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  1. H

    I did the unthinkable...I asked for help

    No one helped me either. I was just about my husband's sole caregiver at home and sole visitor at the NH. Your situation is so much harder because you must work. It hurts a lot, I know. My husband, when rational, often asked about other members of his immediate family, but I learned to lie...
  2. H

    Will I know when it's too late?

    You bring back early memories when my husband did everything possible to hide his illness and fright. I bought into it for such a long time. For myself I think now. I'm sure he was suffering a long time before I was forced to acknowledge that he was ill. You are so brave. My very best...
  3. H


    To hear that you're okay. Love, Ev
  4. H


    Your last post disturbed me and I responded, maybe not too helpfully. Please let us know that you're "hanging on". Know you're not really okay but want you to know I'm thinking of you and telling you truthfully that things will get worse but then a little better. Love, Ev
  5. H

    Please give your thoughts

    After two years of caregiving at home I decided that I could do it no longer and placed my husband in a nursing home. The pain of that decision will never leave me, but I don't think I'd be here writing this if I hadn't made it. Ev
  6. H

    Dear Ev

    Don't post often. See above list for a special reply to you. Ev
  7. H

    Shoess Jerry

    I don't post often, am still overwhelmed with grief and going to counseling. Am so sorry about your wife's decline. I am so fortunate because my husband knew me to the very end even though he knew no one or nothing else. It must have been so hard to have your dear wife change her personality...
  8. H

    Responsibilities of NH

    Nursed my husband for two years at home and he fell many times. The last time was out of his own bed and he broke his hip. After that healed in the NH he fell and broke his arm. They put a mattress at the side of his bed but nursing homes do not use restraints, thank the L...rd. He slipped...
  9. H

    FAQ12 - Basic Med info for depression, anxiety, sleep

    I'm really afraid of going on with the Lorazapam and am going to try the OTC products you mentioned. Ev
  10. H

    FAQ12 - Basic Med info for depression, anxiety, sleep

    Hi Norbert. It'me. Have been taking 2ml. of Lorazapam (valium) every night since my husband died. Can't get to sleep without it. Any alternatives? Ev
  11. H

    "bouncing back" in end stage Alzheimers

    Yes,my husband was lifted from his bed via a large canvas full body sling into a gerichair when he could no longer stand or sit in a wheelchair without slippig out I could still push him out into the sunshine and we could be together.
  12. H

    Midnight madness

    and waiting for a reply. Ev
  13. H

    do some never adjust to NH life???

    Thanks for remembering me. I am doing better but it's awfully slow. Love, Ev
  14. H

    do some never adjust to NH life???

    I think most of them want to "go home" even when they are home. At the NH my husband didn't know where home was (after 30 years) and would describe some place else entirely. Often he thought we were home and would ask me to go into the kitchen or some other room for something. Sometimes he'd...
  15. H

    Nursing home, how when?

    When the spouse has been hurtful or distant it's really hard to make the choice to be their caregiver. It's such a hard, extremely personal job and takes over your life. However, most spouses do make the choice to do the job as long as they are able and their own health isn't endangered. It...
  16. H

    Nursing home, how when?

    Just thinking, it would be heartbreaking to separate him from his beloved dog when he is losing everything else. Would your stepmother continue to care for him if his anger was reduced and he was more content? Sometimes it takes months to figure out which medications work and which don't...
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    How do you know when a nursing home is the answer?

    The decision was made for me when my husband fell at home and broke his hip. He had to recover in a nursing home. I investigated it; it was new and clean and had a good reputation,and most important it was only 40 minutes away so I could visit him every day. Then he got confused just as he...
  18. H

    Hey Midnightmadness

    Am concerned for you. Ev
  19. H

    Taking The Easy Way Out

    Your post frightened me. I have followed your story and you have been this close to the edge before and somehow pulled yourself out of it. You can and will do it again. Your husband's non support must be even more painful than your mother's illness. I believe you are basically strong but have...
  20. H

    Mom's quit bathing and sleeps all the time

    I had to have the water prssure turned down because my husband normally stayed in the shower for 30 minutes every morning before work and we have always had a water shortage here. As his dementia progressed he refused to get into the shower at all and insisted that his Depends were dry when...