What happens when I can't take care of myself?? | ProHealth Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS and Lyme Disease Forums

What happens when I can't take care of myself??

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donna13210

Member
I've had Fibro since the 80's and my general health has been deteriorating ever since. In the last two decades, my list of detrimental health issues grew and grew (diabetes II, arteriosclerosis, HBP, degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, etc). I was awarded permanent Soc Sec Disability a few years ago and live alone. Lately the fatigue has become overwhelming, and I am not taking care of myself properly. I barely have the energy (or the interest) to take a shower daily and am starting to skip days. I eat only frozen entrees, carryout or any junk that's handy. Or I don't eat at all. I sometimes forget or procrastinate about taking my meds. My apt has become a cluttered, unclean mess and I hate it being this way. I feel like a big blob of skin and fat.

I have no one to help me, and living on Disability, I sure can't afford to hire help. I'm hesitant to contact Social Services (or other such agency) for in-house help because on the outside, I don't look sick. I would be afraid this person would think that I don't really need help. I would feel totally uncomfortable sitting on the sofa and watch TV while someone cleans my apt! Dumb, huh? How do I overcome these thoughts??

Yes I suffer from depression to a certain degree. I don't feel that I'm majorly depressed because in my head I still WANT to be active (clean up the clutter, do crafts again, work part-time, etc).

I hope someone can offer their insight into this problem. Maybe you've been there?
Thanks,
Donna M.
 

donna13210

Member
Hello jaminhealth - I believe you and I have "spoken" before. I haven't been on this message board (or any health-related site) for quite awhile.

I have read online that Soc Services, United Way, and other agencies may have household help available for the chronically ill, low-income persons, and/or senior citizens, but I've never inquired to get the details. Maybe I could try "easing into it" by just asking for help with just one certain chore. It would be interesting to see if I could handle that.

As far as my blood pressure, I had found a very inexpensive gym near me and was going regularly about a year ago. (I'm talking treadmill and a few machines - not a "normal-person workout"). While going there, I had lost a little weight (which really helped with my diabetes), and was starting to feel a bit stronger and a bit better. Then I had surgery and a couple of other painful health challenges, and have never been able to go back to the gym. I keep hoping to get the energy to go back as exercise would help so much with my blood pressure (and other ailments.)

Thanks for your encouraging words. Take care!
 

gb66

Well-Known Member
I've had Fibro since the 80's and my general health has been deteriorating ever since. In the last two decades, my list of detrimental health issues grew and grew (diabetes II, arteriosclerosis, HBP, degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, etc). I was awarded permanent Soc Sec Disability a few years ago and live alone. Lately the fatigue has become overwhelming, and I am not taking care of myself properly. I barely have the energy (or the interest) to take a shower daily and am starting to skip days. I eat only frozen entrees, carryout or any junk that's handy. Or I don't eat at all. I sometimes forget or procrastinate about taking my meds. My apt has become a cluttered, unclean mess and I hate it being this way. I feel like a big blob of skin and fat.

I have no one to help me, and living on Disability, I sure can't afford to hire help. I'm hesitant to contact Social Services (or other such agency) for in-house help because on the outside, I don't look sick. I would be afraid this person would think that I don't really need help. I would feel totally uncomfortable sitting on the sofa and watch TV while someone cleans my apt! Dumb, huh? How do I overcome these thoughts??

Yes I suffer from depression to a certain degree. I don't feel that I'm majorly depressed because in my head I still WANT to be active (clean up the clutter, do crafts again, work part-time, etc).

I hope someone can offer their insight into this problem. Maybe you've been there?
Thanks,
Donna M.[/quote

Donna, You should not be shy about asking for the help you need. I used to deny needing a wheelchair but finally gave in and got one. I wish I would have done it much sooner. You are ill and disabled and I'm sure you will qualify for at home care. Contact as many agencies as you can and see what help you may receive.

There are programs that help with housekeeping, shopping and meals. I've heard of a program called "Meals on Wheels" that delivers meals to homebound people. I imagine there are others also. I hope you get some relief very soon.

I was recently diagnosed with diabetes also. It's very important to eat properly so that you never have to worry about the possible serious complications later on. I also have CFS, FM, arthritis, pelvic prolapse, low thyroid, high cholesterol, tooth and gum issues, migraines, IBS, high BP, tremors and probably a few other things that I've forgotten. lol

My husband does almost everthing in the way of housework and shopping. I just do a little cooking, with his help. Mostly I just take care of my personal needs and try to rest as much as I need to. I've had CFS/FM for 35 years and developed all these other conditions over the last few years so I know how you feel. Hope you feel better soon. GB66
 

donna13210

Member
Hi GB, thanks for the reply. I'm sorry that you have more than your share of health challenges to deal with also. It gets SO frustrating, as many of us know.

And yes, I know I shouldn't hesitate to ask for help. I just have to figure out how to get over these feelings that I have about doing just that.

Take care and I hope you find some relief soon.
 

Mikie

Moderator
When I was at my worst, I hadn't gotten my SSD yet. I felt shame when I couldn't keep my condo up, expecially if anyone stopped in. I did, however, have the occasional good day or two and would do what I could then, despite being bedridden and on morphine most of the time.

What has happened to us is through no fault of our own and we were productive members of society. Now, if we need help, there should be no shame in asking for it. I know it's hard, especially since most of us were independent people before we got sick. Agencies exist to help those who cannot help themselves. It is actually better for society if our needs are met. Good luck.

Love, Mikie
 

Bruin63

Member
I know how you feel.
when my sis lived with me, a few years ago, she had Health care help, through ssdi and then when she rec. her ss, at 65, she was able to get more hours that she could have a helper.

i had a very hard time watching someone else do the house work for her, at the same time, it took a lot of stres off me.

one word of caution, do a background check, yourself.
the soc. serv. screen, but not always as well a s they should.

the last helper, stole some things from, when i was out, and sis couldn't see her in my room, she did give most of it back, only because i wouldn't press charges, my mom's rings meant a lot to me, you know.

i did report her to soc. sev tho, so she could not work through them again.

you'll get used to the help, when you have someone that you can depend on, it's a real blessing, and really, nice to have some one to talk to.
the bset lady we had, was great, but family moved, and then we got the bad one, oh well.

sorry if my typing is weird, as my hands are like claws, these days and shake a lot.

but i enjoy reading , in case there is somethin new that might work, for me too.
hate have great ideas, and ambition, but haveing my get up and go, leave me in the dust, so to speak.

blessings and hope you can have someone who will help to lighten your load, as much as possible

sincerly,
sharonk
 

msbsgblue

Member
I am in the same boat as you, have had this as long as you and I applied to my local Area on the Aging and they evaluated me and I get someone to help me 4 1/2 days a week. I am almosy 67 now and people don't believe I am a day over 55 so I say go for in-home help. It only took me 3 weeks to get my helper.
 

Vinkel

Member
I've had Fibro since the 80's and my general health has been deteriorating ever since. In the last two decades, my list of detrimental health issues grew and grew (diabetes II, arteriosclerosis, HBP, degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, etc). I was awarded permanent Soc Sec Disability a few years ago and live alone. Lately the fatigue has become overwhelming, and I am not taking care of myself properly. I barely have the energy (or the interest) to take a shower daily and am starting to skip days. I eat only frozen entrees, carryout or any junk that's handy. Or I don't eat at all. I sometimes forget or procrastinate about taking my meds. My apt has become a cluttered, unclean mess and I hate it being this way. I feel like a big blob of skin and fat.

I have no one to help me, and living on Disability, I sure can't afford to hire help. I'm hesitant to contact Social Services (or other such agency) for in-house help because on the outside, I don't look sick. I would be afraid this person would think that I don't really need help. I would feel totally uncomfortable sitting on the sofa and watch TV while someone cleans my apt! Dumb, huh? How do I overcome these thoughts??

Yes I suffer from depression to a certain degree. I don't feel that I'm majorly depressed because in my head I still WANT to be active (clean up the clutter, do crafts again, work part-time, etc).

I hope someone can offer their insight into this problem. Maybe you've been there?
Thanks,
Donna M.
I've had Fibro since the 80's and my general health has been deteriorating ever since. In the last two decades, my list of detrimental health issues grew and grew (diabetes II, arteriosclerosis, HBP, degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, etc). I was awarded permanent Soc Sec Disability a few years ago and live alone. Lately the fatigue has become overwhelming, and I am not taking care of myself properly. I barely have the energy (or the interest) to take a shower daily and am starting to skip days. I eat only frozen entrees, carryout or any junk that's handy. Or I don't eat at all. I sometimes forget or procrastinate about taking my meds. My apt has become a cluttered, unclean mess and I hate it being this way. I feel like a big blob of skin and fat.

I have no one to help me, and living on Disability, I sure can't afford to hire help. I'm hesitant to contact Social Services (or other such agency) for in-house help because on the outside, I don't look sick. I would be afraid this person would think that I don't really need help. I would feel totally uncomfortable sitting on the sofa and watch TV while someone cleans my apt! Dumb, huh? How do I overcome these thoughts??

Yes I suffer from depression to a certain degree. I don't feel that I'm majorly depressed because in my head I still WANT to be active (clean up the clutter, do crafts again, work part-time, etc).

I hope someone can offer their insight into this problem. Maybe you've been there?
Thanks,
Donna M.
 

donna13210

Member
Thank you all for your encouraging words! Sorry for the delayed reply - haven't been online much lately. Mikie - I know the shame you speak of. Know it very well. And lord yes, I'm SO used to being independent! I've worked full-time since age 16 and raised a daughter by myself when my hubby decided to leave us when she was just 2 yrs old. I'm not used to asking for help and I'm SURELY not used to people offering it without being asked. I find that that only happens in the movies!

Sharon - that is another concern of mine: to be able to trust any help that comes into my home. I'm sorry that you went through that bad experience. That's awful !!

Thanks again to all. I'll try to hang in there if you will !!
Take care.
 

msbsgblue

Member
I wanted to retouch this for anyone needing help. Wow cannot believe I was 67 the last time I did. I am now 72 pushing 73.

It took me a time to find the correct company and person who fit well with me as a worker but for over a year now I have had the most wonderful young woman of age 32 who has become like a daughter to me and go to the moon and back for me.

It took me time to get use to someone else doing my work as I am quite particular about my home. Do not feel badly, if you are like me you worked most of your life and deserve it. Savannah even drives me to my appointments and is very well versed in sewing and mending which is becoming a lost art in today's younger people. I am so grateful for her as she certainly takes excellent care of me.

For those new to needing help, and I am almost completely crippled now from FM, arthritis and back issues, please take advantage of this service. If I did not have her I would likely be nearing a nursing home which is a no no for me.
 

Mikie

Moderator
Thanks for catching us up. I am so glad for you that you found someone to help out. I am sorry your FMS is worse. I have two friends who have had to move into assisted living and both are happy. While I think we should put that off as long as possible, it is reassuring to know that there are people who like it. Both lived in dread of ever having to go to assisted living.

Stop over to the latest Porch thread on the Chit Chat Forum. It's so nice to have a place to talk about most anything and get our minds off our aches and pains. Nice folks there.

Love, Mikie
 

Mikie

Moderator
Oh my gosh. I do remember you. It was so sad when we lost dear Bill. We have to keep closing the old Porch threads so they don't get too cumbersome. We open new ones after 30 or 40 posts. The gang seems to like it that way. We lost some of the old posts when PH upgraded the website. Please do stop by the last Porch, I think it's #1155.

Love, Mikie
 
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