Hi, I am in need of a hug. I am a 35yr old poet, wife and mother. I have a 15 yr old daughter who has fm, A twelve yr old daughter with adhd, and a serious case of depression. A 6 yr old son, with delayed speach, who is ambidexturous. And last but not least, a husband who loves us all, but doesn't know how to be there for us.
I love my family. They have been my life. My children are all so bright, and talented in their own individual way. My husband has been the love of my life. The 24th will be our 17th anniversary. I have been with him since I was 16. We have grown up together. We have been there for each other in hard times and pulled each other through.
In my dreams, I am a writer whose work is enjoyed by many. I am healthy, and active, and not overweight. My children are well and happy. My husband is living out his dreams with me. In my dreams I don't see perfection. I just see a good, and fulfilling life.
My reality shows a different picture. My husband isn't getting what he deserves in his career of choice. My illness has undermined my belief in myself. It has taken so much from me. My oldest daughter cannot go to school, because shes so ill right now. My 12 yr old is so depressed, shes gained about 40 lbs in 2 yrs. Shes very smart and her favorite subjects are math and science. She failed last yr. She doesn't sleep at night, won't do her chores, is late to school once a week, and its right behind my apartment. She doesn't want to go outside, or be around anyone. She cries alot. My husband is mad because the house is never clean, and the girls don't do things to his satisfaction. Actually, I don't think I do either. But I see the helplessness in his eyes.
Everybody looks to me to fix hurt feelings, make, and take care of docters app. boost everyones ego. Hold everyones hand. My family is in crisis. My hubby won't go to counsling. Now I am probably moving to Atlanta, where I have family, but I don't know anything about it. It will just be me and the kids. I am scared to death he might end up in Iraq, and not come back. For about 50 different reasons. I have to start all over again with the docs, and schools, and learning my way around....And its stressin' me out. My hubby says how strong I am. But he doesn't seem to understand that even strong people get weak sometimes.
I feel weak now. And so very unsure. And a hug would be nice. I'm pooped.
I really needed to vent
[This Message was Edited on 12/05/2003]
I love my family. They have been my life. My children are all so bright, and talented in their own individual way. My husband has been the love of my life. The 24th will be our 17th anniversary. I have been with him since I was 16. We have grown up together. We have been there for each other in hard times and pulled each other through.
In my dreams, I am a writer whose work is enjoyed by many. I am healthy, and active, and not overweight. My children are well and happy. My husband is living out his dreams with me. In my dreams I don't see perfection. I just see a good, and fulfilling life.
My reality shows a different picture. My husband isn't getting what he deserves in his career of choice. My illness has undermined my belief in myself. It has taken so much from me. My oldest daughter cannot go to school, because shes so ill right now. My 12 yr old is so depressed, shes gained about 40 lbs in 2 yrs. Shes very smart and her favorite subjects are math and science. She failed last yr. She doesn't sleep at night, won't do her chores, is late to school once a week, and its right behind my apartment. She doesn't want to go outside, or be around anyone. She cries alot. My husband is mad because the house is never clean, and the girls don't do things to his satisfaction. Actually, I don't think I do either. But I see the helplessness in his eyes.
Everybody looks to me to fix hurt feelings, make, and take care of docters app. boost everyones ego. Hold everyones hand. My family is in crisis. My hubby won't go to counsling. Now I am probably moving to Atlanta, where I have family, but I don't know anything about it. It will just be me and the kids. I am scared to death he might end up in Iraq, and not come back. For about 50 different reasons. I have to start all over again with the docs, and schools, and learning my way around....And its stressin' me out. My hubby says how strong I am. But he doesn't seem to understand that even strong people get weak sometimes.
I feel weak now. And so very unsure. And a hug would be nice. I'm pooped.
I really needed to vent
[This Message was Edited on 12/05/2003]
