading this, Thank you so much for tonight, you don't know how much I needed to hear you believe and the advice that followed. I love you more than you will ever know.

    I need to go to bed, I have really had enough for today. Thank you all for your love and support. Pammy, I need you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love and thanks and hugs,
    Deb
  2. aprilhuque

    aprilhuque New Member

    I just read your email and don't know if i can help you much but i am here for you and i know that you can make it through this

    i have tmj too and cfids and fms and all of it makes me loco

    but, physical therapy has helped a lot, and going on a soft diet, also, use moist heat on each side alternating 20 minutes with cold several times a day. that is all that i do in addition to the pills

    i also sleep with a night guard that my dentist made that is hard and it helps quite a bit, at least at night, because i clench and grind a bit.

    your physical therapist can have a splint made for you to wear during the daytime . . .

    love
    and soft hugs to you
    april
  3. jeanderek

    jeanderek New Member

    I know what you must be going through. I know scarey dealing with medications. I too was scared to death when I started taking pain medications because I was scared of addiction. The thing that we need to realize is if we NEED medication to relieve our pain then there is nothing wrong with taking it. You need to find a good doctor who will take the time to hear you out and work with you on a monthly basis till you find what works for you (and then every three months at least to keep an eye on what is going on). Understand that if you do start taking pain medications that you need to take them as prescribed so to avoid addiction and tolerence to a medication. I am taking oxycontin for my pain and its one of the stronger pain medications. I started out on darvocet. I have also taken tylenol 3, vicodin, lortab, percocet, and many different muscle relaxers. You really need to have the denture thing taken care of so you can get some relief of it. I know having any kind of surgery is scary and no one wants to do it but think of what the benefits would be in the long run. I too am limited on cash and its hard to make ends meet on a limited budget but there are places in most cities where you can get free health care or low cost. I would call your local Health Dept and see what services they offer for those who are limited with income. I hope that you feel better soon. I know the pain you must be in. Although you had a bad experience with one medication it doesnt mean that all medications are going to do you that way. Its the only solution that I see for your right now esp with this DD. Don't limit yourself because your scared, we all are. Take a chance and see if you can stop your pain or at least help to ease it. Take care Deb and I hope that you feel better really soon. I hope that you don't think that I was being to forward but I just know how much the teeth and gum thing hurts and there is no way I wouldn't do anything in the world to stop it. Best wishes sweetie and we are here for you

    hugs,
    Jeanna
  4. Tattoopixie

    Tattoopixie New Member

    Deb,
    Hi, am sorry to hear you are in such pain. I will try to make this as easy as possible:
    1. Take the celebrex! I have taken it & it does work for 'some' of the pain-even taking the 'edge' off should help you some for now. (If you can't take it can you take advil? Some of us use that).

    2. Get some epsom salts & take a warm bath-lots of us use this too!

    2. Why wait til the end of the day to use that heated matress pad? Can you lay down during the day? If not, can your husband put it on the couch for you to use? Does ice or heat help your TMJ pain? Try it & use what works.

    3. Go to urgent care or ER if you are in unbearable pain tonight or tomorrow-there is not reason not to ask for help if you are in pain.
    Do not minimize your pain!!!! It is real!!!

    4. Get a new Dr first thing on Monday- tell the nurse it's URGENT that you have BAD PAIN & CANNOT WAIT! Crying on the phone is okay, been there, done that! Do NOT feel embarassed or guilty!

    5. Get as much rest as possible & be good to yourself! Don't put up w/your kids taking advantage of the situation-mine have learned that they have to let me rest or they get sent to their rooms for the entire day! I know this is easier said than done, but had to try for you!

    6. Come online here as often as you can to know you are not alone, to vent, & to be supported! That's what we all do for each other!
    Take care,
    Pixie
  5. pearls

    pearls New Member

    You MUST get a new doctor. I agree it has to be tomorrow. First, though, I would ask if he or she treats fibromyalgia. If the doctor does not - for whatever reason - there is no need to go to that one! We have enough problems without wasting our time.

    Anyway, THE PAIN ITSELF IS HARMFUL! You MUST be treated for it. I take several medications for pain: oxycontin (which in California must be hand carried to the pharmacist because of some addicts crushing it to get a high - and is not an emergency medication. It takes the edge off over the 12 hours between doses, or whatever your doctor prescribes), Celebrex (which does not act right away, either), Vicodin (which is my emergengy pain medication, and it usually works fast), and Neurontin (which also helps with sleep). By the way, I've never had the slightest "high" from any of these. What I get is relief from PAIN.

    I take a lot of other meds, as well, and am especially happy that I'm now able to sleep through most nights. That's so important.

    Anyway, you must control the pain. You must control the lack of sleep. You must control whatever else is bothering you, such as stomach difficulties or whatever.

    Get that doctor! If the first one doesn't work out, get another!

    Soft hugs,
    -Pearl
    [This Message was Edited on 03/15/2003]
  6. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

  7. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

    I am overwhelmed by the support. My kids are boys 12 and 14, the younger definant and hyper, the older softer and sensitive. The older one reacts to the younger one's behavior. It is rough. I have threatened to leave many times with the 12 year old. But I didn't have a place to go, so it was a empty threat and he knew it.

    I had an excellant doc years back. She was thorough and fought for your rights as a patient with hmo's. She listened and really tried to help. The office was a shambles though, things didn't get done, you could be put on hold for hours. The help was on the rude side. My friend that died went to a doc in that office also. After he died, a office person said i got rude with her on the phone and she felt threatened. No I didn't threaten at all, that is not my style. But I was fed up. So the manager called me in and thought it best for me to get another doc. So I did. I would like to go back to her, but I am not sure how to go around it. Any ideas? I do have good insurance.

    I am really glad I posted this. I am going to follow this thru, I have been so wiped out for so long that I just went with another day into another day.

    I am going to print this out and give to whoever I end up with. I have a major medical center 45 minutes away from here, I am going to call in see if they reccommend anybody for fibro. I also once went to a rheummy at the same place. I once did physical therapy and it helped alot. I also used to go to the chiro alot.
    Thanks again,
    Love,
    Deb

    Bump bump
    [This Message was Edited on 03/16/2003]
  8. pamela

    pamela New Member

    Oh sweetie..im so very sorry. Im here for you..im sorry I wasn't home Saturday but im selling my duplex and had to crawl over there to do repairs w/ hubby. Have to sell due to fatige and stress of it all. Oh Deb..im so sorry I totally understand how you feel. First what is the denture? Is it a total upper? Lower? A partial? My dad was a dentist (he died 6 yrs ago from colon cancer) but I have worked with him for 20 years of my life. I know a bit about dentistry. I can try to help.. Dentures should not hurt that way. The surgery..well dentures cause the boney ridges. That was one of the main things my dad cautioned his patients about before they had all their teeth pulled. The surgery is not to bad. I have assisted in these surgeries many times before. If you need information about the surgery on how its done ask me. Do you think it will cause further FMS problems or put you in a bad flare? I know that going on in life and wearing the denture and not having the surgery will further complicate your present situation. You do need it done. All the patients my dad repaired their bony ridges were so much happier when it was over. But you think it might make your FMS worse? Right? I hope im reading your post correctly.

    Whats up with the marriage? I tried to get the gest of what your post said..is he not understanding or just a lump on a log..like oh well its another day..type person? Is he abusive? I know all about abusive...my whole life with every man has been abusive until the last 3 years. So let me know on that..okay? I will do all I can to be there for you.
    The Xanax yes it is addictive but there are meds out there that will help. Even if your body does become use to them there are things out there to help get off them. You have inusrance right? I do referrals for specialists and all kinds of doctors. I might can help there to since you have insurance...You need a pain management specialist. You can tell them about your addiction to xanax and they will take that into consideration and give you something that will help you. They will monitor you and give you relief and manage your pain. That is what i go to and it ahs been a Godsend.

    Who was the other half that died? I lost my other soul mate too (my dad) 6 years ago and let me tell you...I was a mess. I locked myseldf in his bedroom for 8 months and refused to have any association with the world. I drank and took pills for my comfort. I was in all kinds of pain. My husband at that time was having numerous affairs and left me 6 months after dad died. That was a relief in my opinion because he was toxic to me. In July I decided to get a life and dad could not be brought back. I still drank (actually all I drank was these wine coolers). Nothing hard like vodka. That came later. But I kicked all that 3 years ago when I married my wonderful husband I knew for 16 years. I know first hand misery will bring all kinds of pain. Basically you need a pain mgt. specialist. They will help you and when and if you go you need to tell them about the xanax. Was it just the physical dependence of it that got you stuck on it? Or was it the anxiety and taking it for that and then you became addicted to it? Let me know I think I can offer some help. If nothing else I can be there for you. One of the mean brats at work takes Paxil for her anxiety. She has panic attacks and says it works wonders. Just think what your friend said to you that died at 70. Would he want you to be in this predicament? I think he would want you to go on... in his behalf. Thats what I had to do in my dads case. It would have killed my dad had he known how I became after he died. I kept thinking....you know... they might be up there watching us...they might can see or just know some how what we do and he (my dad) would have been so disappointed in me if he had saw what I had become. IT took me 3-4 years to really come out of it. See my dad was like your friend. I still get in those mind frames or at least it could slip there real quick and I jsut have to keep thinking postitive and be blessed of what I do have. You have to go on. IT sucks!!! Yes I know that but we have a duty to ourselves. Please write back and tell me about your hubby and what he does or does not do. Maybe we can also e-mail each other. You can mail me anytime. Most of the time im on here reading and learning and offering a glimmer of hope to someone. At least I try I don't know how well I do. I guess coming from the background that I did I was blessed with awesome parents!! They taught me love, life and happiness and I apply that (most of the time). My problem is anxiety and stress too. I worry about everything!!!

    Let me know about your insurance, hubby and anxiety with pills. Please don't suffer anymore there is a way out for you and we can find it..write back...I'll be here all day checking in. Love you lots!!!! Pammy





    [This Message was Edited on 03/16/2003]
    [This Message was Edited on 03/16/2003]
  9. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

    Thank you so much. Just what I need now. I'll email you now. Love, Deb

    bump
  10. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

  11. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    That you are going through such a hard time right now. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Love, Mikie
  12. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

    I went to a brand new n.p. a couples of weeks ago. I went in loaded with printouts from here about candida, and hypothroidism and fm, and dysautonomia and she took them all very seriously. I have to go in for blood work and stuff. Do you think I should just lay out for her and give her a chance or go elsewhere right away? Thanks, Love, Deb

    P.s. this site has given me so much to think about, it is overwhelming!!!
  13. pamela

    pamela New Member

    I would definitely give her a chance. Being that someone is maybe listening...Also see if she might give you something for pain. Celebrex usually does not work. Actually Nsaids they say dont work, they did not for me. Tell her about what we all take here on the board and see what she says. Se ya...Pammy
  14. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    That was so heartbreaking to read, I am so terribly sorry for all that you are living with.

    I have no more advice to offer than you have already received from these caring ladies here that have responded to you.

    I will keep you in my prayers, that I do well. I am a firm believer when we can't do anymore, then we turn to the highest power of all, the blessed Lord who knows all, and helps those who can't help themselves.

    You take care, and please let us know how you are doing, I will start my prayer for you tonight.

    I am sorry I missed your post earlier, I have been gone all day today with my daughter.

    Blessings going your way, and I do mean that from my heart.

    Shalom, Shirl
  15. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

    Thank you so much!!
    Love, Deb

    Bump
  16. afeni

    afeni New Member

    I know that this post is days old, but I really wanted to respond. if you need pain meds, you should take them. We all need help sometimes. There is no shame in that.And you should find a doc you feel confident about to work through your fears and misgivings with you. You have been almost my sole lifeline lately. While I was doing my share of flipping out. My voice of reason. And you have strength in you,even if you don't feel like it. This is something I have felt for a long time. There have been times in my life that I felt like I just couldn't endure 1 more minute of my pain, and confusion, and anger. Times when I couln't understand how I could still be going and I couln't understand why I didn't just quit. And suddenly, one day it came to me. Its nothin' but God holding me up until I could stand on my own again. Sometimes you just have to give it to God. As hard as it is to do. Give it to him, because sometimes he is the only one strong enough and he is the one who will always be loving you enough to bare the burden our our heartaches
  17. Debgene56

    Debgene56 New Member

    Thanks sweety, your right about giving it to god. I have to put less space between us from now on. Love, Deb