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Can you hear me?

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Oh, finally an active message group.I have my 94yr.FIL at my home.By weeks end I'm ready to tear my hair out just from the sound of his footsteps.He is almost deaf and can hardly see but he knows where I am and what I'm doing at all times.DH works and weekends I just want him to take over.He tries but wants rest after working all week.I don't drive anymore due to AI illnesses so I feel so cooped up.Believe it or not I don't feel lonely in fact I long to be alone for a day.



Man, do I. I am caring for both my parents part time (about 30 hrs a wk) and feel at my wits end when my "shift" is over. I get so irritable and they can't help what they do. You have to be there full time and aren't even caring for someone that is a blood relative. Wow, I don't think I'd have any hair left to pull. I also hear the wanting to be alone part and am with you on that too.

I am trying to keep the serenity prayer in my mind and follow it, that helps a tiny bit. As soon as I get the energy I'm going to practice Yoga (even if it is just on my Wii) and hopefully that will help too.

I have no answers Ranigar, but I hear you loud and clear.



New Member
Below is a list and if you go onto the site at the very bottom (where all of this is from), you can click on each one and be directed right to the information.

Support for Caregivers

* Caregiver Network - dedicated to making caregivers' lives easier.
* - Helpling you help aging relitives
* Exceptional Parent Magazine -
* Extended Care Information Network.
* National Caregivers Library
* Family Caregiver Alliance
* National Family Caregivers Association
* National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
* -- for adults 50+ (senior citizens) their children & caregivers
* Today's Caregiver Magazine Online
* Well Spouse Foundation - an association of spousal caregivers

Caregiving Resources

* Aging With Dignity - Five Wishes document helps you express how you want to be treated if you are seriously ill and unable to speak for yourself.
* Alzheimer's Association
* American Association for Retired Persons (AARP)
* American Cancer Society
* American Diabetes Association
* American Heart Association National Center
* American Lung Association
* Arthritis Foundation
* GrowthHouse
* Hospice Foundation of America
* Make-A-Wish Foundation
* Muscular Dystrophy Association - USA
* National Association for Home Care and Hospice ::
* National Family Caregivers Association
* National Kidney Foundation
* National Multiple Sclerosis Society
* National Stroke Association
* Transverse Myelitis Association

* National Family Caregiver Support Program

Care Homes/Homecare

* A Place for Mom! a free referral service helping families find nursing homes, assisted living, Alzheimer's care, retirement communities, and home care.
* Assisted Living Facilities For Seniors - Nursing Homes, Independent And Assisted Living Facilities
* Brandywine Senior Care, Inc. - ventilator care, home healthcare
* CiteHealth - Reports & Ratings on Hospitals, Nursing Homes and Other Health Care Providers
* The Guide to Nursing Facilities
* Nursing Home & Long Term Care Topics
* Palliative CareCenter of the North Shore

Special Needs Trust

* National Special Needs Network
* Future Planning Resources
* Conservatorship, Trusts and Wills - for People with Developmental or Other Disabilities
* Good Shepherd Fund - Services - Special Needs Trust
* Frequently Asked Questions About Special Needs Trusts
* SeniorLaw: Supplemental Needs Trusts
* Special Needs Trust
* Special Needs Trusts Administration
* SSI & Trusts - EM-00067 (5/26/00)

Death & Dying

* Everlife Memorials Learning Center
* Ultimate Concerns -- Death & Dying
* Funerals: A Consumer Guide
* NFDA Consumer Tips for Arranging a Funeral
* Direct Casket - low cost quality caskets
* Distinctive Urns - Cremation Urns, jewelry pendants and keepsakes
* Urns and Cremation Resources by Everlife Memorials
* Virtual Memorials

Books! Books to Buy! Available in association with

* Alzheimer's : A Caregiver's Guide and Sourcebook
* Balancing Work and Caregiving for Children, Adults, and Elders (Family Caregiver Applications, Vol 3)
* Care for the Caregiver : A Guide for Staff in the Helping Professions
* Caregiver Connection : Training Manual
* Caregiver Therapy
* Caregiver's Gethsemane : When a Loved One Longs to Die
* Caregiver's Handbook
* Cash for the Final Days: A Financial Guide for the Terminally Ill and their Advisors
* Circle of Years : A Caregiver's Journal
* Courage for Caregivers
* Dying Well : Peace and Possibilities at the End of Life
* I'm Here to Help : A Guide for Caregivers, Hospice Workers, and Volunteers
* Leboeuf's Home Health Care Handbook : All You Need to Become a Caregiver in Your Home
* Living Well With MS : A Guide for Patient, Caregiver, and Family
* Long Distance Caregiving : A Survival Guide for Far Away Caregivers (The Working Caregiver Series)
* My Baby's Health History : Newborn to 3 Years of Age
* My Child's Health History: 3 to 18 years of age
* Personal Health History: Spinal cord injury
* The Caregiver's Book : Caring for Another, Caring for Yourself (Miller, James E., Willowgreen Series.)
* The Caregiver's Companion : Words to Comfort and Inspire
* The Caregiver's Guide : Helping Elderly Relatives Cope With Health and Safety Problems
* The Complete Nanny Guide : Solutions to Parents' Questions About Hiring and Keeping an In-Home Caregiver
* The Dying Time : Practical Wisdom for the Dying and Their Caregivers
* The Personal Care Attendant Guide: The Art of Finding, Keeping, or Being One
* The Resourceful Caregiver : Helping Family Caregivers Help Themselves
* When Your Parents Need You : A Caregiver's Guide



I'm glad to hear from someone with a similar situation Vivian.It helps to have a connection with people who can relate.I try and be as kind as possible to FIL and not put my frustration on him.He does very well for his age.I need to vent sometimes and my DH feels guilty if it's to him or like he needs to do something which isn't what I'm looking for.There are 7 siblings and all live close but only one with medical problems calls or comes around.I try not to judge and he was an absent father so what can I say.I look forward to hearing more about coping.
Two Cat you are sure on the ball.Bless you for all that information I will check it out.I've lurked around the depression board so I'm familiar with your posts.I love hearing about your cats they have wonderful personalities.Thank-you for taking the time to respond.


New Member
By the way, the site where all that info came from is a safe site to go on (no viruses or such per my computer.

The cats are delighted with compliments and thank you for commenting on their great purrrsonalties. Cesar the cat just ate and then has been up on the desk stretched out while I'm doing this--I guess I need feline supervision and intellect.
[This Message was Edited on 03/13/2009]


New Member
Twocats....alot of info ....i am sick myself and my husband and i are taking care of his mom and dad ....both are in there 80's good thing is they live next door .....
But still having to take care of them and being sick on top of that ...oh man ...

God bless yu


New Member
Also please, please, seek out local caregivers groups that meet near where you live. They can provide you with the addresses and phone numbers of resources right in your area and you'll meet people face to face that are going through what you are, but have more knowledge to help you out.

What I found out is that some buildings charge groups to use rooms, BUT the senior centers do not charge to use their rooms. So many times you find all types of groups using the senior center's rooms to meet there. So check with your local senior center to see what groups meet there.

Also ask some of the groups in the links above how to find groups that meet locally. Local support groups can get you through the hardest times and give you someone to pick up the phone and talk to and get help from right on the spot.

And don't forget to call the main number of your City/town and ask for the Community Services Department. Explain to them about your situation and ask for a caseworker to come out to see what services and help can be provided for the persons you are caring for.

Bless you all for what you do.